Friends

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Expectations

Published November 8, 2019 by helentastic67

Expectations

It’s really easy when you have an emotional detachment from issues that you can problem solve or find a solution to things when they are not your problems. You can assess the pros & cons and have a realistic expectation.

It’s easy to notice when people change and ??? when things in their live don’t go the way they would prefer.

I have found my circle of friends thin out over recent years, since my diagnosis and disability. Let me give you an example:

Once upon a time, well in last three jobs I worked in, office roles. Doing admin TPO Training Placement Officer) etc. The first job I ended up working up to having admin under my position and I was training them.

One woman, let’s call her ‘Sticks’ (she was tall and slim- don’t real any more it’s it) ‘Sticks’ and I worked there together and the next two places together. I saw her every day or had a conversation on the weekends of some sort.

She and I came from completely different walks of life. She still lived at home, still shared a room with her sister, yet managed to have sex. SEX! Every day with her boyfriend.

To be fair, her version of sex wasn’t mine, however that part is. When we no longer had that common thread, she got a different job (where she imagined she would have more time) and she would see me more.

Spoiler Alert: this did not happen.

For a little while after my treatment and before my hair had grown back and I’d started to see the ‘fall-out’ from my treatment, I’d go do lunch with ‘Sticks’ at the workplace I used to work at. I’d see the people I used to work with also. There was that sense of community I’d been part of, but no longer subscribed to. So for a little while the contact continued. I’d crank her (when you call someone and head up just as they got to the phone – which was something fun I used to do to her in the office, as I’d see her standing not far from her desk across the partitions in the office, so I could tell just how long to ring her and the conversations I’d have over the phone when she was forced to talk in code to have people around  her not know what she was talking about or who) and on a rare occasion she’d call me at midnight. Yes, I know, midnight, wait

Because we were both awake and she wanted to pick my brain about getting or qualified for a mortgage. Wait! I know, I asked myself that question already. What do I know about getting a mortgage? Do I have one? No! I do not. But I would have a credit rating.

I’ve been a renter for so long, to sit down and work out how much rent I’ve spent, not on a mortgage and I’ve had household accounts with my name on them and while I’ve not recently owned a car or ever had a car worth much.  (I had a poor art student car in the form of a Chrysler Galliant from the mid ‘90’s, but did I mention it was a mid 70’s model?) and I have had a Visa for some time.

So, the moral of the story is the less in common you have with your old friends, the less likely you will maintain that friendship.

And it is no-one’s fault, it just is what it is.

 

Clayton’s Holiday

Published September 23, 2019 by helentastic67

Clayton’s Holidays

There was a drink back in the 80’s and I has become part of Aussie Pop Culture references that crosses all things. The ad was for a drink (beverage) called Claytons.

It refers to it being the drink when you don’t feel like having a drink. A drink without being alcoholic. So, this is a post about a Clayton’s holiday. Get it?

About five years ago, I was with an agency that arranged holidays (group holidays) for their clients. I was able to and included on two holidays, which was really nice as I think it’s been about ten years since I actually had a holiday and even then, that was to Tasmania for two-three nights.

So, the group holidays work out to be only a half day drive from Melbourne and only away over night or two. The other client’s range in age from five (one client’s daughter) to sixty-five (maybe). There were two mini buses with wheelchair lifts on the back (two wheelchairs in the back of each) and usually a car.

I usually bags the front seat of the mini bus (I will do a polishing motion on my backside and one of the carers will effortlessly lift me and deposit me in my seat). Yeah, I do that sexual harassment for the ladies. But I won’t allow a male carer to man-handle the goods. (I’m not light these days, but one lady just effortlessly lifted me making me feel so light.)

Being on a little get away with a bunch of strangers and three or four carers means you have a polite but temporary family type experience.

I always pitch in to help prep a salad or something in the evening as we usually stay somewhere we have a shared meal where ever we stay on the first night, as most meals are eaten out.

The first holiday I went to we stopped on the way back to Melbourne at an outer Melbourne suburb for a lunch and a little adventure.

A friend lived there, so I suggested they join me, so I could catch up with them. Said friend had recently been diagnosed with something quite nasty. They are still in that honeymoon stage of diagnosis where they have had the sugar-coated version of their diagnosis. Goes something like this “OH, you only have 3 lesions…”

Note, privacy being maintained here, yeah. This medical condition is such that when people hear I have a brain injury, I tell them, “Hey! It’s okay, this is my bottom line right now. At least I don’t have XYZ.” Because XYZ is degenerative. It gets worse. It gets shitty. I just gets’ worse.

So, this friend joined my little group of holiday buddies and I briefly introduced them to the group. I’m going to say, I’m terrible with names and I’ve been around this group of people with disabilities now a few years, so in a little desensitized re: medical conditions.

My introduction went like this;

“Brain Injury, MS, Stroke, Stroke, Oxygen deprived at birth (Brain Injury) etc, etc”. And I finished with referring to one particular person in a wheelchair (of which there were five) but the last person I pointed to had the XYZ my non-holiday friend has. “That will be you one day” and they paled considerably.

To be continued

Sweet Success

Published February 11, 2019 by helentastic67

Sweet Success

Sweet Success

I’ve had many carers that take me shopping over the years, on a Friday. That is my day for having a carer put me in their car and we go on an adventure. This is when I feel mostly like a normal person. Like I’m hanging out with a friend, laughing, joking, teasing, sharing stories. Having fun right.

Hanging out with Friends

At the moment, I’ve a young lady (Wow, that just happened, I just became an old lady) who is only 23 years old and we have the best time.

Best time

I make the habit of writing shopping list through out the week, so I can restock, but once out, I’m happy to keep an eye out for my favourite things when on special and anything new that might catch my eye.

Shopping List

My carer these days has a rule; I can only get one thing that is not on my list. “Yes Helen, but that’s your one thing”. So of course, the simple answer is you put EVERYTHING ON THE LIST. Correct.

Cherry Ripe

Cherry ripe

Snickers

Snickers

Chips (you Americans call them Crisps) etc, etc, etc.

Chips

But I then of course make up the rules as we go. “I have to get Jaffa Cakes.” They’re on special. At times I will see something and just sneak it in the trolley, when I’m not looking, she will put it back.

Jaffa cake

Later, I will tell her the last bit of leftover Christmas pudding would have gone so much better with a little thick Bailey’s cream. As I dart my eyes towards her, she will go to take a defensive tone with me and I’ll tell her it doesn’t matter.

Christmas pudding

One week, we were in the lolly isle, I reached for a Cherry Ripe bar ($1) bonus reward points. C’mon, and a debate ensured.

Cherry ripe on special

“No! You already have your one thing?

“But these are on special”

“No!”

So, I just put them in the trolley. She stated that only if she could have one.

“Fine!” she thought that could stop me.

She probably needs a hit of sugar to complete her shift with me and then I told her I was allowed to get two Snickers bars. We had a quiet drive to our next destination as we both ate our Cherry Ripe and Snickers.

Snicker bars

I still win.

I win

Often by the time we work our way around, the regular familiar staff we encounter, wonder what we are giggling about, so we explain the “One thing that isn’t on the list” rule. They share their solutions for me to have a work around. But then this scenario is my young charges worst nightmare. We are standing in the queue for our checkout. On my left (my blind side) is this wall of TIM TAMS and she noticed it before I did or at least I didn’t connect. I suggested to move the trolley closer and I could just scoop them all in the trolley.

Tim Tams

We agreed it was her biggest nightmare! No one is due a TIM TAM care package. Not eve to Texas (even she can’t be trusted – she has to wait) and I already have two unopened packets in the fridge.

Tim Tams 1

Today’s Lunch – 9th January 2019

Published January 9, 2019 by helentastic67

todays lunch

Today’s Lunch

Good Mental Health Day

Sometimes good things happen when least expected and even better if I can give a life lesson. You know I worked in nightclubs back in the 90’s for 5 years? Yeah, it felt like 10, but it was intense three to six nights a week. No drugs and barely any alcohol. Yeah so last week I had lunch with a chick I knew from back in those days. Yes, we were friends yet I hadn’t seen her since those days, losing touch because I moved back to the country for two years and her relocating across the ditch. This was before everybody had a mobile phone.

working in nightclub

While my club career added to my skill set, it didn’t lead to further employment shall we say.
However, meet Skye Bromberg. She was the receptionist at some of the clubs I worked at and the Door-Bitch at another. Telling young guys in bad suits they couldn’t enter the club because she “couldn’t guarantee their safety”, (because the regular patrons would want to sort them out)
Club work really can lead to bigger and better careers.

