Anonymous

Published November 11, 2019 by helentastic67

Anonymous

I think I might need to write a book one day, which I will need to publish under a pseudonym and that would be because it would definitely require a warning about antidepressants and a requirement from pharmaceuticals to do something about the crazy dreams I keep having.

Case in point:

I’m with a group of guys (I don’t know, but I seem to in this reality), a guy is walking me around a shop pointing out which things to grab. He seems not to care who sees or hears him. We are in a shop with jewellery, crystals and incense. There are a lot of crystal figurines and such, it’s not a place I recognise.

Later in the evening, I’m back in the shop with now a group of guys, I’m walking around grabbing the items that were earlier pointed out to me. I put my hand into my bag and pull out my Nanna granny shopping bag. I find it’s inside out and I can’t quickly put it in the right way one handed. I ask the guy closest to me if he will help and we both notice at the same time he has a matching bag. We wordlessly brush it off. Embarrassing and I put the items in my bag anyway.

We escape the shop as the police arrive, darting down a quiet street in a residential area. It’s a long weekend and there are a few taxi’s about to fill up with families, young children and luggage. There are terrace houses, I don’t recognise with small front yards and a footpath that cuts along the first of all of them.

I’m alone now, walking along the footpath that is raised up along an embankment. I don’t remember which house I’m to go in. I’m not faster than the guys, just got there a different way. Two of the guys are now nearby telling me which house to duck into.

Later, I’m moving through a busy marketplace and going down some metal stairs with a handrail. Not very accessible but I manage going down my left foot on each step.

Left foot. Left foot.

My adrenaline is rushing. I get to the bottom of the steps and I’m in a weird kinda tattoo/hairdressers. One of the guys I was with earlier is standing there and before he had longer hair and now, he has a very blunt doo at just under his ears. Not stylish at all. While we are not alone, I still give him some sass. I give him some shit about his new hairdo, it’s terrible.

It was done so he can be unrecognisable if he is caught. All of a sudden, I realise my hair is down, all curly and fluffy around my shoulders. I feel the whizzing around my head.

Next, the police come in behind me, I’m on my knees and the haircut is nearly complete. My lost vision as I came awake is me with a mostly buzzed off hairstyle with what was left of my hair coming out from somewhere off the top/back of my head, a long thick dry messy plait.

I’m told, dreams are from a parallel universe, I just think pharmaceutical companies could do something better.

Please hit ‘Like’ if you made it this far.

I woke from this dream this morning and it’s taken all day to write it own. Are your dreams as vivid?

 

Expectations

Published November 8, 2019 by helentastic67

Expectations

It’s really easy when you have an emotional detachment from issues that you can problem solve or find a solution to things when they are not your problems. You can assess the pros & cons and have a realistic expectation.

It’s easy to notice when people change and ??? when things in their live don’t go the way they would prefer.

I have found my circle of friends thin out over recent years, since my diagnosis and disability. Let me give you an example:

Once upon a time, well in last three jobs I worked in, office roles. Doing admin TPO Training Placement Officer) etc. The first job I ended up working up to having admin under my position and I was training them.

One woman, let’s call her ‘Sticks’ (she was tall and slim- don’t real any more it’s it) ‘Sticks’ and I worked there together and the next two places together. I saw her every day or had a conversation on the weekends of some sort.

She and I came from completely different walks of life. She still lived at home, still shared a room with her sister, yet managed to have sex. SEX! Every day with her boyfriend.

To be fair, her version of sex wasn’t mine, however that part is. When we no longer had that common thread, she got a different job (where she imagined she would have more time) and she would see me more.

Spoiler Alert: this did not happen.

