Depression

All posts tagged Depression

Hot off the Press – 14th August 2017

Published August 14, 2017 by helentastic67

Hot off the Press kitten

So, today’s Hot! Off the press is bought to you by this picture…………

 

I saw these clocks a while ago at the Swedish warehouse and figured I’ve got a big empty wall in my lounge. This would be cheaper than framing a poster from my trip around the UK and Europe in ’94.

I know I don’t have eyes in the back of my head to see said clock on my lounge wall. But semantics.

When I was in the Swedish warehouse debating with my mum if I could afford the clock, I said; “What’s that? If I carry it I can get it?”

The wall is still bare.

Monday had a use day going to the DAC I’m part of. Ok, fine! Disability Advisory Committee, as usual I end up doing a little facilitating because I have something to share and I’m able to do it in a pointed and formatted way. The meeting was actually on housing in the region particularly the needs of people on the public housing list and that in the Next 10 years over 14,000 more people are expected to settle in the area to call it their home.

Meeting

I used the example of the house that was demolished across the street from me last week. Although it’s only properties where there are more than 30 apartments that will be required to cater to people with disabilities. This is how public housing is trying to avoid the ghetto mentality of some large developments. As there will be owner/occupiers as well as investors/renters that choose to reside there. The general public are outraged the carparks at shopping centres and markets (council owned) look to be redeveloped for these purposes.

Public housing

While, I don’t love it, I get it. I might also not like to live there, I might not have a choice. One day.

From there to my Osteopath appointment and the day went smoothly from there.

My friend Michael dropped me home after an adventure to J-Car! A place I refer to as another tech-friends Temple. I still managed to pick up a few short extension cords. 1 and 2 metres. Always handy to have.

Tech support

Arrived home and Michael attempted to do a little tech support for me. I have a 5 turn-table CD player that I have not been able to use for years as I no longer have an Amp and I wasn’t prepared to sacrifice any of my other tech creature comforts. My DVD provides my surround sound. For everything else.

It should be stating, I’ve deskilled for this kind of tech requirements over the years and as I can’t afford to pay anyone I reward with coffee and muffins. Everyone wins!

After 2 hours, I suggested if he couldn’t fix it I was ok to stand up for a smacking across the bottom. Michael suggested he should have asked more questions and it was more likely to warrant a smack across the face. Not what I’d prefer but a girl can try.

Solution? Helen needs some kind of Receiver. (So, in laments terms an Amp!)

Tuesday a very lazy day again! No complaints.

Wednesday, I was on the Provo trail for food vouchers. So back to the same neighbourhood as Monday but by taxi this time. Did a great deal of walking Wednesday, making up for Tuesday. I even caught the train for about five stops. Because I didn’t get a seat and didn’t want to have to ask for one I stood for about 20 minutes on the train which was like a slow Power-Fit workout. The day ended with 6,000+ steps on the pedometer.

Just an FYI, waving your smart phone in the air or walking around inside holding the phone does not get you steps. Holding the phone to your hip while getting those last 50 steps to get over the 6,000 mark. Gold!

I hope you are all aware I do things every day to help with my depression. I really appreciate the little things in life that put a smile on my face. Because life isn’t all about doom and gloom. Hence, the little witty stories that may seem out of place and make people wonder what Hellonwheels is all about.

Depression

Thursday, got to lay low and have a lazy day at home. Much needed after my marathon effort walking on Wednesday. Again, still not complaining!

Dropped into visit Bella/Killer and no joy! Last week I got to have a moment with her when a mum came in with young children who raced over to chase her away. Will try harder this week. Still no fur-child at Helen’s………….

Cat cafe

It seems this week I’ve had a day on day off all week long. By Friday late afternoon I had a migraine and couldn’t feel much of my left side.

I seemed to barely scrape through to be off-grid on Saturday. Again, ignored my single girl date night film evening to catch up on some TV, as I’m feeling the pressure since all the TV I watch starts again in September and I’m too far behind to allow myself to catch up on movies.

