Today’s Lunch – 23rd January 2019

Published January 23, 2019 by helentastic67

todays lunch

Today’s Lunch

Good Mental Health Day

Well, sadly I’m not at my favourite cafe today. I’m at an old haunt for a BBQ for a Brain Injury group I’m connected to called United Brains. Although apart from those beautiful, beautiful words (ok, acronym) the Great Aussie BBQ! I do get to see some old familiar faces I’ve not seen for a while and before I show you some photos of today’s lunch, here’s some pictures from my exciting Ladies Adventure Day on Monday. A friend and I went and scooped up Caroline my masseuse on the way South! We literally kidnapped her for a day of, what I prefer to call “Eat! Eat! Eat! (Take a few photos) and get a little burnt day.

united brains

Our destination was the Mornington Peninsula, first to Dromana where we ate fish and chips on the foreshore, got a little wind-burnt after about 20 minutes. Before moving to lie on our towels, not on the beach but under a nice tree in some shade. Getting up was lots of fun, my knees finding every single twig and stick my towel had covered with the kind assist of my 2 lady friends they hooked me upright.

fish and chips

lying under tree










Did the sightseeing tour along the coast through Mount Martha to Mornington and despite the ladies calling from behind me to “wait up” and that we had just walked past a gelato shop, I powered ahead not preparing to change course from my destination. Found my preferred location for both ice cream to die for and coffee (to die for) just next door the ladies understood my mission to get to this particular ice creamery. I’ve only been once before, but I got my usual chocolate, Tirana’s you and lemon. The chocolate was really dark and rather than sickly sweet you could taste the cocoa. Tirana’s? Mmmmmmmmmmm, do I need to say more? And the lemon finishes it off with a little tartness! Then medicine.

ice cream shop

ice cream










I don’t get to have holidays and such so a nice lady’s day away was just what Helen ordered!
Hope you enjoy the photos!

morningtonbeach 1









beach 2beach 3









And then today’s lunch……..
Some bread with a snag & sauce, a hamburger & sauce. Some salads. So, typically good fair.
I did have some medicine but it’s gone already. Strong & sweet is what you get here.















Published January 21, 2019 by helentastic67



As you may recall the last place, I lived I was in a unit, I was the front unit in a small block of three. What was so good about it was that apart from feeling like I lived in a house, complete with three bedrooms, a real laundry, a small backyard and a linen cupboard. But what was particularly good was I had street frontage.

street frontage 1

I could sit on my couch and see when the landlady came down with her secateurs and dead headed the roses. I could see people walk their dog’s past and stop to smell the roses. Part of the reason why I never picked the roses to bring them inside was because I could watch people appreciate them, from my couch and it also meant I discovered my garden hose cut by something sharp, I could tell it was likely my landlady who was insisted I not use the garden tap, telling me they paid for it.

smell the roses

Ironic, I don’t miss her and her ‘Handsy’ husband. However, the point being, is that when I had the CBF’s (Can’t be Fucked) to leave the house, I would stay in bed, but look out the window and see that I wasn’t alone, even if I didn’t want to go out and be a part of the world.


I remember a downside was the 50 something, man child who still lived at home, who parked outside my bedroom window. About six metres from my window and across the front lawn. The footpath, then the nature strip. (But still) and he would go out to warm his engine at 6am every friggin morning and he wouldn’t do it once, but several times. Every morning. I wanted to scream at him.

man child

“Dude! Your car is old, but it’s not vintage” now you know said ‘Man-Child’ was Greek. Because they are.

old car parking

But the main cool thing about having a street frontage was that most days there would be a car that drove past and tooted. Now, I didn’t know who was doing the tooting for ages and having lived in Clifton Hill years ago, opposite some low-rise Public Housing (don’t start me). Apparently, the norm is when visiting someone in Public Housing, you pull up in your car out front and toot your horn. None of this getting out, going in and using the doorbell. Don’t be ridiculous.


So, I had presumed (note: Avoidance of the word assume) that some lazy ass was saying hello to the wogs across the street without stopping.

lazy ass

It was a very fair assessment, trust me. So, the tooting horn continued, I have to give it to my carers who seemed to appreciate my frustration.


