Hell on Wheels

All posts in the Hell on Wheels category

Get on with it

Published January 18, 2018 by helentastic67

Get on with it

Get on with it

Fuck the whole world!!!!

I wanna get off! Oh, wait my bad. The time is “Stop the world I wanna get off!”

Stop the world

Been dealing with all the usual shit lately and because there’s no point talking about it, because I can’t change any of it. (I’ve been too busy just dealing with it) I basically, event to the head down/ bum up and get on with it.

Head down

I’m not saying it’s worked super well in the past however it’s my default mechanism.

Miracles

 

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Bikini Body

Published January 15, 2018 by helentastic67

Bikini Body

Bikini Body

I had gone into the kitchen to make a cuppa T and put the dishwasher on.

Jamima follows

Human in kitchen, must be feed-again.

“Meow” the sweet sound of encouragement.

Wanting food

To which I reply…

“Yes, I know, we’ve had this conversation. Tell me what you want and I’ll give it to you”

From the other room, my mum laughs.

Today I was describing to another friend with cats and that Jamima has been very fussy lately with her food. I describe it as ‘she’s’ trying to get her bikini body back again.

No Longer bikini body

Then I stated she needs to accept for both of us, our bikini bodies are behind both of us.

There is no going back.

It’s over…

Jamima

 

Hidden Pain

Published January 12, 2018 by helentastic67

Hidden Pain 1

Hidden Pain

Some people are really quite oblivious to the strain and pain on my body when I’m out and about because despite my walking stick and my left arm being in a sling (collar and cuff) and that I’m out of the house, it’s presumed I’m always wandering around with a smile on my face.

Walking stick and sling

In reality, sleep or lack thereof means my left leg works even less than “I make It” and the eyesight in my left eye is worse than people would realise.

Often what I carry and how it affects my mobility even more.

In my own backyard, even moving a few small terracotta pots around means my left hip hurts! WTF! I don’t even use my left side to do anything, so I’ve asked an OT/Physio what that is all about and she had no words of wisdom for me.

Small Terracotta Pots

Yesterday, I went to the city, I travel by car to a train station closer to the city, then a train from there.

When I’m out and about my ‘handbag’ (hate the term) is a large street-wear bag with the clash on it. (I just like the image) the strap on the bag hangs from my left shoulder and the bag sits on my right hip and gluts as in Gluteus Maximus. If I buy something when I’m out, it must fit in that bag. If I can’t carry it, I can’t buy it…

But yesterday, I also had to transport a delivery of Ginger Kisses. I have a cool bag, big enough for six cans (so Australian for those serious drinkers; not me, other people) and in it were 2 large ice blocks (heavy) and 30 Ginger Kisses (cool).

Ginger Kisses

I got out of the car at the train station carrying the walking stick and the cool bag and walked the twenty metres to the train platform without the aid of the stick.

I missed the train by “that much”. A train station staff member told me I’d missed it. No shit Sherlock! Because he hadn’t held it for me for two seconds despite my efforts.

Missed Train

So, I asked him to help me put the cool bag on better. I gave him both the stick and the cool bag. I eased the two loops of the collar and cuff down over my hand and proceeded to have him put the handle of the bag on my arm up under my elbow. The collar and cuff goes back on and keeps the bag from slipping down.

The weight of the bag hangs by my side and doesn’t obstruct the forward motion of my left leg.

On the train to the city I often find myself eating my breakfast. Vegemite and cheese on toasted bread. Good breakfast for on the go, not great every day.

Cheese and Vegemite

I got to the city, scooped up my coffee in my keep cup in Degraves Street and got to the AGM for the Self Advocacy group I’m part of. There was only one table at the front that four people were to sit at in a ‘panel formation’.

Degraves St

I put my bags down and looked around. No-one! So, I dragged a table over. At which point my left hip is hurting. Seriously, don’t know what it’s complaining about when it does nothing.

Had the meeting.

Did some serious walking.

More serious walking.

Walking

More serious walking.

It’s now been several weeks since I started this post. I think I got lost in the details. Relevant details, but today I was off to the city again with that damn cool bag.

Cooler bags

I realised how the added weight changes how I move and balance and the impact on just walking by the end of the day…

Hidden Pain

Stalker

Published January 8, 2018 by helentastic67

Stalker

Stalker

Today’s post is bought to you by Hikaru. Please send him a big hello in the form of a Like.

He is currently vacationing at a vet on a drip because he was found Saturday on the back veranda after suffering a snake bite. An hour-long drive to a decent vet and he has only 6 lives left. He was given the anti-Venom and put on a drip but his brother Karou is missing his brother.

Hikaru

Hikaru is getting a reputation as the walking vet bill, such is his habit of getting injured. He was only under house arrest over Christmas with a missing claw and infection and the short-term nickname of Thumper, dragging around his back foot heavily bandaged. Damn cat!
Here is a picture of the 2 brothers……..