For a little while after my treatment and before my hair had grown back and I’d started to see the ‘fall-out’ from my treatment, I’d go do lunch with ‘Sticks’ at the workplace I used to work at. I’d see the people I used to work with also. There was that sense of community I’d been part of, but no longer subscribed to. So for a little while the contact continued. I’d crank her (when you call someone and head up just as they got to the phone – which was something fun I used to do to her in the office, as I’d see her standing not far from her desk across the partitions in the office, so I could tell just how long to ring her and the conversations I’d have over the phone when she was forced to talk in code to have people around  her not know what she was talking about or who) and on a rare occasion she’d call me at midnight. Yes, I know, midnight, wait

Because we were both awake and she wanted to pick my brain about getting or qualified for a mortgage. Wait! I know, I asked myself that question already. What do I know about getting a mortgage? Do I have one? No! I do not. But I would have a credit rating.

I’ve been a renter for so long, to sit down and work out how much rent I’ve spent, not on a mortgage and I’ve had household accounts with my name on them and while I’ve not recently owned a car or ever had a car worth much.  (I had a poor art student car in the form of a Chrysler Galliant from the mid ‘90’s, but did I mention it was a mid 70’s model?) and I have had a Visa for some time.

So, the moral of the story is the less in common you have with your old friends, the less likely you will maintain that friendship.

And it is no-one’s fault, it just is what it is.

 

Today’s Lunch – 6th November 2019

Published November 6, 2019 by helentastic67

Today’s Lunch

Good Mental Health Day

Again, another Wednesday where lunch may not even happen. I have a long day planned. Fingers crossed it goes to plan. Which means maybe the best way to explain, is to share?

Today, a carer to help me get it together and get out for the day. So far, so good. Make a call or two over breakfast. My second carer arrives and we depart, deliver a container to my local cafe and pay for tomorrow’s late lunch for my masseuse Caroline and I to share. Off to my chiropractor. Then the pet shop. Bosley has found a home! Yay! My girl-Wednesday and I visit Nelly’s Arc every week. It’s where I found my Mika.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Nelly’s Arc is supplied by the Neko Lounge.

Next, I’m off to the city to go to an exhibition opening. I participated in a project about what a home means to people with disabilities. A group of us were interviewed, filmed for a website, photographed in our homes then an exhibition was created with photos also. It’s great to be part of something useful to a broader community, that gives people an insight into the lives of people with disabilities.

Then, off home for a kip! I actually have scheduled a kip for special reasons. Alarm! (I hate setting an alarm! But up, early dinner. Keep cup of medicine then a tram to the city. Meeting Caroline at Hamer Hall to see a comedian. Dylan Moran! I’ve seen him twice already so I already know he is very funny. If you are not familiar with his work you should check him out. He was also in the very hilarious series called Black Books. I am overdue to re-watch this show. I shall let you know next Wednesday.

Dylan Moran

I did get to sort of have lunch on the train into the city. I think I survive by preparing things in advance for busy days. I had a croissant with ham & cheese. That I baked, froze, defrosted then completely flattened in my panini press!

Well, this is the plan at least!

Cheers, H

Connections

Published November 3, 2019 by helentastic67

Connections

That moment when you realise you didn’t sleep with the right people when you worked in clubs, back in the day. To be fair, I didn’t sleep with anyone back in the day. Well, not no body, but boyfriends. Clearly, not the right people.

Today, I attempted to share my administrator’s son’s Crowdfunding page to people I used to work for, back in my club days. Said son has CP (if your recall?) mentioned on the 22nd May 2019.

https://hellonwheelslifeonehanded.wordpress.com/2019/05/22/todays-lunch-22nd-may-2019/

And you guessed it. Deleted!

FUCK I HATE PEOPLE!

I made people rich, drunk and got them laid. What did I get for all my clean living? Screwed!

I hate people.

 

Wake Up Dead

Published November 1, 2019 by helentastic67

Wake Up Dead

Is it just me or am I crazy? (don’t answer that!) I get that I have a lot of migraines. I get that I would rather sleep to fix my migraines than take pills. I’m not saying I’m completely against drugs. I’m just suggesting my first option is always sleep, chiropractor, sleep, then drugs.

However, when I go to bed at 7pm, it’s fucking serious. I don’t even think I want to go to bed that early as a baby. It’s even more serious if I send a message to family to ask them to check on me in the morning in case, I wake up dead.

