Today’s Lunch – 21st March 2018

Published March 21, 2018 by helentastic67


Today’s Lunch

Good Mental Health Day

Good Mental Health Day

Another Wednesday creeps around, this week so far less stressful.

Although the usual drama organising carers to get organised to get out of the house (paraphrasing, I now live in an apartment) and get to an early appointment then home again in time for my 2pm carer. Does this ever end?


Today’s offering is Fungi Pizza with the side salad and my medicine. I’m not big on mushrooms but on a rare occasion maybe I’m feeling a little mouldy. (Get it?)












Happy Wednesday 1



Published March 19, 2018 by helentastic67



I think I have worked my way around having carers in my home very well. Here’s an example; I have a rewards system, they can gain points or lose points and they have no idea how to do either.

Carers in the home

I’ve been getting new carers recently to utilise my NDIS funding and I’ve had maybe four different providers in eight years because I’ve moved three times and under HACC they keep you in-house until they work out what your needs etc are, then they outsource you to an agency, if they can’t cover your hours or service requirements. So I’m getting kind of OK (good) at it.

Booking carers

  1. If I get a call from the office to tell me a carer is at my front door and they didn’t ring the doorbell. You lose a point.
  2. If you lie to me, if you continue to lie to me. You lose a point.
  3. You treat me like I have an intellectual disability (ID). Yes, you lose a point.
  4. You treat anyone without respect or humanity. Lose a point and my respect.
  5. You do your job. You get a point.
  6. You do your job well. You get a point.
  7. You do a shitty job well, with a smile on your face. You get a point.
  8. After an acceptable ‘cooling off period’ (undetermined) you can do what’s required without me asking you. Yes, you get a point.
  9. You have spare time and find something that you think requires attention and you just do it. You get a point.

Now, you have the basics let me give you an example.

Apart from the first one because that’s obvious. A new carer arrived and she had her earbuds (headphones) in her ear. She took one out and slipped her phone in her bag. I politely greeted her and she responded to me. I politely stated three different ways (can’t remember now exactly what I said, but it was a challenge) without outright calling her a liar.

Carer with earbuds

She kept insisting it was not on ever, after she first told me she could hear me. I still thought it rather rude, so I just politely told her I could still hear the music. She took her phone out, turned it off. For real this time and took out the earbud.

Liar liar

There is no specific score one gets or loses before I deem it relevant to contact the office and add them to a list call the ‘Blocked’ list.


I have a very active ‘Blocked’ list of girls I won’t have back to the point, if I speak to the right person they know my standards and my reasons and I am not required to explain myself.

blocked 1

New Year

Published March 16, 2018 by helentastic67

New Year

New Year

I know you can’t tell because it’s probably July or August. Just a guess, in reality and certainly in my world it’s January 4th, yes.

The crazy life, that is Helen begun. Went to bed early last night, OK, technically 1am, so whatever.

Jamima, lord love her, pestered me all night. Her nose and whiskers on my face, walking all over me not sure where to settle, scratching at my covers, the licks and fang-like bites = Pest.

Sitting on face

Also equals not nearly enough sleep. Woke at 6am and pressed the Mepacs Alarm so someone, somewhere knew I’d made it through the night, barely but I did, still qualifies.

Wake up early

My carer Miss Tina arrived before 10am and I fell into the wall when I got up. Definitely not a good sign.

Washed my hair today, even though it’s not a normal day to do so. It’s going to be hot today. Wet hair will help me stay cooler. Had a light breakfast and by 12pm I went back to bed for a 25-minute power-nap. Jamima came to me straight away. I could practically hear her say. “Hey, what are you doing?”

Wash hair

I confess I growled for her to leave me alone. Slept like the dead, scrambled up, got shoes on, brushed teeth etc and got on my bike.

OK, got on Hell on Wheels and full speed ahead to my parking spot at my last appointment.


On the way, encountered a young man (child, whatever) trying to drag his dog off the High Street around the corner. The dog was trying to ‘do’ something. I slowed down enough to tell him “I hope you’re going to pick that up!” Because I could tell he had no intention of doing so.

Dog poop

He muttered something to do with my mouth. I didn’t hear but he’s lucky I was running late for my pick-up.

Had the ‘Go-Slow’ all the way. Where people are just dawdling along, taking their sweet-ass time, chatting on the phones, I had a text beeping and reminding me it was neglected, but I went knowing full well it was Young John. I was late.

I parked at the Acupuncturist, managing not to smash my head into the pole at the front. (Because I don’t see it!) Took my flag inside so it wouldn’t get stolen. Make joke to have fun with the flag in my absence. You heard me.

Need walking stick today, can’t text, too many distractions around. Walk to the designated location and see Young John is waiting for me.

Getting into taxi

Felt like a Princess as I just walked right up to the taxi, opened the door and got in. He was on the phone to one of his taxi driver buddies on speaker.

Feel like a princess

Young John spent the weekend in hospital as he had a nasty infection that required surgery and had started to go septic.

Lift to my favourite café, it’s closed until Mid-January. Damn it! But really, it’s the only time they close, find alternative.

Coffee and huge Rumball – lunch. Rumball sub-standard, sad.

Don’t people know how to make a rumball? They should not be the size of a golf ball, for starters, but onward.

Rum balls

It’s now 2pm, time to hustle to Chiropractors.

“I’m well adjusted!” Yeah, she chants…

Short walk, short tram ride. Some serious texting, another short walk. Get stabbed – eight times.

OK otherwise known as Acupuncture. Made a call (I was in a separate room today) to register my ongoing interest in a Community Housing waitlist. Took four of my own needles out as I needed to pee. Not the first time.


Scooter ride home past the scene of the earlier crime.

Sometimes, just sometimes, I want to be wrong. He did not clean up after his dog.

Stopped down the street to chat to Matt who is building the apartments. His son 21, who has Autism was also there and his carer.

Building site

Brief stop at landlords to chat to their grandkids, “What did Santa bring?” And home around 6pm. Bring in washing and water the back garden.

Now inside…

Arrive home

Today’s Lunch – 14th March 2018

Published March 14, 2018 by helentastic67

Todays lunch

Today’s lunch

Good Mental Health Day

I’ve really got to stop doing things to report on in the first half of the week! Or my lunch/good mental health day post is going to be less foodie more updatey! (It should be a word!) all I’m saying!

Good Mental Health

Monday, Public holiday did some gardening which is ironic since I live on the second floor of an apartment complex these days.


Went to a AGM on Tuesday that was over-due from last year. Started the day with a migraine ended it with an even bigger one. Not happy! But something was achieved at the meeting. Only time will tell…


Can now provide you with an ok photo of my bruises from last Tuesday’s fall. This is a week later and my left arm, you know how I have less sensation on that side, right? It still hurts! Oh, I created a new swear word today! Fairy truck! Who says Fairies don’t have trucks or drive? You never know, they might? Yes, you may use it but you can only do so if you credit Hellonwheels/Lifeonehanded.
Your welcome!

Helens arm 1

Helens arm 2









Now, today’s lunch! A Capresse pizza with side salad. With medicine and a complimentary tiramisu macaron. Yum!

Lunch 2Latte










Had my first inspection with my property manager this morning, I’ve never had a problem but I really wanted to prompt that awkward convo about when I can have a fur-baby? I thought it might go something like this “So, I really want a miniature Shetland pony. I had ponies as a child!” (Shaking head, no I didn’t) no? “How about a kitten? Maybe?” (Hopeful, raised eyebrows?)

New Furbaby
She said she would speak to the landlord.
Fingers crossed.



Happy Wednesday


Published March 12, 2018 by helentastic67



I often find how I communicate things somehow misses the mark. My mum, who I love to bits because she is my biggest supporter on Team Helen, often hears half of what I tell her and runs for the finish line, with it and then of course rants at me because she didn’t hear the rest of what I told her.

Half listening

Sometimes I will be writing about her and you will need to read between the lines because the lines because I won’t be able to say so. But not today…

Half listening 1

Today I asked my carer to take the meat off a BBQ chicken, that way I could freeze it and preserve its freshness until I needed it.

That is exactly how I communicated this task. Can you please take the meat off and keep it? No skin, no bones, no fat, Right! God help me. The barrage of questions, sometimes I go stand next to them to watch what they are doing or how they are doing it.


