Depression

All posts tagged Depression

Who You Gonna Call?

Published May 10, 2017 by helentastic67

ghostbusters_who_you_gonna_call

Who Can You Call

No, it’s not Ghostbusters, if you’re feeling down, who could you really call if you need talking off a ledge? If you were to really think about it, I have both parents still. Not complaining, they are still around and I have two sisters, an older, who lives an hour away and a younger sister who lives with our mum again, 3 ½ hours away.

My older sister, I won’t even send a Facebook request because it would hang in limbo.

My mum and younger sister, I can’t call when Masterchef is on, or Survivor, or even Bachelor. I can’t call before midday and I can’t call certain days of the week after 7pm. They work odd hours and sleep worse hours than me and there seems to be an all-round they don’t want to hear from me, so I don’t bother.

Masterchef

Had a call with mum today with my Case Manager here and the call went surprisingly well. I was eating my breakfast at the time so had to be very patient. We were collectively discussing my application for the NDIS. Occasionally when my mum got distracted by the “problems” and couldn’t get to a solution, I found my words.

Phone conversation

I finished the call with my usual sign-off “Love you and leave you” and my mum gave me the phone equivalent of a “whatever”.

Hanging up I shared a moment with my Case Manager that he understood my pain and yet, if I need “talking off a ledge” my mum would want to hear from me.

My advice to anyone, if you’re feeling down, if you’re having a hard time call someone.

Feeling down

Don’t do anything stupid, just call someone. Start a conversation and if you’re that person someone calls and you don’t know what to say? Just say something.

Sometimes, it’s OK if you don’t know what to say, just talk, give them company.

Having said all of that, there is a rare evening the phone rings after midnight and I laugh when I answer. She asks “is it too late?”

I laugh again.

It’s often a very prompt, matter of fact call. Which is fine.

By that time, I’m trying to wind down and arguments don’t help.

Midnight call

Depression and Stats

Published March 17, 2017 by helentastic67

Depression

Depression and Stats

Last night I was looking back over my recent posts and noticing the number of ‘Likes’ some posts have over others. I am definitely noticing that some posts strike a chord with people and that’s when they start to follow and then they seem to not stick around.

Stats

I, obviously don’t post to be popular, I just found it a little amusing, 7 complete strangers liked my post on depression. Clearly, I don’t want to talk about depression, every single post. That would be depressing…

I find the way I deal with my depression is, I vent some and I play a little loud music. Then, I hibernate. I find people don’t understand depression and they don’t realise you can be depressed and still be up and about walking around.

Loud music

Are we all meant to be at home sitting in a dark room, wearing black, looking pale?

I confess, I do wear a lot of black, a heavy grey jacket, today on account of the weather, but under that layers of black! NO, really layers.

Dressed in black

But anyway, where was I? Oh, yes…. Depression, I think writing about it, vent, but do something to move the negativity or else nothing changes.

Sometimes, maybe we just have to change our expectations and disappointment doesn’t snowball to be beyond despair.

I realise this sounds pessimistic, but I wonder if I’ll get more than 2 Likes for this post?

Pessimistic

Advocacy

Published September 12, 2016 by helentastic67

advocacy-2

Advocacy

People don’t realise how much self-advocacy is involved in having a disability and remaining independent.

People would think I have everything in the whole damn world thrown at me because I have a disability.

However, in reality, I’m forever pushing about 5 different issues and at any given time.

You probably wouldn’t believe me but on my limited income I live in private rental. Yes this means I qualify for Rent Assistance, but it hasn’t increased since 2007 when I first qualified for my pension and while rent has continued to increase, Rent Assistance has never increased in line with the market.

The reality? THREE times I’ve moved since 2007, I’ve had to move further from my supports and comfort zone, further from the city. Let’s not forget, I have to compromise, quality of my home and size.

advocacy

(I went to an open for inspection on Saturday as I’m having to contemplate moving) and the kitchen was crappy 70’s! Not even nice or retro 70’s! We’re talking three kinds of BROWN TILE where there was already BROWN CUPBOARDS! In a really small space, I can’t do it!

I grew up in a brown 70’s house (my dad still lives there) and a BROWN SCHOOL UNIFORM. I’ve suffered enough!

NUMBER 2! My second issue I’m dealing with right now , I’m dealing with the Government and my 2nd appeal so my pension is not reduced every fortnight for the rest of my natural born life!

I’m not being melodramatic, they really want to reduce my allowance at a small amount per fortnight for the next 24 years!

Keep in mind, they harass me every 3 months threatening to take a significantly larger portion that would see me not pay my rent or eat!

Also keep in mind, I’ve previously stated eat Salami to shorten my life and if this keeps up I won’t be able to afford Salami either.

Perhaps, if I’m feeling a Part 2 to this, so stay tuned….. NEXT!!!!

advocacy-1

Black Dog

Published September 5, 2016 by helentastic67

depression-negative-feelings

Black Dog

There is a thing that happens consistently, I think its DEPRESSION related where everything gets too hard and shit is stacked on top of shit and we get overwhelmed.

So, when if you broke things down to one problem at a time and someone give you some contacts or solutions you would generally think they could move/motivate themselves to take that first step, but what really happens is by then they can’t see beyond the overwhelming DEPRESSION to help themselves.

Poem depression

But they can’t!

I think it’s okay to be DEPRESSED. It happens. It’s OK to admit you are and definitely to ask for help.

RU OK

It’s not okay to sit and wallow too long and when given the tools to wait to be rescued.

There is a great sense of achievement to take the first step and make a call.

It’s hard to make decisions when you are DEPRESSED. But when you do, it makes it easier to do the next thing.

I highly recommend not just the method of putting out ‘spot-fires’ but picking the quickest and easiest solution to help boost morale.

I know I make it sound so easy. And it’s not, but onward and upwards.

Grumpy Cat

Auditory

Published August 8, 2016 by helentastic67

Auditory 1

Auditory!

Have been having many auditory issues of late. While my stroke/not-stroke has affected the left side of my body from my toes to my face, my brain still functions very sharply. I manage my own appointments and day to day stuff, I pay my own rent and bills and I negotiate much of my own services and whatever! My home is clean and tidy (mostly) and I may be one handed, but I’m always moving around the unit with something in my hand keeping everything in its place.

I am considered a high-functioning ABI! It’s because I’ve had no trauma, which is rare! I’m not saying I’m special, but I am “she says tongue in cheek!” High functioning for me is because I’ve managed to avoid trauma to my brain. No surgery (cutting) and my memory has remained intact. I consider I have a very good memory, long and short term. My mum would disagree, but she would be wrong.

But lately my sensory issues have made me a little fuzzy and it’s starting to bug me.

auditory-training

I can go out and do my own shopping, pay my own bills, do that ‘stuff’ and even reschedule appointments ‘on the fly’ if I’ve got a busy schedule or am early for an appointment and have a little wriggle room but it can all go to shit when someone’s around re talking in my left ear or distracts me somehow.

My concentration becomes harder to keep on track, my self-processes and coping skills can all go to hell in a second.

And no matter how much I plan ahead to have things go smoothly at the end of the day from that moment on, I’m going to get a migraine.

 

The Rash

Published July 18, 2016 by helentastic67

Rash 2

The Rash!

Trying to get to write about the thing and the thing and the thing, but I’ve been talking to a friend today about depression. So the thing can wait.

I suffer depression and anxiety. For me the depression has come and gone throughout life depending on the ‘shit’ at the time I’ve been dealing with. I imagine from 9 years of age and un-diagnosed at the time. And back then, shit just happened and you just got on with life. Keeping in mind that was circa 1980-ish (because I’m old!).

These days, my depression and anxiety has been the icing on the top of the cake on top of several other medical conditions.

But I manage to paste on a smile when I leave the house and I can problem solve like the best of them and laugh and joke with my friends (Carers).

It doesn’t mean I’m not depressed; it just means I cope better.

So, the analogy I used for my friend today who was sad that his depression had returned that depression comes and goes. It’s like that bad ex-boyfriend or that rash, it comes and goes…

There is away depression has the power to suck the life out of you. It creeps up on you and can appear without you even being aware it’s your new best friend.

I prefer not to write when I’m really depressed. Because it’s disastrous and you can’t see the forest from the trees and even common sense decision making is beyond me.

I prefer to put on some loud obnoxious music and not just to annoy my neighbours.

Music for me seems to charge the energy in my home. Then I start to get motivated to do things, cooking, organise, whatever.

So, that moves more energy and then I can see progress and then it’s an improvement.

Depression can affect people who have chronic medical conditions.

It can affect people who seemingly have everything positive to live for.

Sometimes, it’s that one shitty thing, moment, thought that can put people over the edge.

Decisions

Published March 23, 2016 by helentastic67

decisions_mid[1]

Decision

To make a decision, I was given the mantra in my teenage years that if you couldn’t make a decision for yourself, the decision would be made for you and you may not always like the results.

The funny thing about being depressed is you might struggle to make even the most simplest of decisions.

Some people just on observation, get stuck in their own ‘shit’ so much they can’t make a decision to save themselves.

Start with small decisions, things you have to attend to everyday. Then build up to the bigger, harder stuff. If you have serious chronic Medical conditions, make a damn decision. If there are options to try to improve those conditions that will give you the possibility to return life to some form of normalcy try them!

Wait:     TRY THEM!!!

You don’t know, if you don’t try them.

Sometimes, making a decision can snowball and if you can fix the things that have held you back some of the other problems are easier to deal with.

Depression can lesson and life can be easier and happier.

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