Brothers

Now back to my normal post…

Have I mentioned my Landlady has the stalker gene? She likes to bring the secateurs down and poke at the roses while she stares at my front door.

Roses

I, of course am seeing her do this from my seat on the couch in the lounge. I have lace curtains. The horror! Right? I always said I’d never have them, but I like my privacy too much.

Lace Curtains

Stupid Landlady did nothing about the black spot on the roses, I did spray them a few weeks back but, I have yet to go back out and pull off all the infected leaves.

She chose not to notice the lawns are getting to be a jungle. They originally would mow them, themselves, but they have decided they are too old to do it.

Lawn

Jack the nice guy who does it now is older than they are. He’s a Jack of all trades because he replaced my front lounge blinds…

Jack of all trades

Cheers,
H

 

Alone

Published January 5, 2018 by helentastic67

Alone

Alone

There is nothing like a letter in the mail box that reminds you how alone you are in the world, to set you down a path of depression.

Every year, at my birthday I receive a card from Mepacs, it’s signed by all the ‘staff’ that work for them.

Birthday Card

Remember Mepacs…..

Mepacs

And I am very well aware the staff signed a card which was sent to the printers to use as a template or “whatever” and then they printed off 50 thousand printed birthday cards and then one eventually gets sent to me.

Some of the facts and figures there might be a little off, however the facts remain the same. With the card came a letter basically asking for an update of my contacts.

Contact details

Now, the first point of call, if I don’t hit the button by 9.30am in the morning is ME! I know, it sounds a little ridiculous. But my ‘in case of emergency’ contacts are my mum (3.5 hours away) and this letter reminded me I need to contact person is within thirty minutes from me.

Emergency Contact

I don’t have anyone….

Alone and Depressed

Fair

Published December 29, 2017 by helentastic67

Fair

Fair

I guess ‘Fair’ is something impressed upon us as children. I’m of a generation where I have an older sister by a few years and had cousins around my age. We all grew up spending time playing together, so the concept of what is ‘fair was instilled in us.

Be fair! Share your toys! Don’t hit your sister! (sorry, got carried away)

But let’s face it, when you’re all grown up, let’s hope the ‘ethics’ that were instilled in us at a young age stayed with us, because that concept of ‘Fair!’ takes on a mute-point because, let’s face it.

LIFE WASN’T MEANT TO BE CHEESY! (Easy)

Life isnt easy

As an adult, you learn that shit things follow more shit things. There is no one to blame for the bad-stuff.

Bad things happen

I have a belief in Karma and some other ‘things’ and I often question if I was an Outright Cow in a previous life, but that can’t be right, I’m rarely a cow in this life, I think perhaps in this life just got

THE SHAFT!

Karma

Now let’s talk about the concept of ‘fair’ in the world of funding…. Yeah! Like it’s even a thing?

I’ve heard of stories of people having a house worth $500,000 and other parents of kids with funding making sure their child (now an adult) has a brand new 3-bedroom apartment in some beachside suburb of Melbourne, bought for them.

Parents

Now, said ‘child’ will never be able to earn the kind of money required to own such a property, however said ‘child’ has also never lived out of home. Where’s my Goddamn property?

I understand no funding in the world will buy me the great Australian Dream, but still!

Things my NDIS won’t cover and why…..

My monthly appointment to my shrink (OK, Psychologist, but semantics)

I’ve been seeing my chiropractors weekly, weekly, sometimes twice weekly for ten years. Never going to be fixed and because I self-fund, because I had no choice.

So, ergo they consider they don’t need to fund these things.

I didn’t have a need for these things before my diagnosis or my disability and these two things alone, if I hadn’t prioritised to pay for them both, I WOULD NOT BE HERE!

There are many other things I needed the NDIA to fund, but my review is in three months so, I guess that shall have to wait.

NDIS review

Limits

Published December 27, 2017 by helentastic67

Limits

Limits

With the possible exception of relationships with boyfriends in recent years, I’ve learnt my limit for dealing with bullshit or ‘whatever’ is four years.

There are some houses I’ve lived in for four years and I’ve moved when landlords wanted to renovate and sell, or just sell. I’ve now been where I am for four years and about to sign a lease for a fifth year. The last three years, the rent has been inching upwards to ridiculous.

Landlord

But to other things, such as my voluntary efforts, I generally throw myself in and do that original assessment.

  • What am I doing?
  • What needs doing?
  • What needs to change so I can do this?
  • What can or do we need to achieve by being here?
  • Is it achievable?
  • Am I being respected and supported?

When you put it into those terms, four years seems like a long time, right? So, it is with great frustration at this year’s AGM of the Self Advocacy group, I’m part of that I’m resigning from my role as Treasurer.

Self advocacy

I’m not a quitter generally, so it really leaves me unsatisfied and frustrated and grumpy.

No quitter

Next!

 

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