Crying

All posts tagged Crying

Twenty – Three

Published March 4, 2019 by helentastic67

Twenty Three

Twenty-Three

Today, I’m going to take everyone back in a time capsule or a time travelling machine to when I was about twenty-three.

Time machine

Ah, good times, right? Well, we shall see. I’ll let you decide.

As you know, when I was younger in my twenties, I worked in nightclubs in Melbourne. Until recently, I thought I’d worked in clubs for a whole ten years, but when I did some ‘hard maths’ I realized it was only five years.

Nightclub

My club ‘work’ (it’s still the right team if my output of hours and efforts did not equal my income) was several day’s a week and as many night’s as 2-5 nights a week. Despite my best efforts, at one point I found myself without a roof over my head. I had been living with my older sister and when we finished the lease on a house, she found a place quickly and moved out and then I struggled.

Homeless

Apparently, it’s really hard to imagine when I said ‘I don’t drink, so won’t becoming home drunk and vomiting’ and don’t lay around all day is not much of a sales pitch when promoting one’s self as a prospective housemate to strangers.

Looking for a new home

Having a good club network of friends, I managed to find a space on someone’s lounge floor for a small amount of money so I wasn’t out on the street.

Living on the lounge

These kids were younger than me and the meals I cooked and shared were the only meals I saw concocted from their kitchen. Needless to say, I maintained my day/night sleep deprived routine.

Sleep deprived

After a month or all of my house-hunting efforts and my day/night work routine, the kids I stayed with asked me to go stay elsewhere, as the landlord (one of the girl’s father) didn’t want me there.

House Hunting

On the Tuesday, my day routine of distributing night club passes, took me to Chapel Street South Yarra and Greville Street Prahan. I dropped into visit my sister, who worked in that area. She gave me a very hard time, that I hadn’t found anywhere to live.

Sisters

I then ran into my cousin with her shopping bags of groceries. I was so happy to see a friendly face. I asked her to go get a coffee with me, as my sister had so upset me. When I saw her friendly face, I burst in to tears. When she went to put her groceries in the car and come back to me, the weirdest thing happened.

crying

I got a splitting migraine and plus I peed my pants. What? I know!

Briefly, visited the café to use the toilet, then my cousin gave me a lift back to where I was staying. I made it inside feeling very seedy. I hadn’t eaten all day, other than my spirulina (for breakfast). The toilet was occupied, so I threw up on the carpet. What? Are you not meant to do it there?

Feeling seedy

Have you ever had a headache so bad you couldn’t make a simple decision not to throw up green spirulina on cream carpet? Yeah! It was that bad.

Bad Headache

I made it into the toilet only to collapse on the floor, one of my temporary house-mates actually had to come into the small toilet to lift me and get me out, because I just couldn’t move.

Collapse on floor

Thankfully, they put me to bed, closed the blinds and turned off the light and with a little instruction from me they rang my mum.

Call Mum

To this day, when the shit hits the fan, I call my mum. Have I mentioned, I love my mum?

Love Mum

Mum was on the road within an hour to come get me. Back then, mum still living in my home town in the North East of Victoria. So it took her three hours to get to me and once I was bundled in the front seat with a bucket (that I don’t remember using) we headed back home for another three hours. I don’t recall having much to say all the way home.

Mum to the rescue

Now, to be clear, at the time we put my migraine down to MSG food poisoning as it was and still to this day, THE WORST MIGRAINE I’VE EVER HAD.

Worst Migraine

I was bedridden for a week and I didn’t eat. I remember visits to a chiropractor most days and on one visit being muscle tested to work out what I could eat. One morning mum insisted I eat and she bought in some green grapes. Good, right?

Bed ridden

Mmmmm, we arrived at the chiropractor’s office, not far from mum’s in time for me to fling open the car door and deliver those grapes onto his driveway. A woman was doing her gardening and commented I really needed to see the chiropractor.

Chiropractor

One morning mum insisted I get in the shower, I remember getting into the small shower and just standing there unable to move. Eventually, mum came to help me. Did I mention I love my mum?

Assist in shower

During that week, you might wonder whey my mum didn’t take me to a doctor or emergency room? Yu know, those moments when you realise a ‘higher power’ (I refer to it as The Universe looking after me. I have few Catholic types who follow my blog) they will think it was odd but anyway. Every time my mum went to call the hospital or the doctor, they were engaged, so we got the message not to go.

Call Doctor

I did notice my head hurt less when I rested it on one side less than the other. Weird right? After a week, I all of a sudden felt a little better, at least good enough to eat something. What did I eat first? I’m such a wog, Salami, then Cabana, OMG I think mum thought I’d be sick, since I’d not eaten for a week.