Watching TV

I otherwise had a little email contact with some of my blogger colleagues. It’s rare but really nice. Most days I send or receive messages from one of my blogger friends on Messenger. These small but hugely significant contact really makes my day. As other than my carer, I have no other human contact which seems insane.

Bloggers

Phillip my friend who visited some weeks back was surprised no one reaches out to me to ask how I’m going. I do my Outreach efforts mostly on a Wednesday while out and about and he is one person I reach out to. If he doesn’t receive a text from me by Friday I hear from him. Does anyone else share this experience?

Sunday night I watched the Australian 60 minutes and it featured a story about social media Influencers. An Aussie who takes a photo of herself in a bikini every day, because apparently, it’s beach wear we all live in. A few of my fellow bloggers and I currently suffer from the ‘we are not rich enough’ scenario, for want of a better term. Ladies? Bikini a day is taken. I wonder how many out there would pay not to see me in a bikini. I don’t think I’m touching a bikini ever again… Any takers? Just a thought. And I hope you all realise I mean this in a totally non-trolling kinda way…….perhaps we are not adapting to this new potential income stream that the youngsters are on?

60 minutes

Looks like I’m starting a new week with the migraine that has been lingering since Friday. Seems it is at least my constant companion.

Should be said; I managed to read four comics this last week! Feel like doing an impersonation of the Count off Sesame Street! I can totally justify collecting my three-monthly supply of comics on my trip to the city Tuesday. I receive a discount because I do this. File under cost saving hints!

Here’s for another week!

Happy Monday

Cheers,

H

 

 

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Today’s Lunch – 12th July 2017

Published July 12, 2017 by helentastic67

Lunch

Today”s Lunch

Today’s usual arancini is looking a little flat for some reason. Kinda how I’m feeling this fine Hump Day mid-winter Melbourne.

Arincini Ball

Arancini has pumpkin & spinach today with the standard side-salad. And my medicine (cafe latte)
Side Note; When in Rome do not order a Latte! You will get what you asked for….a glass of milk.
Latte

There is something I really appreciate about the routine of my Wednesday. The crazy part of my week is done. From here to Friday there are generally no surprises.
Depression the standard today. Another day. Meh!

Cheers,
H

Hump day

Today’s Lunch Special – 28th June 2017

Published June 28, 2017 by helentastic67

Todays lunch

I’m thinking to rename my Wednesday Pinchy/Stabby day to include Mental Health somehow. Because that is what I’m working on by the appointments I keep every Wednesday and yummy lunch never hurts.

I just had some friendly banter with the Barista on my way past. The owner Rob is looking rather slim lately so I suggested one of these days if I can’t buy any of my favoured options, I could resort to a nice salad with my latte.

Would that be healthy? Or counter-productive?

Turns out Rob the owner has hit the gym. I delivered the Barista a friendly STFU because I can’t go to the gym.

Or I wouldn’t be able to do it justice so it would do my head in.

So, on today’s lunch menu is another Arancini, In the form of a Zucca Arancini with a side salad.

Arocini

Always! And my latte. Medicine!

grumpy-latte_o_3834331

Have a great Hump Day!

Cheers,
H

Happy hump day

 

Hot off the Press – 26th June 2017

Published June 26, 2017 by helentastic67

Hot off the Press

Not much to bang on about for the week that was…….didn’t feel like I ‘kicked any goals’ so to speak.

My mum was down literally for only 24 hours in which time we drove several suburbs out of our way to get my new Dripolator coffee machine. Don’t ask……….Mum was actually down for a medical appointment of her own so once in the electrical goods store when mum mentioned where she was from and what she had come down to, (medical appointment) the staff murmured a noise of concern. (You know how woman do?) I cut the tone short by saying “It’s ok, she going to live forever!” Then they presumed I was not thrilled by this prospect. So, I had to dispel that also. I paid for my new medicine machine (coffee maker!) and mum of course stated she was there to carry it to the car. I growled at her that the box was full of plastic and air, as if she should stop complaining and because we always compete as to who gets the last word I snapped out; ” It’s because of me we get a carpark right next to the door!” I gave a coy smile to the startled staff and turned to head for the door. They laughed!

