Life

Published May 12, 2017 by helentastic67

Life

Life

If you’re not living; You’re just waiting to die. I’m often forced to re-evaluate what life is all about.

My dreams

I used to think life would be about having my own family, my ideal picture more recently being a husband and cat and dog. A mortgage (likely) a career, a business of some sort and enough freedom to afford a holiday to foreign shores every now and again.

crazy disability

Since my diagnosis and then my disability, some of these things have faded from being possibilities or a reality?

In many ways, I do feel like I’m just passing time and I’m not sure what life is meant to be about, in the big scheme of things. I’m still trying to make a difference every day with the little things I do and the everyday interactions, but right now I’m wondering what I should be doing differently so I’m not found months or years after I pass away, unnoticed by the world in my armchair as an old lady surrounded by 20 hungry cats…

Cat lady

Who You Gonna Call?

Published May 10, 2017 by helentastic67

ghostbusters_who_you_gonna_call

Who Can You Call

No, it’s not Ghostbusters, if you’re feeling down, who could you really call if you need talking off a ledge? If you were to really think about it, I have both parents still. Not complaining, they are still around and I have two sisters, an older, who lives an hour away and a younger sister who lives with our mum again, 3 ½ hours away.

My older sister, I won’t even send a Facebook request because it would hang in limbo.

My mum and younger sister, I can’t call when Masterchef is on, or Survivor, or even Bachelor. I can’t call before midday and I can’t call certain days of the week after 7pm. They work odd hours and sleep worse hours than me and there seems to be an all-round they don’t want to hear from me, so I don’t bother.

Masterchef

Had a call with mum today with my Case Manager here and the call went surprisingly well. I was eating my breakfast at the time so had to be very patient. We were collectively discussing my application for the NDIS. Occasionally when my mum got distracted by the “problems” and couldn’t get to a solution, I found my words.

Phone conversation

I finished the call with my usual sign-off “Love you and leave you” and my mum gave me the phone equivalent of a “whatever”.

Hanging up I shared a moment with my Case Manager that he understood my pain and yet, if I need “talking off a ledge” my mum would want to hear from me.

My advice to anyone, if you’re feeling down, if you’re having a hard time call someone.

Feeling down

Don’t do anything stupid, just call someone. Start a conversation and if you’re that person someone calls and you don’t know what to say? Just say something.

Sometimes, it’s OK if you don’t know what to say, just talk, give them company.

Having said all of that, there is a rare evening the phone rings after midnight and I laugh when I answer. She asks “is it too late?”

I laugh again.

It’s often a very prompt, matter of fact call. Which is fine.

By that time, I’m trying to wind down and arguments don’t help.

Midnight call

Hot off the Press – 8th May 2017

Published May 8, 2017 by helentastic67

Hot of the Press

Ready! Set! Go!

Osteo Remedial/Mio. Chiropractor/Acupuncture. (B.T. Dubs, it’s called Wednesday, commonly referred to as my Punchy/Stabby Day!) Physio. Completely missed lunch 2 or 3 days this week. Mum was down from Monday Night & 2 nights we were up doing ‘Someone else” Job so late I got to sleep around 3am.

Chiropractor

Gave mum her early Mother’s Day gift. A cute little teddy bear I hid between her pillow and the doona in the spare bedroom. It has a little button on its Tummy and when you press it a child-like voice says “I love you Mum!” She was very coy but I think she really liked it because that night I thought she would wear out the battery. Totally worth it!

Mothers day

But we got there. Even made a decent frittata this week, haven’t made one in years and visited the local pet shop. The only furry beast in residence was Vigaro, a somewhat friendly young male with black and white fur, some cute black marking on its mouth. The pet shop always has one cat from Maneki.Neko Cat Rescue Neko.org.au. (Check it out)

He loved a good head rub from me and Mum even had a cuddle. This visit came about because it looks like I’m not moving any time soon. Not much around and none of it very nice in my price-range. so, why am I waiting to get my new In-House Mental Health Care Provider?

Black and white cat

Well, I could afford the $120 cost of a fully vet-checked fur-child but, not the cost of the food & kitty litter as I returned or gifted every bit I had 6 weeks ago. Meanwhile Vigaro bit my Mum…..Hope he finds a nice home all the same. I have also created the very short Pro’s (versus Con’s) list of not having a cat! I only spent $50 on people food last Friday.

Managed to catch up on some admin today. Even read a comic. (only one this week) in the constant battle to clear my couch which is more like my in-tray. Received some emails from some blogger colleagues this week which was lovely, wondering who is responsible for the T-Birds & Purple Tree’s posts from some time ago (You know who you are!) and when I might see another?

At the age of 40 my mum finally got around to making her second daughter a quilt! My mum is a Mad Quilter. Ok, she says passionate, I say Mad! Same/Same! That was four years ago it’s finally been on my bed for the last 2 nights! Couldn’t have had the quilt on my bed with Jamima……she was a scratcher, when it came to bedding.

Quilt

Have been watching Homeland and 13 reasons why, the second reminding me of the painful years of High School. Not quite finished, so no spoilers please!  Would be a great soundtrack.