Until one day, I mentioned it to Aunty Christine and she growled at me “THAT’S ME”. What? Apparently, Aunty Christine would go past and toot a hello every other day, would have been helpful if I’d known this.

thats me

From then on, when I’d hear it, I’d turn to my carer in residence and point outside to say ‘That’s Aunty Christine’. Sometimes, she would later report a guy across the street looking strangely at her ass she drove past. So, she would just give them a dismissive wave. As if they were meant to know she was doing the 5 quick toot salute to Helen? Priceless.

dismissive wave

The downside is I now live on a very busy corner in an apartment and no more tooting.

no more tooting

Tram Stop

Published January 18, 2019 by helentastic67

tram stop

Tram Stop

I was standing at the tram stop the other day when waiting for a tram. In a perfect world every tram would be a flatbed tram (that’s accessible) and one pulled to a stop, but the doors didn’t open.

flatbed tram 1

One of the other two women mentioned the tram stated it was not in service, I hadn’t noticed. I claimed poor eyesight and the other woman mentioned she’d broken her ankle at Christmas. Broken ankle lady stated she was doing a Masters in the effects of Social Media and the internet on society (I think). I got my phone out of my bag and looked at it. My phone apart from driving all the amazing things like text, phone, cull emails while out and countless other things. It is my watch, because I don’t have one.

effects of social media

I briefly looked at my phone then up and way down in to the distance, I saw a tram and commented that one was coming. Broken ankle/Masters degree looked at me and asked if I’d ‘Looked it up?’ I said I hadn’t but I had ‘Looked up’ and she told me I’d made a joke.

looking up

Even more amusing, was that Masters was older than I am, so she remembered a time without internet/computers and socializing online better than I do. So, for once I didn’t feel like the old one.


Today’s Lunch – 16th January 2019

Published January 16, 2019 by helentastic67

todays lunch

Today’s Lunch

Well, I’ve survived another Christmas holiday period when my favourite cafe closes down and while I could go to dozens of cafes closer to home nobody looks after me like the place I’ve been going with regularity for 10 years and I think the regular staff might not have remembered me from before I developed my disabilities, but they certainly treat me like I’m a normal person and well, not asking questions of what I did to my arm, etc. It’s great to be back!

surviving christmas

I’ve already been a little busy organising things to run smoothly for the rest of the year. Chasing up Botox referrals and my new NDIS plan! YES! It’s been approved! I should have it by Christmas 2018, they said, my backside! It was approved January 10th and even that small delay pushes everything back including requests for carers and services. It all counts.  January seems to be a time not worth trying to achieve much as most of everywhere I need to deal with to get anything achieved is still in holiday-mode, or still on holidays. Might as well have a stay-a-way too.

everyones on holidays

By now, you likely all realise how bad my sleeping pattern is? If not, you are about to. Tuesday morning I’d just gotten to bed around 2.30am, took a while to get to sleep and around 3.30am heard increasingly off-putting sounds from Mika. When I went to bed Mika curled up against my leg on top of the blanket purring. So happy! 3.30am? Growling, hissing, smells (you know the ones) and at first all I could think was, “where would she find another cat to be growling at?” I got up to investigate.

sleeping pattern

It was hot! Did I mention we are in peak summer? Every day hot! Even over night! I called Mika’s name and closed the door to the study. She considers it her room. I move around inside without needing to turn on a light. There is enough coming in from the street. I don’t close my blinds. I see Mika standing at the glass balcony door. She is growling. What the? Looking out onto the balcony amongst the jungle of my plants, I spy a slim long-haired black cat. It sees me and scrambles up onto my large potted curry plant. It wriggles through the 2.5-inch gap and is gone. OMG!

balconey gardencalla lilly










I have mentioned I live on the second floor, haven’t I?

Not happy Jan.

