How’s your mother? I always get asked by my carers… My mum who was here for less than 24 hours, last week to smash some appointments and things.
My mum is really the only family member to support me and she also manages to be my biggest critic.
So, it’s often somewhat tongue in cheek I reply with a smart mouth “she was alive when she left and so was I”.
My mum and I have come a long way in the last ten years, in the early days of my disability, she was mid 50’s and she would come down often once a week just to take me across town to my physio and OT appointments.
Mum lives about 3 hours away in the country in a lovely isolated valley where there is NO MOBILE RECEPTION and when I go home for Christmas, mum and my younger sister cannot remember their internet password. So, for me THERE IS ALSO NO INTERNET!
Admittedly their internet is so little and so slow, it’s better to just let emails pile up. I’m less inclined to lose my mental ‘shit’ and want to kill people.
My internet is fast and reliable at home. My mum reminds me every time she visits when she claims “I just detected 400 emails”.
Yeah! She only visits for my fast internet, I don’t mess around with internet or computers when they don’t work, I have visual images of Jackson Pollack paintings. Anyway, I digress as per usual.
It is rather typical of family members when they are carers for people with brain injuries and disabilities to verbally spar with each other.
Most people with brain injuries I’m sure it’s like torture and torment because they lack the verbal skills or mental capacity to give as good as they get.
My mum probably doesn’t realise she should count herself blessed, I have a smart mouth and deliver her a sharp retort at times, despite it offending her. Because the early years I used to bite my tongue until I realised Passive/Aggressive didn’t help me.
Nothing was going to change if I couldn’t let it be known. Clearly, we have had many opportunities for a difference of opinion, on this whole topic.
But what can you do?