Wondering if these Hot off the press updates work for people? I enjoy the routine & that it works out to be current for everyone however I find as life is always busy I make the excuse not to prioritise some time to write down other ideas into actual laid-out posts.

Feel free to comment & provide feedback? Please keep it positive?

It’s the start of a new week all over again!

New week

Census

Published May 5, 2017 by helentastic67

Census 1

Census

Going back in time to the Australian Census…

Well tonight, sorry last night was Census night! I’m going to presume you know what that is?

I made a joke to Noelle tonight that I turned away a booty call to make filling in my Census form easier. But as I said that was a joke.

Booty call

Ten years ago, when I had the best housemate ever, previously mentioned as ‘B’ (Fred’s been overworked).

At the time, I worked in Admin and B was a roadie. We both sat on the couch on Census night and handed the form back and forth taking our responsibility, seriously. It hard to justify and explain what you do for a living when you make people do work for the dole.

Job description

Answer phones, encourage client to attend, set up sponsors, host and negotiate with other Government agencies. Basically, make unemployed people do things they don’t want to.

How to describe what a roadie does? We learnt to simplify.

Lift heavy things!

Lift heavy things

12.53am

Published May 3, 2017 by helentastic67

12.53am

12.53am

So, my day is still going! I’ve been writing for a few hours, inspired to write about the day and while on a tangent getting through the backlog that has been plaguing me.

creative-writing-final-meme

I write when inspired and I write when I’ve got stuff to say and it all seems to come together at the right time.

Feel free to ask questions and I can see if I can get to them.

Asking questions

Hot off the Press – 1st May 2017

Published May 1, 2017 by helentastic67

Here is the news 010517

Shock horror! I’ve kept to the self-challenge of a weekly post fresh from my brain to the iPad to Noelle. Woo-hoo!

We have had two long weekends in a row, one was thanks to Good Friday and last Tuesday was due to ANZAC Day.

Good Friday

In very simple terms I found myself explaining to one of my two youngest carers the significance of this day admittedly, this carer is not Australian born.

Anzac Day

ANZAC day is when we commemorate/celebrate the Australian and New Zealand diggers efforts in WW1, now 102 years ago. To be completely fair, it’s been pointed out to me I would not pass an immigration test on some Australian topics and I was born here. But I had to explain to said young carer they would not cancel or postpone the March through the city because of a little rain. Rain was the least of the problems faced the day they landed in Gallipoli.

This year they emphasised the younger generation of soldiers who seem to be over-looked despite them dealing with fresh PTSD and re-entering society. And there is no excuse, we now know these things exist.

My two youngest carers these days are both half my age, I occasionally have to remind them and thank them for making me feel sooooo old!

This weekend I dug out some clothes from my former lives working in clubs and an office environment. I have not been a size “tiny” formerly known as “petite” for some years. It’s not like I would ever wear them again, it’s just been a process of letting them go. Maybe after a wash, iron and photographing I can sell them online. Worn by people far, far away and I can continue living in the style that I have become accustomed to.

Petite

Haven’t seen any new properties this week. We started the week feeling a little like summer wasn’t completely over and by Wednesday it was ‘full winter! What just happened?’ So yes, the woolens are now out!

Oh, this week despite getting back into my baking and my plan for World Domination through people’s stomachs, I put a rib out!

rib out

Did you hear me? I put a rib out…….oh, how I hear you ask? Well, I get to ride shotgun when ever in a car, due to motion sickness dating back to day dot! And because it’s more room? This means in OZ, I sit in the front on the left. My left arm doesn’t work, so I twist and reach with my right arm to close the door. That’s how I do it.

My chiropractor puts it back in. First on my back, then the front. Finally putting some tape on my ribs under my left ‘girl’ (breast) it both tickles and hurts.

Lastly, I have felt Jamima’s presence (if you believe in that kind of thing) several times since her parting. Most recently, this morning, while I was in bed trying to sleep. A pressure of the blankets pushing down against my legs. My shins to be more exact. I didn’t move, but accepted the presence to be her checking in on me. One of my blogger cohorts said good bye to their Rumpydog last week bringing it all back. At least Meimi now has the husky dog keeping her company up there.

Rumpy Dog

Nearly midnight, must be time to single task!

Lots of love

#braininjury Q and A for today

Published April 29, 2017 by helentastic67

What he said!

Broken Brain - Brilliant Mind

head with brain opening and question marks coming outLooking at my site stats, here are some questions people asked or things they searched on — and then found their way to this blog.

  • are some people wired for failure

I think some people may be. I know people who cannot seem to help making one bad choice after another, who can’t seem to avoid screwing up, time and time again. “Failure” is relative, of course. If you look at all of your life experience as a series of opportunities to learn, failure is a great way to learn more than you ever thought possible. People who succeed at everything they do, don’t get the benefit of the lessons that come from failing to achieve your goals. Then again, some people never seem to learn. They seem almost addicted to messing up, and there’s not much you can do, when someone is in that state of mind. Of course…

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