Mika hasn’t been let out onto my balcony despite her curiosity at the water running across the tiles, from watering the plants. I would net the balcony if it weren’t for the expensive, and the promise to ‘make-good’ when I vacate and the drama of getting the body Corp to agree to let me net the balcony. Easier to not let Mika outside. She manages to have a view from the windows and there is fly-wire screens so can’t get out. She chases the little sun to get her vitamin D! Cats do have their priorities after all.

black cat

Now, time for eating and writing. I’m way behind on writing. Today’s offerings are, the chicken and turmeric salad & my standard medicine.
Nom! Nom! Nom! Nom!

chicken and tumericlatte













Published January 14, 2019 by helentastic67

ndis 1


One of these days Alice! One of these days! One of my work colleagues (still a friend) from fifteen years ago, used to say that to me all the time when I was giving him a bit of SASS.

one of these days alice

What can I say? I refer to him as my Gay Silver Fox.

grey silver fox

Anyway, I digress.

One of theses days I want to be able to tell someone how amazing it is to have the NDIS. If your new to my blog, National Disability Insurance Scheme.

how great is the ndis

I don’t want to utter the words. It’s an absolute shitstorm of red tape and the goal posts moving and it’s a friggin’ nightmare.

Why is it so hard?

Should point out the NDIS is the ONLY FUNDING I’ve had.

Wait, I had some one-off funding of $9,000 about five years ago, which is how I bought my laptop, iPad and iPhone and a number of other things.


When you first get given that kind of funding and a time limit of six months to spend it. (it must be spent on disability related such and such) You struggle to imagine how you will use it all.


But, nailed it, I did.

nailed it

But, seriously the NDIS!!!

seriously ndis


Published January 11, 2019 by helentastic67

junkies 1


Today I thought I’d have a bit of a grumpy rant about Junkies and I’ll premise this post by quoting Russell Brand when he appeared on Alan Carr’s Grand National Spectacular.

alan carr

If you are not familiar with his show, he’s from the UK and he’s night time show is similar to the American late-night shows and he starts the show offering his guest a beverage that he throws together at his drinks tray.

alan carr drinks

Now, Russell Brand has very publicly quit all of his bad habits and advocated to Governments about the problems of living as a heroin junky and such.

russell brand

So, there is that awkward moment where Alan Carr turns to his guest and prompts him with a “Oh, now you have a problem with…..?” Bit of an open-ended question. Very awkward.

now you have a problem

But rather brilliantly, Russell Brand responds with “I didn’t have a problem with drugs and alcohol” “I had a problem dealing with Life Problems” and I find that I greatly admire Russell Brand for that infinite wisdom.

lifes problems

So, it’s with infinite annoyance as not having a problem “dealing with life/pills/drugs/alcohol” that when I went to the chemist a month ago to get my over the counter packet of Panadeine, side bar, Panadeine, pretty low on Opiate list and it takes me months to get through a packet of 24, as I skip out my Panadol (very low grade opiate) for period pain as I’m not allowed to have blood thinners.

low grade opiates

NO MORE NAPROGESIC or as one pharmacist I have known call them the “Special Blue Pill, that stop us killing men” once at the chemist, I was informed I now needed a script for Panadeine.


Damn Junkies

Of course, the pharmacist came over and in front of the regular chic, I mostly get to see at the chemist, comes over to recommend another option off the shelf. I mention I can’t do blood thinners and when anyone starts mentioning Codeine and “whatever” my eyes glaze over.

eyes glazed over 1

I mention my baseline pain management is Panamax and that during my crazy-lady hormone time I swap out the Panamax for Panadeine. But I’ll get a script and this month I’ll hit it with some Oxy norm (5mg high on the Opiate family tree, but only takes the edge off serious pain for me for three hours).

pain relief 1

The regular woman immediately laughed appreciating my humour. The pharmacist looked somewhat concerned and I think I only got exempted from a lecture about being careful etc, because the other lady laughed.

pharmacy lecture

And I got a script.

I returned to the chemist a week later with said script and was informed there was a problem at the manufacturers, so no appropriate pain relief again.

no pain relief

I gave it a rest for a few weeks before revisiting the chemist, only to be informed the script was rendered useless, because they had discontinued. I was offered other, other options and codeine and other words were bandied about. (My brain just goes to sleep)

pain relief

I don’t want to have to think about other options, I can’t do blood thinners. Why do I keep having to have the same conversation?

get home

Fine!  I’ll go home and hit my pain with some (Oxy norm) and a sledge hammer.

Apparently now, I can get Panadeine Extra and guess what I need, a different script. FARK!!!

Luckily, I book my GP every four to six weeks and even if I rang him, he would happily send me a script. But my point is, JUNKIES and their inability to deal with life (thanks Russell Brand) I had to jump through hoops to get.

jump through hoops

Furthermore, ironically when I started writing this post a week ago, in the back room of my favourite café, where I overhear the usual first world problems.

Three older ladies at a table beside me were discussing their ‘Problem Child’. The way she was speaking, I imagined said child to be around seven and maybe on the Autism Spectrum? I imagine Autism to be diagnosed earlier than that and I also imagine this woman to be too old to have seven-year-old. Not being “Ageist” but also imagined she was talking about a grandchild, because there was a slight sense of ‘distance’ in how she was discussing the ‘issue’.

problem child

So, write busy, eating, drinking and writing several pages of this post, I soaked up the conversation around me and managed not to react. (I’ve been accused at work years ago of having Dumbo Ears. Well, in my defence you do learn by osmosis in some work environments)

dumbo ears

So, the problem child, I’ll give it to you straight, seventeen years old, male, addicted to gaming. Um? Yes, it’s an addiction when you have to have your internet cut off at midnight so your teenage kids sleep. Sure, but seventeen-year-old boy.

addicted to gaming

Poor kid, was getting slammed for doing what a lot of teenage boys (sometimes grown men) do for oddly, their social down time.

So, yeah, also my eye rolls that this mum was putting her son’s addiction to computer games in the same league as Heroin.

eye roll

I have two words for how to snap teenagers out of their habits of too much gaming. Adult diapers. That should snap them right out of it, no.

adult diapers

Oddly having struggled to get any sugar from the sugar dispenser, I had helped myself to sugar from the ladies table, I had struggled so much, I gave up.


I couldn’t be bothered asking for their help so had given up, eventually, Gabriella came to clear the tables and I mentioned the sugar bottle being blocked and I asked the ladies beside me if they had trouble with getting any sugar? I was informed they hadn’t even used the sugar and the look I received as if I had a ‘Problem’ with sugar. I have half a teaspoon, hardly a problem.

“Several months later I am horrified to realise the solution now called Panadeine Extra, comes in a 24 packet and costs me $16 and I use half of this over a 3-day time frame.

panadeine extra

My other scripts only cost me $6.50 each. And then there’s everything else I take to keep me healthy I pay out of pocket, that I can’t get on a script.


I am aware this sounds like first world problems but I don’t have the option to not get medications and vitamins and the like. These things keep me healthy. Keeping healthy keeps a roof over my head and my independence. That’s how I deal with life issues!

stay healthy

I’m not drowning my sorrows in a bottle, yet when others do it, it still impacts me too.


Today’s Lunch – 9th January 2019

Published January 9, 2019 by helentastic67

todays lunch

Today’s Lunch

Good Mental Health Day

Sometimes good things happen when least expected and even better if I can give a life lesson. You know I worked in nightclubs back in the 90’s for 5 years? Yeah, it felt like 10, but it was intense three to six nights a week. No drugs and barely any alcohol. Yeah so last week I had lunch with a chick I knew from back in those days. Yes, we were friends yet I hadn’t seen her since those days, losing touch because I moved back to the country for two years and her relocating across the ditch. This was before everybody had a mobile phone.

working in nightclub

While my club career added to my skill set, it didn’t lead to further employment shall we say.
However, meet Skye Bromberg. She was the receptionist at some of the clubs I worked at and the Door-Bitch at another. Telling young guys in bad suits they couldn’t enter the club because she “couldn’t guarantee their safety”, (because the regular patrons would want to sort them out)
Club work really can lead to bigger and better careers.

And here is Mika playing with her new toy. Many thanks to Stephanie, she loves it!

mika & fish

And then just before Christmas a gift arrived into my letterbox. It was from ‘Santa!’ and while I do all my gifts from ‘Santa’ if I put it in your hand you know it’s from me. Now, this gift was are specially from the man in red, and I am stumped! Welcome to my Happy Socks!
happy socks

I have been asking everybody! It’s going to drive me crazy! Just crazy!

going crazy

One more week and my favourite cafe is back! So, today’s lunch was closer to home, much closer.
Today’s offering is a beetroot salad with goats’ cheese and my medicine, of course.













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