Dripolator

 

This is pretty stock standard of my mum and my level of communication. We don’t hold back if one of us things the other is deserving of a “Fuck off!” Or a “Whatever!” And it has taken 10 years for us to reach this point. Don’t be concerned, it’s a positive.

Sometimes I wonder how other bloggers go about ‘naming and shaming’ poor attitudes of family and friends and if they worry about backlash? But I understand my family might occasionally look at my blog but largely don’t bother. That said, I heard this week my younger sister (I’ll point out arrived just shy of my 15th birthday) is just starting 4 weeks of leave from her work. I offered she could come and visit a few days, we could hang out, go places, do things. Visit the Van Gogh exhibition at the NGV?

little sister

This quiet not confident offer was suggested on Facebook, the way distant family communicate. I was swiftly dealt a curt, “Nope!” I offered she could think about it a bit longer before deciding. Did I mention I changed this sibling’s nappies 28 years ago? And I see my sisters usually once a year.

Said younger sister, well deserving of her holiday. Not untrue, just doesn’t get my call for a visit and I couldn’t be bothered poking this bear. Leaving me a little sad. Does anyone else have a suggestion on how to prod family in a way I won’t have my one good hand bitten off?

And yes, like I mentioned I don’t think my family will read this since I have proof I have more Impact on people around the world from me than my own blood. Nothing like feeling like your living outside a family, trying to look in.

Feel free to give me a Like so I know you stopped by.

Otherwise, the week saw 2 comics move locations this week. No new posts written in pen on paper. A visit to the city to see my shrink. Did a workout (one-handed) on a photocopier of the next 40 posts to post to the lovely Noelle my Administrator.

Discovered my new favourite card shop in the city. Found completely on a whim, and was even able to replace my oven timer for baking accuracy. Didn’t realise how heavy it was until I got home. My bag was so heavy on Monday!

Kitchen timer

Got some big numbers on my pedometer this week. 4,444 – 5,739 and today a neat 69! My left foot is really paying for it. Often those busy days I can’t feel my left foot until it HURTS! So clearly not happy I still don’t have my NDIA funded shoes!

Had my once-yearly haircut this week, only 9 months overdue. I’ve given up paying rent on time and prioritised things I want/need instead. I asked my hairdresser for a discount on my trim (B.T. dubs:3 inches) and I’ve never felt so humiliated for being poor but wanting to be treated like everybody else. How dare I imagine I was allowed to? Left me feeling rather sad and sick and unpampered. (I didn’t get a wash or a blow dry and she was still put out for not respecting she was running a business) very sad face!

Hair cut

Still plenty of issues managing my HR, (Human Resources/carers) but it’s an ongoing issue.

Single girl date night saw me watch Underworld. Blood Wars. Mostly, I single tasked but it’s always a challenge………

Underworld

With the plunger coffee finally put to rest with the new medicine machine I posed the question of a few trusted advisors, plunger coffee or no coffee? In the same tone as bad sex or no sex? The answer was neither in case anyone asks?

Plunger

And then another week begins!

Lack of caffiene

Cheers,

H

Monday

 

Who You Gonna Call?

Published May 10, 2017 by helentastic67

ghostbusters_who_you_gonna_call

Who Can You Call

No, it’s not Ghostbusters, if you’re feeling down, who could you really call if you need talking off a ledge? If you were to really think about it, I have both parents still. Not complaining, they are still around and I have two sisters, an older, who lives an hour away and a younger sister who lives with our mum again, 3 ½ hours away.

My older sister, I won’t even send a Facebook request because it would hang in limbo.

My mum and younger sister, I can’t call when Masterchef is on, or Survivor, or even Bachelor. I can’t call before midday and I can’t call certain days of the week after 7pm. They work odd hours and sleep worse hours than me and there seems to be an all-round they don’t want to hear from me, so I don’t bother.

