Alone

All posts tagged Alone

Alone

Published March 15, 2019 by helentastic67

Alone

Alone

Every night I sit on my couch with my cordless phone, on the off chance a family member thinks to give me a call. But do they? NO.

Sitting on couch 1

Social media is the same, I message a friend and I’m lucky if they reply, I realise I like to book a committed catch up to see people. Coffee, lunch, a film maybe. Something? But I can be content with a reply, a reply and telling me what you are doing is still nice.

Sitting on couch

It’s not lost on me that others are busy, they have all the things I don’t. Family, a significant other, kids, no kids. For crying out loud. I get it. I am without a job, a mortgage, holidays to plan.

Things I dont have

Would it kill people to send me a message? I initiate all contact with friends. I have friends that are tired and busy and they still make time for me, for lunch or something. When I see them, they commit to being sociable with me. We have enthusiastic, intellectual conversations. It is nice, it is rare.

Intelligent Conversation

I completely get that people think I’m bitching, whinging and moaning, because they only ever see me when I’m at my best. They only see me ‘smash-it-out’ they don’t see me when simply rolling over in bed makes me want to hurl.

Bitching and Moaning

Alone

Published January 5, 2018 by helentastic67

Alone

Alone

There is nothing like a letter in the mail box that reminds you how alone you are in the world, to set you down a path of depression.

Every year, at my birthday I receive a card from Mepacs, it’s signed by all the ‘staff’ that work for them.

Birthday Card

Remember Mepacs…..

Mepacs

And I am very well aware the staff signed a card which was sent to the printers to use as a template or “whatever” and then they printed off 50 thousand printed birthday cards and then one eventually gets sent to me.

Some of the facts and figures there might be a little off, however the facts remain the same. With the card came a letter basically asking for an update of my contacts.

Contact details

Now, the first point of call, if I don’t hit the button by 9.30am in the morning is ME! I know, it sounds a little ridiculous. But my ‘in case of emergency’ contacts are my mum (3.5 hours away) and this letter reminded me I need to contact person is within thirty minutes from me.

Emergency Contact

I don’t have anyone….

Alone and Depressed

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