My Best Advice

My Best Advice

Last week at a meeting I contributed my Hot Tip for how I managed to get through the Plague in the last few years. Now it received rave reviews, but I feel like it will be passed on to the intended third party without my name attached. Call me crazy but I like to be given credit where credit is due.

So, well they failed to remember Hell’s got a BLOG! So, I’ll just beat them to it.

My advice –

I thought of friends that might have been more isolated than I was or coping with all the lockdown stuff in Melbourne and all the social isolations, and I rang them, I reached out. I just talked about whatever, and I know the people I chose to do this with appreciated me doing so.

Ironically, because everyone always assumes Hell’s doing OK, no one ever thinks to check on me.

Who Am I?

Who am I?

My name is Helen, I started blogging in 2015. Since then, I’ve written over 600+ blog posts and acquired over 280 followers all around the world.

I’ve really let my blog speak for itself and not really marketed myself in any commercial way to gain a larger following.

Pre-Covid I was sharing three posts a week. Hellonwheels, is me doing brain injury differently. I’ve had my brain injury for over 48 years, only learning I even had my Arterial Venous Malformation (AVM) at aged 34 when I was really stressed, as a result of workplace bullying. After diagnosis and treatment, I have been left with stroke like symptoms.

It’s not easy being a high-functioning Acquired Brain Injury (ABI) and it’s even harder to explain. I have a good memory, a love for music and food – things some people with brain injuries can’t enjoy.

I’m a single-barren spinster, often including further descriptions, straight and fucking fussy!

I have strong opinions, which may or may not appeal to everyone. This is why I include stories of my past, little moments of life, foodie posts and beautiful things from nature. 

Life is short and often few moments or opportunities go past, so I try to share the ones that I have.

I hope you will take a moment to look up Like, Share and Follow. 

Blog Writing

Blog Writing

As per usual, I’ve neglected my blog writing for a little while, as I’ve been busy with all the mundane weekly appointments and carer shifts, I forget to A) Socialize and B) Catch up on my blog writing.

By then, I’m still not caught up on the ‘old’ stuff I want to write about and then I’ve scraped the surface on those things, leaving more unsaid than said.

The Social life stuff leads to needing to write.

This is not the retirement I had in mind. I had to flip over my notebook and start from the back. I’m going to struggle to go back to the train of thought I’ve started at the front, but …..Onwards.

Charge!

 

Why I Blog

Why I Blog?

If you have been wondering with a weird array of randomness, what Hellonwheels is all about? Wait no longer, this is why, here is the answer.

Since my diagnosis in 2007? (I don’t know! It’s been a blur) I’ve met many people with ABI/TBI/general fuckwit-ism and it has led me to query, what means what?

Example;

When I first started going to ABI groups socially, because society loves to put you in contact with people with the “same” issues you have. (Please note eye-roll!) I walked in and young men and old flocked towards me, I felt like a Spice Girl in the mid-90’s. One guy, let’s call him ‘Fred’ (because it’s been a while) made it clear to take me under his wing. We got chatting, as you do and as you do you talk about your life before the ABI.

I mentioned my Club years and that’s always a big topic. But, push came to shove and after a little young woman joined us and I was introduced. Lovely younger lady, also with an ABI. Make mental note; got to be careful or might end up ‘paired-up’ with another numpty like me before long if I’m not careful. I didn’t say this reason/story would be simple so stay with me.

Totally worth it, Promise.

Over time, I participated in activities at this group and I supported people and they supported me, so all is well. Became friends with Fred and others outside this group. (it’s inevitable: stuff sticks sometimes) Fred had gotten his TBI from pure fuckwitedness (as I like to consider it) his girlfriend was lucky to be alive having been hit by a car crossing the street. But, unlike her boyfriend, she had not had a typical young adult life, like he had, had before his TBI, because she had, had hers at 17 years-old.

He also liked to bond with me because I had been ‘there’ (Clubs/parties) and I remember it. I wasn’t drunk and off my face like nearly everyone else.

Overtime, I became a bit more of a mentor to Fred. I was friendly to his girlfriend, also she was none the wiser. He was also finding excuses to visit socially. FYI: I don’t socialize at 11pm at night, that’s my time.

He even had a gay friend drop him over for a coffee one afternoon on a weekend and I was told to ‘look’ after him.

I hope you are getting that he seemed to have told people, I might have been a potential ‘whatever/girlfriend’ when in reality it was always a HELL NO.

I decided to discuss this situation with a friend who worked in the industry who was familiar with all of us and our past history etc, her advice to me was.

‘Oh, you should go out with him, because before his ABI, he had four or five girlfriends at a time. Now he’s only got one or two.’

WTF!

Um, I hope you realise, I would not have dated more than one guy at a time before my diagnosis, let alone date a guy who thought he could date more than one woman at a time, I certainly wouldn’t now.

I am also aware I am no longer some Jennifer Hawkins type, now or before my disability, however I’m still not prepared to lower my standards and just accept some broken bit of road kill.

Make mental note: Explain Helen’s definition of Road Kill later.

So, back to my point. Yes, apparently it is said, people retain their personality after their ABI/TBI what did I call it? That they had before their (as above).

Now, this is why I blog.

If I’ve always had my ABI (AVM), have I developed this personality, because of my AVM or despite my AVM?

BAM! There I’ve done it.

Administrator!

Administrator!

So, sometimes I want to post a blog, just so I can tell people of my accomplishments. And I can but by the time you hear about them a month or more would have come to pass, but it’s the perfect Segway to me telling you about my process and intern my wonderful administrator.

My process starts with me trying to practice “mindfulness”.

Sometimes I’m waiting for the right thing to happen to trigger a post coming together, just right in my mind. I like to write with pen and paper. Old school.

Then, because of my many issues or deficits, whatever I have been stuck with that for about 5 years that I’ve been planning this blog and talking about it.

And I guess it’s taken a while for a few things to fall into place. Admittedly I was slow to get on the Social Media thing, and a bit longer to be introduced to the right person.

And that is how I met my Administrator!

She is my wizard who made my blog become a reality. More of this hero in a moment, but first I write long hand, copy and post about once a month. So far (Scanned once and emailed) and send to someone in Sydney who types my blog posts up, emails to me for final editing and then after she does some final searching for pictures and some networking “she posts”.

And she be my friend Noelle. And I’m not sure how much I’m allowed to tell you about her, so will pause here…..

Sometimes, I want to brag about the things I’ve just achieved, one-handed, but now there is no time.

I often debrief via text to check in with him.

Sometimes they go something like this;

“Had Chiro and Acupuncture today. And if I had a husband I’d be all over that as well!”

Over time I will tell you of my friends. I hope you will understand more about me and what I value by the friends I keep.

Also don’t be confused by the dates on my posts. I am a prolific writer and have been preparing and writing for this blog for years, so at times I will pull something out of my archives.

If and when I do it will be because it’s still current.

Or I’m still really angry about it….