Such a wog

I remember being very slow to get my energy back, all in all I stayed with mum and my younger sister a whole month. My older sister visited once, insisting I was being lazy and to get my arse back to Melbourne to get a job, so I could find a place to live.

Being Lazy

While at home, you might wonder if I heard from any of my club friends, since I would normally be there from opening (10pm) until the end (5am), I was usually out in those days from anything from 2-5 nights a week. One night, I started to my ‘good-byes’ to friends far earlier than normal and one guy asked me if I was dying. I’d had a cold, Ok. Can’t a girl go home early once in a while?

Have a cold

Correct! No one called me while I was sick to ask how I was. Admittedly, it was before the era of everyone having a mobile phone.

No one called

Interestingly, the Universe really was looking after me while at the time we thought it was MSG food poisoning, after my diagnosis, when I was thirty-four, one of the specialists I went to, was in Sydney and the young lady (who actually hailed from Melbourne) suggested back when I was twenty-three, I likely had a bleed or a leak from my AVM.

AVM

My mother and I agree if I’d been diagnosed back when I was twenty-three, the hospital I was born at in the country, would have had the attitude of ‘No Worries, we can fix that’ and it would have been the worst experience of a guinea pig ever.

No worries

Ironically, when I collapsed that day back in Prahan when I was twenty-three, I wasn’t very far from ‘The Alfred Hospital’ which is eventually where I had my radiation treatment. Mum and I both agree that I was diagnosed at the right time, because the early treatment options that were available to me came to the Alfred and was covered by Medicare.

Diagnosis

So, all in all, I think I was really lucky and my sister, to this day has no idea how serious it was.

No Idea

Crazy Lady Hormones and AVM

Published November 15, 2017 by helentastic67

Crazy lady hormones

Crazy Lady Hormones and AVM

This weeks “Today’s Lunch” has been postponed until next week.

This post is going to be exactly what you imagine it will be. So, if you are a guy (not sure I have many male followers to worry about) but if you’re still reading, strap yourself in!

My periods started at the usual time as most girls in my early teens. What we never realised is that those special blue pills that stop us killing men? (commonly known as Naprogesic) are blood thinners.

You add ½ a dozen of those, every month. Something probably happened more often than I realised, but didn’t realise exactly what, it meant was that in a perfect storm I was probably lucky I didn’t have a stroke.

Blood Thinners

One morning not long before my diagnosis I recall a bitterly cold morning, getting up to go to work. Conveniently a day Aunt Irma (IT Crowd reference) was coming to visit.

Aunt Irma

I conveniently had to wash my hair that morning and being so cold I made sure I had it hot.

Turns out water also makes your blood thin. When I had more blood in and around my brain, than normal I would get dizzy and I mean I was dizzy, I recall drying my hair a little with a towel and putting it up (in a bun that I still wear as my style) I recall drying and putting pyjamas back on, setting my alarm and going back to bed to sleep it off. I woke a few hours later to restart my day.

When I was finally diagnosed, I was told emphatically NO MORE BLOOD THINNERS!

After several years on and off the steroids (Dexamethazone) for brain swelling, sometimes my period just didn’t come for 6 months or more.

About 4 years ago, I actually went on the pill, because once a month I was an emotional mess. Rather than the previous five months, I just wanted to kill someone. I traded up to a whole day where EVERYTHING upset me EVERYTHING MADE ME CRY.

Crying

Get up, get undressed, cry! Get in the shower, cry! Get out of the shower, cry! Get the point?

Not let Helen take her second coffee in the cinema when she’d previously taken her first coffee in. Cry!

Have I mentioned, you don’t mess with me and coffee? No seriously!

Coffee 1

About a year ago, I came off the pill to find out if I was menopausal. Yeah, that word. I was only 43 years old and no I wasn’t and still am not, to my knowledge.

Menopausal

Turns out it was probably a good thing I didn’t meet my soul mate (yeah, I believe in that crap!) because I might have wanted children. I always imagined I would, but if it had I might not be here at all.

Soulmate

When you’re pregnant ladies. (presuming only the ladies kept reading) your bodies blood volume doubles. My AVM would not have coped. If my child had made it (there has been no child) I might not have made it.

So, babies, right? Not for everyone.

Privilege not a right.

Anyway, a lot of background to get to my point!

Had a bit of a tummy ache this week. Would have been mistaken to think it was Aunt Irma and except she visited last week for all of about 12 minutes. Felt that way anyway. Think I sneezed a few times and it was over.

Meanwhile the app on my phone last week had told me, it was due in six days, on the 2nd February, 2017 and its currently early October.

Don’t know when you’ll be reading this but my point ABI/AVM/Crazy Lady hormones.

Not happy Jan.

Oh, and with the no blood thinners, it’s hard, I just upgrade to Opiates – Oxy Norm!

The End…

 

%d bloggers like this: