Depression

All posts tagged Depression

Today’s Lunch – 12th July 2017

Published July 12, 2017 by helentastic67

Lunch

Today”s Lunch

Today’s usual arancini is looking a little flat for some reason. Kinda how I’m feeling this fine Hump Day mid-winter Melbourne.

Arincini Ball

Arancini has pumpkin & spinach today with the standard side-salad. And my medicine (cafe latte)
Side Note; When in Rome do not order a Latte! You will get what you asked for….a glass of milk.
Latte

There is something I really appreciate about the routine of my Wednesday. The crazy part of my week is done. From here to Friday there are generally no surprises.
Depression the standard today. Another day. Meh!

Cheers,
H

Hump day

Today’s Lunch Special – 28th June 2017

Published June 28, 2017 by helentastic67

Todays lunch

I’m thinking to rename my Wednesday Pinchy/Stabby day to include Mental Health somehow. Because that is what I’m working on by the appointments I keep every Wednesday and yummy lunch never hurts.

I just had some friendly banter with the Barista on my way past. The owner Rob is looking rather slim lately so I suggested one of these days if I can’t buy any of my favoured options, I could resort to a nice salad with my latte.

Would that be healthy? Or counter-productive?

Turns out Rob the owner has hit the gym. I delivered the Barista a friendly STFU because I can’t go to the gym.

Or I wouldn’t be able to do it justice so it would do my head in.

So, on today’s lunch menu is another Arancini, In the form of a Zucca Arancini with a side salad.

Arocini

Always! And my latte. Medicine!

grumpy-latte_o_3834331

Have a great Hump Day!

Cheers,
H

Happy hump day

 

Hot off the Press – 26th June 2017

Published June 26, 2017 by helentastic67

Hot off the Press

Not much to bang on about for the week that was…….didn’t feel like I ‘kicked any goals’ so to speak.

My mum was down literally for only 24 hours in which time we drove several suburbs out of our way to get my new Dripolator coffee machine. Don’t ask……….Mum was actually down for a medical appointment of her own so once in the electrical goods store when mum mentioned where she was from and what she had come down to, (medical appointment) the staff murmured a noise of concern. (You know how woman do?) I cut the tone short by saying “It’s ok, she going to live forever!” Then they presumed I was not thrilled by this prospect. So, I had to dispel that also. I paid for my new medicine machine (coffee maker!) and mum of course stated she was there to carry it to the car. I growled at her that the box was full of plastic and air, as if she should stop complaining and because we always compete as to who gets the last word I snapped out; ” It’s because of me we get a carpark right next to the door!” I gave a coy smile to the startled staff and turned to head for the door. They laughed!

Dripolator

 

This is pretty stock standard of my mum and my level of communication. We don’t hold back if one of us things the other is deserving of a “Fuck off!” Or a “Whatever!” And it has taken 10 years for us to reach this point. Don’t be concerned, it’s a positive.

Sometimes I wonder how other bloggers go about ‘naming and shaming’ poor attitudes of family and friends and if they worry about backlash? But I understand my family might occasionally look at my blog but largely don’t bother. That said, I heard this week my younger sister (I’ll point out arrived just shy of my 15th birthday) is just starting 4 weeks of leave from her work. I offered she could come and visit a few days, we could hang out, go places, do things. Visit the Van Gogh exhibition at the NGV?

little sister

This quiet not confident offer was suggested on Facebook, the way distant family communicate. I was swiftly dealt a curt, “Nope!” I offered she could think about it a bit longer before deciding. Did I mention I changed this sibling’s nappies 28 years ago? And I see my sisters usually once a year.

Said younger sister, well deserving of her holiday. Not untrue, just doesn’t get my call for a visit and I couldn’t be bothered poking this bear. Leaving me a little sad. Does anyone else have a suggestion on how to prod family in a way I won’t have my one good hand bitten off?

And yes, like I mentioned I don’t think my family will read this since I have proof I have more Impact on people around the world from me than my own blood. Nothing like feeling like your living outside a family, trying to look in.

Feel free to give me a Like so I know you stopped by.

Otherwise, the week saw 2 comics move locations this week. No new posts written in pen on paper. A visit to the city to see my shrink. Did a workout (one-handed) on a photocopier of the next 40 posts to post to the lovely Noelle my Administrator.

Discovered my new favourite card shop in the city. Found completely on a whim, and was even able to replace my oven timer for baking accuracy. Didn’t realise how heavy it was until I got home. My bag was so heavy on Monday!

Kitchen timer

Got some big numbers on my pedometer this week. 4,444 – 5,739 and today a neat 69! My left foot is really paying for it. Often those busy days I can’t feel my left foot until it HURTS! So clearly not happy I still don’t have my NDIA funded shoes!

Had my once-yearly haircut this week, only 9 months overdue. I’ve given up paying rent on time and prioritised things I want/need instead. I asked my hairdresser for a discount on my trim (B.T. dubs:3 inches) and I’ve never felt so humiliated for being poor but wanting to be treated like everybody else. How dare I imagine I was allowed to? Left me feeling rather sad and sick and unpampered. (I didn’t get a wash or a blow dry and she was still put out for not respecting she was running a business) very sad face!

Hair cut

Still plenty of issues managing my HR, (Human Resources/carers) but it’s an ongoing issue.

Single girl date night saw me watch Underworld. Blood Wars. Mostly, I single tasked but it’s always a challenge………

Underworld

With the plunger coffee finally put to rest with the new medicine machine I posed the question of a few trusted advisors, plunger coffee or no coffee? In the same tone as bad sex or no sex? The answer was neither in case anyone asks?

Plunger

And then another week begins!

Lack of caffiene

Cheers,

H

Monday

 

Who You Gonna Call?

Published May 10, 2017 by helentastic67

ghostbusters_who_you_gonna_call

Who Can You Call

No, it’s not Ghostbusters, if you’re feeling down, who could you really call if you need talking off a ledge? If you were to really think about it, I have both parents still. Not complaining, they are still around and I have two sisters, an older, who lives an hour away and a younger sister who lives with our mum again, 3 ½ hours away.

My older sister, I won’t even send a Facebook request because it would hang in limbo.

My mum and younger sister, I can’t call when Masterchef is on, or Survivor, or even Bachelor. I can’t call before midday and I can’t call certain days of the week after 7pm. They work odd hours and sleep worse hours than me and there seems to be an all-round they don’t want to hear from me, so I don’t bother.

Masterchef

Had a call with mum today with my Case Manager here and the call went surprisingly well. I was eating my breakfast at the time so had to be very patient. We were collectively discussing my application for the NDIS. Occasionally when my mum got distracted by the “problems” and couldn’t get to a solution, I found my words.

Phone conversation

I finished the call with my usual sign-off “Love you and leave you” and my mum gave me the phone equivalent of a “whatever”.

Hanging up I shared a moment with my Case Manager that he understood my pain and yet, if I need “talking off a ledge” my mum would want to hear from me.

My advice to anyone, if you’re feeling down, if you’re having a hard time call someone.

Feeling down

Don’t do anything stupid, just call someone. Start a conversation and if you’re that person someone calls and you don’t know what to say? Just say something.

Sometimes, it’s OK if you don’t know what to say, just talk, give them company.

Having said all of that, there is a rare evening the phone rings after midnight and I laugh when I answer. She asks “is it too late?”

I laugh again.

It’s often a very prompt, matter of fact call. Which is fine.

By that time, I’m trying to wind down and arguments don’t help.

Midnight call

Depression and Stats

Published March 17, 2017 by helentastic67

Depression

Depression and Stats

Last night I was looking back over my recent posts and noticing the number of ‘Likes’ some posts have over others. I am definitely noticing that some posts strike a chord with people and that’s when they start to follow and then they seem to not stick around.

Stats

I, obviously don’t post to be popular, I just found it a little amusing, 7 complete strangers liked my post on depression. Clearly, I don’t want to talk about depression, every single post. That would be depressing…

I find the way I deal with my depression is, I vent some and I play a little loud music. Then, I hibernate. I find people don’t understand depression and they don’t realise you can be depressed and still be up and about walking around.

Loud music

Are we all meant to be at home sitting in a dark room, wearing black, looking pale?

I confess, I do wear a lot of black, a heavy grey jacket, today on account of the weather, but under that layers of black! NO, really layers.

Dressed in black

But anyway, where was I? Oh, yes…. Depression, I think writing about it, vent, but do something to move the negativity or else nothing changes.

Sometimes, maybe we just have to change our expectations and disappointment doesn’t snowball to be beyond despair.

I realise this sounds pessimistic, but I wonder if I’ll get more than 2 Likes for this post?

Pessimistic

Advocacy

Published September 12, 2016 by helentastic67

advocacy-2

Advocacy

People don’t realise how much self-advocacy is involved in having a disability and remaining independent.

People would think I have everything in the whole damn world thrown at me because I have a disability.

However, in reality, I’m forever pushing about 5 different issues and at any given time.

You probably wouldn’t believe me but on my limited income I live in private rental. Yes this means I qualify for Rent Assistance, but it hasn’t increased since 2007 when I first qualified for my pension and while rent has continued to increase, Rent Assistance has never increased in line with the market.

The reality? THREE times I’ve moved since 2007, I’ve had to move further from my supports and comfort zone, further from the city. Let’s not forget, I have to compromise, quality of my home and size.

advocacy

(I went to an open for inspection on Saturday as I’m having to contemplate moving) and the kitchen was crappy 70’s! Not even nice or retro 70’s! We’re talking three kinds of BROWN TILE where there was already BROWN CUPBOARDS! In a really small space, I can’t do it!

I grew up in a brown 70’s house (my dad still lives there) and a BROWN SCHOOL UNIFORM. I’ve suffered enough!

NUMBER 2! My second issue I’m dealing with right now , I’m dealing with the Government and my 2nd appeal so my pension is not reduced every fortnight for the rest of my natural born life!

I’m not being melodramatic, they really want to reduce my allowance at a small amount per fortnight for the next 24 years!

Keep in mind, they harass me every 3 months threatening to take a significantly larger portion that would see me not pay my rent or eat!

Also keep in mind, I’ve previously stated eat Salami to shorten my life and if this keeps up I won’t be able to afford Salami either.

Perhaps, if I’m feeling a Part 2 to this, so stay tuned….. NEXT!!!!

advocacy-1

Black Dog

Published September 5, 2016 by helentastic67

depression-negative-feelings

Black Dog

There is a thing that happens consistently, I think its DEPRESSION related where everything gets too hard and shit is stacked on top of shit and we get overwhelmed.

So, when if you broke things down to one problem at a time and someone give you some contacts or solutions you would generally think they could move/motivate themselves to take that first step, but what really happens is by then they can’t see beyond the overwhelming DEPRESSION to help themselves.

Poem depression

But they can’t!

I think it’s okay to be DEPRESSED. It happens. It’s OK to admit you are and definitely to ask for help.

RU OK

It’s not okay to sit and wallow too long and when given the tools to wait to be rescued.

There is a great sense of achievement to take the first step and make a call.

It’s hard to make decisions when you are DEPRESSED. But when you do, it makes it easier to do the next thing.

I highly recommend not just the method of putting out ‘spot-fires’ but picking the quickest and easiest solution to help boost morale.

I know I make it sound so easy. And it’s not, but onward and upwards.

Grumpy Cat

%d bloggers like this: