When?

Published May 24, 2019 by helentastic67

When?

Now, bear with me, but I’m OK to take feedback on this. When is it okay for me to deliver a complete stranger a ‘Get fucked or fuck off?’

Ok, fine that by itself with no context doesn’t help so.

Whenever I go into the city, which is several times a month and this week, I’ve been in two days in a row. I cannot tell you how many times someone will cross my path from my left (my blindside) so my foot is clipped by there’s while they have their heads down looking at their phones.

‘Not cars. here we’re testing oblivious texters walking into walls.’

Everyone is so self-absorbed.

God! I sound old, don’t I?

Oh dear.

But seriously, I can’t tell you how often someone is walking from somewhere behind me on my left (and not slow down, OK?) and from nowhere, they cross right in front of me to be far over on my right and they are oblivious to anyone else around them.

Do I get to give a bit of “what-for?” Or only if they trip me over? I’m sure they wouldn’t even if they did. By an extension, they wouldn’t care.

Mostly people are walking directly at me and their eyes flick up, more likely if they hear the slap of my walking stick on the footpath and they alter their path ever so slightly to circumnavigate around me.

There are rare times when they don’t and I just stand still and brace myself. Maybe, I can give them a solidness to hit and all I have to do is plant my feet and bend my knees a little and lean into them. Never done it, but there’s a first time for everything. I’ve usually resorted to growling at people and that works a treat. I figure I could also tell people they owe me a dollar. I’m prepared to start small because I’m sure I would be rich very quickly.

But I might create a little score card.

Nearly walk into someone. $1.00

Nearly walk into someone who is on their phone. $5.00

Nearly walk into someone with head down. $10.00

Nearly get knocked over. $20.00

Get knocked over.

Get knocked over by an adult on a skateboard.

Can I pick that kid’s skateboard up and throw it in a bin?

 

7 comments on “When?

  • It might be funny to get one of those horns that honk. Tuck it under the your left arm and squeeze it just as they get too close. Then you do not need to upset your balance if you follow your regal instinct to lift your sword with your right arm (in your case walking stick) to “Knight” them.

    Liked by 2 people

  • Helen, I think you need to get serious. Sawn-off walking sticks attached to sides of chair, finely sharped to points… 😀 HAHAHAHA!!

    What’s wrong with me? I repeatedly have this fantasy of a giant metal spike that can protrude out the front of my car for people who cut me up and then just sit there at a crawl.

    I think I may be related to Boudica… 😉 xo

    https://www.britannica.com/biography/Boudicca

    Boudicca’s husband, Prasutagus, was king of the Iceni (in what is now Norfolk) as a client under Roman suzerainty. When Prasutagus died in 60 with no male heir, he left his private wealth to his two daughters and to the emperor Nero, trusting thereby to win imperial protection for his family. Instead, the Romans annexed his kingdom, humiliated his family, and plundered the chief tribesmen. While the provincial governor Suetonius Paulinus was absent in 60 or 61, Boudicca raised a rebellion throughout East Anglia. The insurgents burned Camulodunum (Colchester), Verulamium (St. Albans), the mart of Londinium (London), and several military posts. According to the Roman historian Tacitus, Boudicca’s rebels massacred 70,000 Romans and pro-Roman Britons and cut to pieces the Roman 9th Legion. Paulinus met the Britons at a point thought to be near present-day Fenny Stratford on Watling Street and regained the province in a desperate battle. Upon her loss, Boudicca either took poison or died of shock or illness.

    Liked by 1 person

  • Whilst riding my scooter, I’ve got angry looks directed at me by people who are going faster and getting in my path. Thus, I try to avoid busy places. I cannot imagine how it is for you navigating the city…

    Like

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