http://www.abc.net.au/local/videos/2010/11/04/3056809.htm

And here is Mika playing with her new toy. Many thanks to Stephanie, she loves it!

mika & fish

And then just before Christmas a gift arrived into my letterbox. It was from ‘Santa!’ and while I do all my gifts from ‘Santa’ if I put it in your hand you know it’s from me. Now, this gift was are specially from the man in red, and I am stumped! Welcome to my Happy Socks!
happy socks

I have been asking everybody! It’s going to drive me crazy! Just crazy!

going crazy

One more week and my favourite cafe is back! So, today’s lunch was closer to home, much closer.
Today’s offering is a beetroot salad with goats’ cheese and my medicine, of course.

salad

latte

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Cheers,
H

Rehab – Part 6

Published November 5, 2018 by helentastic67

Rehab Part 6

Rehab Part – 6

I have carers, as you know who take me shopping and even my morning carer that helps me get ready after my shower, to face the day, they all become my friends. It’s inevitable, the ones I can’t crack are usually very reserved, on account of them not planning to put down roots and those don’t plan to stay in the job long term, choosing to move onto other things.

Carer morning routine

When out and about on my shopping adventures, it’s much more like I’m hanging out chatting with a girlfriend.

Shopping adventure

I might have mentioned, my carers are usually older, sometimes younger, rarely my actual age.

I’m now 46 years old and I get along with all my carers regardless of their age.

Carer friends

Off to the supermarket on Friday, I don’t remember what we were discussing when I said “Yeah, well, I finished High School in 1990.”

Supermarket shopping.

And she said

Wait for it.

“I wasn’t even born then”

not born yet

Yeah that just happened and then later that day.

Today’s Lunch – 23rd May 2018

Published May 23, 2018 by helentastic67

 

Todays lunch 1

Today’s Lunch

Good Mental Health Day

Meeting a friend

It’s funny how my weeks pan out at times. Every week is the usual crazy. But this week, I’ve managed to make it more social. So, Monday.  Had lunch close to home with a friend. This is my lunch and hers.
Little HenrysLittle Henrys 1

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Tuesday, had planned to go to another place a little further with a friend who has just returned from a holiday in Cuba, I always invite her to visit and I take her on an adventure and I love that she is open to doing different things. We have done the tulip festival, visited my Mr Miyagi, many, many lunches, we have visited a large bonsai supplier, and the day was no different. While, the intended location of lunch was not open we went for a wander and came across a cafe that we both enjoyed a vegetable curry. Mine came with a roti folded in the shape of a napkin.

Vegetable CurryRoti

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

We had a discussion that my Wednesday posts have already hit a Arancini slump I fall into for winter. So, in my efforts to change things up a little, I hope you enjoyed these pictures for something completely different.

And finally, today’s offering, Moroccan chicken and turmeric rice salad.
And my standard medicine!

Chicken and rice

Latte

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Cheers,
H

Blessing

Normal

Published May 14, 2018 by helentastic67

Normal

Normal

Lately, I’ve had a new batch of carers come to me for a variety of different services. They have come from different cultural, religious backgrounds and different ages and beliefs and education.

Different

And again, here I come explaining some common-sense stuff, some manners (you heard me) and that it’s not sad or against God if someone is Gay.

Common Sense

I’m not Gay, but seriously I didn’t survive this long without having Gay friends. But it’s weird that again a new batch of carers and I have to be the one to explain what I accept as normal is actually ‘NORMAL’.

Normal is normal

If I’ve got a guy in the peripheral of life who is my friend, values me for who I am, is the right amount of bitchy, right amount of foody talk and a decent degree of understanding and empathy. What do I care they are into penises? And not V-jay jay. It makes life easier that I know they’re not trying to get into my pants.

Gay friends

They obviously appreciate me for the other parts of me. I think I’m lucky for my Gay friends.

Oh, yeah the manners part.

Good Manners

Sometimes I have carers who just help themselves to things, like tissues or rechargeable phones (WTF). Some girls walk through the lounge, grab a napkin (and I’m watching this as I follow them) they scrunch it up and throw it in the kitchen bin.

Seriously, I’m more than a bit “Green” and I’m not made of money.

Not made of money

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