Masterchef

Had a call with mum today with my Case Manager here and the call went surprisingly well. I was eating my breakfast at the time so had to be very patient. We were collectively discussing my application for the NDIS. Occasionally when my mum got distracted by the “problems” and couldn’t get to a solution, I found my words.

Phone conversation

I finished the call with my usual sign-off “Love you and leave you” and my mum gave me the phone equivalent of a “whatever”.

Hanging up I shared a moment with my Case Manager that he understood my pain and yet, if I need “talking off a ledge” my mum would want to hear from me.

My advice to anyone, if you’re feeling down, if you’re having a hard time call someone.

Feeling down

Don’t do anything stupid, just call someone. Start a conversation and if you’re that person someone calls and you don’t know what to say? Just say something.

Sometimes, it’s OK if you don’t know what to say, just talk, give them company.

Having said all of that, there is a rare evening the phone rings after midnight and I laugh when I answer. She asks “is it too late?”

I laugh again.

It’s often a very prompt, matter of fact call. Which is fine.

By that time, I’m trying to wind down and arguments don’t help.

Midnight call

Depression and Stats

Published March 17, 2017 by helentastic67

Depression

Depression and Stats

Last night I was looking back over my recent posts and noticing the number of ‘Likes’ some posts have over others. I am definitely noticing that some posts strike a chord with people and that’s when they start to follow and then they seem to not stick around.

Stats

I, obviously don’t post to be popular, I just found it a little amusing, 7 complete strangers liked my post on depression. Clearly, I don’t want to talk about depression, every single post. That would be depressing…

I find the way I deal with my depression is, I vent some and I play a little loud music. Then, I hibernate. I find people don’t understand depression and they don’t realise you can be depressed and still be up and about walking around.

Loud music

Are we all meant to be at home sitting in a dark room, wearing black, looking pale?

I confess, I do wear a lot of black, a heavy grey jacket, today on account of the weather, but under that layers of black! NO, really layers.

Dressed in black

But anyway, where was I? Oh, yes…. Depression, I think writing about it, vent, but do something to move the negativity or else nothing changes.

Sometimes, maybe we just have to change our expectations and disappointment doesn’t snowball to be beyond despair.

I realise this sounds pessimistic, but I wonder if I’ll get more than 2 Likes for this post?

Pessimistic

Advocacy

Published September 12, 2016 by helentastic67

advocacy-2

Advocacy

People don’t realise how much self-advocacy is involved in having a disability and remaining independent.

People would think I have everything in the whole damn world thrown at me because I have a disability.

However, in reality, I’m forever pushing about 5 different issues and at any given time.

You probably wouldn’t believe me but on my limited income I live in private rental. Yes this means I qualify for Rent Assistance, but it hasn’t increased since 2007 when I first qualified for my pension and while rent has continued to increase, Rent Assistance has never increased in line with the market.

The reality? THREE times I’ve moved since 2007, I’ve had to move further from my supports and comfort zone, further from the city. Let’s not forget, I have to compromise, quality of my home and size.

advocacy

(I went to an open for inspection on Saturday as I’m having to contemplate moving) and the kitchen was crappy 70’s! Not even nice or retro 70’s! We’re talking three kinds of BROWN TILE where there was already BROWN CUPBOARDS! In a really small space, I can’t do it!

I grew up in a brown 70’s house (my dad still lives there) and a BROWN SCHOOL UNIFORM. I’ve suffered enough!

NUMBER 2! My second issue I’m dealing with right now , I’m dealing with the Government and my 2nd appeal so my pension is not reduced every fortnight for the rest of my natural born life!

I’m not being melodramatic, they really want to reduce my allowance at a small amount per fortnight for the next 24 years!

Keep in mind, they harass me every 3 months threatening to take a significantly larger portion that would see me not pay my rent or eat!

Also keep in mind, I’ve previously stated eat Salami to shorten my life and if this keeps up I won’t be able to afford Salami either.

Perhaps, if I’m feeling a Part 2 to this, so stay tuned….. NEXT!!!!

advocacy-1

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