It may come across as intimidation, but today she was putting the skin on the bench…WFT…

Put the meat in the bowl and everything else in the bag.

Eventually standing over them, elicits the query “What? What have I done wrong?” And then at least it’s easier to tell them a ‘better’ way to do things.

Finding a better way

So, again I think I communicate things very well, people just don’t listen.

“We have two ears and one mouth. We should use them proportionately.”

Wise words from a colleague, once upon a time…



Published March 9, 2018 by helentastic67



I like to imagine I’ve mentioned it but just in case I haven’t or you missed it. I go off the grid on a Saturday.

Saturday 1

That means no mobile phone, none. No emails, hell no, no emails and no social media.

Despite the fact I’m ‘retired’, not bragging, I’m unable to do any of the things that used to pay me and I couldn’t manage what most consider ‘work’, so I am retired, but poor.


Yet I’m still busy with the phone calls organising things, the emails and the keeping tabs on other people’s ‘social media’. Damn I will never get through Facebook news feed, which I might look at twice weekly and hate myself for it later.

Doing admin

However, Saturday’s are the days I allow myself to do one of several things, I eat, I sleep and I watch some TV.

Eat sleep TV

And I repeat.

Today, I’ve mixed it up a little. After I watched ‘whatever’ show while eating breakfast, I decided part of my new routine should be to read a comic.

Read Comics

This is generally something that makes me tried anyway and I am five years (you heard) I repeat, five years behind on my comics, so I read a comic.

Everyone celebrate and do a little dance, because I can’t dance.

Celebration dance

And now sleep…

Last Friday, I went to the butchers, I don’t do it often admittedly and I normally save time be calling my guy “Jim” (OK, it the owner but still). This time I just decided to go get a ticket, stand and wait to order like everybody else.

Big Mistake…


Apart from the full body slam from behind I received from some bearded hipster dude because, I mistakenly stood near the ticket machine, I didn’t get what I asked for and of course didn’t know until I unpacked it later. The full body slam, I confess to say was the highlight of this experience, since it’s been some years since I’ve had that level of full body contact.

I know, but from a chick who chooses to be celibate, but misses all the ‘smoochie’ stuff.

Smoochie stuff

What? I’m only human…

The celibacy thing, I’m sure I’ll cover that another time, but in short if I’m single, I’m celibate and now I guess that’s done for now…

Anyway, back to the meat. I don’t know if it’s my slight facial droop or that the woman wanted to sell a more expensive product or she was just deaf but, I was sure I said – “Can I please have four snags and a half a kilo of diet mince!” And what do you think I got? I got four snags – check and half a kilo of diced beef.

four sausages

Minced beef







Diced beef

Guess I’ll be rethinking how I use it. Which includes defrosting in time for a carer to cut it smaller and perhaps a nice salad with Portuguese spices.


mmm…. Now I’m hungry…


Today’s Lunch – 3rd March 2018

Published March 7, 2018 by helentastic67

Todays lunch 0703

Today’s lunch

Good Mental Health Day

Well, briefly, shall immediately digress from standard post procedure to say people with a disability will know what it’s like when a doctor asks when was the last time you had a fall?

Dr visit

Now, I can say 6th March 2018. Yes, that’s yesterday now. I confess to say, I’m a bit of a Daisy-Grazer with my left foot. I do have a Drop Foot after all. So, my left foot swings out and while following my mum through a Freedom Homewares store in search of bathroom accessories I collected a large frame on my left, my right foot continued and when my left foot didn’t follow through, I kinda went down landing on my right knee, then my forearms. I’m lucky I didn’t hit my face or my head. All in all, not a bad effort. Looking forward to my bruises…….


The lovely office manager and mum sat with me on the floor (bit dusty) with me until I was ready to get up. I don’t love people just lifting me up, I’m stubborn and prefer help, but to get up myself, even if it is challenging, awkward looking or hurts.

getting up

Anyway, back to today’s standard offering. Ortolani with a side salad and todays medicine.












(Note todays colourful addition which my mum made. She is with me. She is camera-shy)


Happy Wednesday

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