This generally gets a thumbs up, just saying. Is it normal that family don’t think to follow up?

Anyone?

This happen to anyone else?

Please Comment

 

Today’s Lunch – 30th October 2019

Published October 30, 2019 by helentastic67

Today’s Lunch

Good Mental Health Day

This week’s post is all about the food! Food of the gods maybe, and the reason for food and celebrating is because last week I was 46 and now I’m a whole year older. I’m never super happy around my birthday.  Not complaining about getting older. The other option is not to be here and it’s not an option. It’s just being alone brings up all kinds of issues and loneliness. Family usually get together to eat amazing food somewhere but I’m always left feeling a bit underwhelmed.

Sunday went to Hellenic Republic in Brunswick! (It’s got my name on it!) It’s the restaurant owned by the recently departed master chef judge George Columbaris (he didn’t die btw!) It’s modern Greek food. So good!

 

We start with dips and bread, olives, some salads and two slow cooked meats, including a lamb shoulder apparently for two, but we have so much to choose from we share between five! Not to mention Saganaki and haloumi cheese. Rolled home to have Hummingbird cake. I request it from time to time and my mum makes it. Was so happy I skipped dinner, had a big beck’s mug of water instead.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

On my birthday, got to have late lunch with my lovely masseuse Caroline. Went to a cool hipster cafe in Northcote called Tinker. And had this hot cake with Persian fairy-floss on top. Caroline was very impressed with my efforts to finish it. Repeat of last night’s dinner.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And today, back at my favourite cafe in Fitzroy North. I’ve always thought it was in Clifton Hill but all this time I’ve been wrong. Recent weeks has seen me not make it here but today I skipped something to be here. Thought I’d concentrate on my once a year slice of this amazing goodness. I call it the Salted chocolate thing, thing, thing! Because I forget it’s called the ……………Montalbano.

This was after a very healthy lunch of pancetta quiche with side salad and medicine!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Then I’ve got a photo shoot here later! To be continued……..

Cheers H

Murder

Published October 28, 2019 by helentastic67

Murder

Oh, my Sweet Jesus Nelly! I don’t know if you can tell, but ‘Sweet Jesus’ has become part of my repertoire for swearing, but in this case it’s not in frustration or disgust, it’s because a carer shared the most hilarious side-splitting story with me on Monday.

Often as part of my time with carers I greet them with ‘how was your weekend?’ or whatever. I do see my carers more than family or friends, so I get their home lives set-up and know if they have had a good weekend or otherwise.

My Girl-Monday, lives with her son, daughter-in-law and 2.5-year-old granddaughter, while the husband is elsewhere finishing up selling a house, so he can join her in Melbourne. So, it was a bit of a surprise when Girl-Monday and I were in my ensuite and she came out with this statement.

“My daughter-in-law almost murdered my son on the weekend!”

WHAT?

I’m sorry What?

Did you say what I think you just did?

She did and she repeated it. My eyes darted to her face.

Apparently, the young granddaughter can get into the cot by herself (can you hear where this is going?) I’m thinking ahead and maybe they are already outsourcing parenting at bedtime and it goes like this.

“Oh, are you feeling sleepy? Do you want to get into bed?” Crazy right? I suspect this in reverse is why the son decided to teach the daughter (carers granddaughter) how to get out of the cot.

I looked at my carer and gave her a long Noooooo!!!!

So, he must have thought if in the morning and she wakes up before they are ready to get out of bed, they can call to her “Sweetie, do you want to get into bed with mummy and daddy?” and they wouldn’t need to go get her.

Again, I looked to my carer in a questioning his intelligence and of way. She informed me he is well educated intelligent young man.

I’m just thinking he has not thought this through and I’m with the daughter-in-law. Even now my sides hurt thinking about how my carer told me about this situation Monday morning.

I’m a single barren spinster, but I’ve had two younger sisters and even I know better.

 

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