If you’re not living; You’re just waiting to die. I’m often forced to re-evaluate what life is all about.
I used to think life would be about having my own family, my ideal picture more recently being a husband and cat and dog. A mortgage (likely) a career, a business of some sort and enough freedom to afford a holiday to foreign shores every now and again.
Since my diagnosis and then my disability, some of these things have faded from being possibilities or a reality?
In many ways, I do feel like I’m just passing time and I’m not sure what life is meant to be about, in the big scheme of things. I’m still trying to make a difference every day with the little things I do and the everyday interactions, but right now I’m wondering what I should be doing differently so I’m not found months or years after I pass away, unnoticed by the world in my armchair as an old lady surrounded by 20 hungry cats…
Pets really can be a great source of relief from Mental Health issues. This is a perfect example of why I love my cat! You Bastard Cat! Noelle told me of this term, so credit where credit is due…
These days, my cat Jamina ‘Patch the Pirate Cat’, Puddle duck will follow me around our home. My movements are pretty standard, bed or couch and during winter, Jamina watches a single bed doona with a polar fleece cover to see where that is going. If I’m moving around the house doing something, but the doona is still on the bed, she parks there knowing full well sooner or later I will go back to bed. She stays there, gets comfortable and sleeps to wait and yes, cats sleep.
I think Jamina thinks she’s a person. Probably because I sleep a lot and I’m probably a bit cat!
These days, despite having a dining table, I eat my meals on the couch. I know it sounds bad, but I have had times when I’ve had every meal on the weekend in bed.
There are times I get to the couch with dinner a little late. My computer sits hooked up to the TV with a HDMI cable. Because reading is migraine inducing, I will watch a show. Being one handed, it’s nice to watch something without ads, so I put on a TV show, so I could single task, but have some company. The show started and Jamina joined me on the couch. The TV was emblazoned with the words “SIX MONTHS LATER!”
And it stayed there the longest time!
Looking at Jamina I discovered she was sitting on the Wi-Fi mouse! UBC!
Meet Jamima ‘Patch the Pirate Cat’ Puddleduck!
So called for my patchy left eye & my pen chance for sitting on shoulders(until Uncle B comes along, his shoulder h helps me get higher)
I’m the mental Healthcare Provider for a Crazy Cat-Lady. Housemates, boyfriends & even Uncle B have come & gone but my Mum keeps up with the Tuesday Tummy Rub’s!
There are many examples, I will give where you would imagine, just because I have a disability and because someone collects a wage from a job where they provide a service to those with a disability that you would be treated with respect and provided the services they are entitled to.
I hope my blog over time will express my experience of this sector and that if it is challenging to give a client/patient/customer, what they need then, it’s ok to withhold a service, not delivered a service or just outright bully so you will stop asking.
There are times now, how I’m treated, is outright shocking! And I’m someone who knows what’s going on and how to organise my life and my needs and my services and I dread to think how the people who can’t self-advocate get treated.
I once received a call offering me Public Housing. I know these calls are often met with jubilation and great relief, but I often get a little grumpy and demand “Yes? Where is it?”
Even my friends no longer get excited anymore and demand to be told “Where is it?” On this occasion they building was a new apartment block and the gentleman on the phone after selling me the fact that it was fully functioning, disability friendly bathroom. He told me I couldn’t take my cat!
I am not one to smuggle my fur-baby into my home. People have to know I come with a cat!
I’ve had good house-mates and shitty house-mates. I’ve had shitty boyfriends. Shitty because they are not still here.
I’ve had shitty friends and good friends. All in the last 16 years. They have all come and gone and are no longer here.
The fur-baby is still here!
I often go days without seeing another human being. So my cat is not an optional housemate. I told the gentleman, my cat didn’t cope without me and I didn’t cope without her.
HE TOLD ME TO HAVE HER PUT DOWN!
Now I think you can now tell when I used the term ‘gentleman’ I was being very generous!