All posts tagged frustration

When Everything Was Going Well – Then

Published December 13, 2019 by helentastic67

When Everything Was Going Well – Then

Ok, this must be said first, we will never speak of it again. To be fair I will probably need to start a series and this is a very mild one, as the others are very embarrassing and will come complete with a threat of violence to any who mention them in my presence.

This is not so embarrassing, just a moment of pure frustration where everything was going so well (in my kitchen) and then all of a sudden: Just NO.

As you should be aware, I’m a pretty decent home cook, even for a one-handed numpty like myself. So, when things go somewhat sideways, I’m wondering how it happened. I have a cooking shift with a carer once weekly.

It’s with my Girl-Friday chick and we are really good working together in the kitchen. I’m the experienced ‘brain’ in the duo and my Girl-Friday is the muscle.

Don’t think for a second I give her all my shit-work. I don’t. We work really well together, I do more of the cutting of vegies, while she does the peeling, but while she has things to do, I will clean the sink and pack the dishwasher well and dictate what she needs to do next. Normally, when we bake cakes (or muffins as I can turn them out one-handed) Today, we did a double batch of some muffins I regularly do. I make them regularly and I never do a single batch. It requires a big bowl which the dry ingredients goes into (the flours, sugar, raising agents) then another (with the secret ingredient/the vanilla essence/the oils) and a third bowl to whisk the eggs. Add C to B, then to A.

Oh, what’s that? You want the recipe? No. Or I’d have to kill you all.

Some recipes I don’t give out. Never. They come with the polite threat “I can tell you, but I’ll have to kill you!”

So, today all of the ingredients were doubled, except I quadrupled the two flours and it wasn’t until Girl-Friday had mixed the wet into the dry that I stated “Why is it so dry?” 6.30pm came and Girl Friday will try to continue to ‘fix’ them and I’m more of the mind to ‘bin-it’ and move on.

I’ve been known to rescue a bechamel sauce from disaster and Girl Friday (20 years my junior, often mistaken as my daughter) is in awe.

But on a rare occasion I don’t know what the hell happened, in the end I baked ¾’s of the mixture and will try one tomorrow with a little butter to make the final decision.

While on other days we will smash out a double batch of other muffins, a batch of mushroom baskets, (including halal-friendly dozen for my neighbour) and a cauliflower and sauce.

Life One Handed – Part 1

Published February 1, 2019 by helentastic67


Life One Handed Part 1

On a very rare occasion a person carer will have her hands full and doing something to help me with ‘whatever’ and they will say to me “I had the experience of what it must be for you one handed”.


Sometimes, it’s not even a comment but a shared look and I will give them a murmur of aging with them and respond “Sucks doesn’t it”

Sucks Doesn't it

Because while they have that brief shared experience with me, I live it every single day. There is no ‘freeing up a hand, there is no break or holiday’


It’s all the friggin time. Ad nauseum.


I guess I should point out it is even more frustrating watching someone struggle to do something with two hands, that I can do very easily with on one hand.

Struggling with 2 hands

I had a young carer once who I gave the task to go hang out some bath mats on the line and on a clothes rack. I gave her the small clothes rack and she commented how much she hated them.


I waited a moment to witness her hold one rail in a hand and fling it around a bit. I don’t know what she was expecting to happen, but she seemed to be having a very hard time. Like she was having a fit. No, really!

I walked away because I couldn’t just stand and watch. I also had to let her wear herself out. Because, I also needed to use “words” to describe to her how to do it.


In the end she got there, but it seriously would have been easier had she given it back to me to do. I’m not saying it was the nail in the coffin for that carer to not return to me, it wasn’t, but it didn’t help.


So great was my frustration.



Published January 21, 2019 by helentastic67



As you may recall the last place, I lived I was in a unit, I was the front unit in a small block of three. What was so good about it was that apart from feeling like I lived in a house, complete with three bedrooms, a real laundry, a small backyard and a linen cupboard. But what was particularly good was I had street frontage.

street frontage 1

I could sit on my couch and see when the landlady came down with her secateurs and dead headed the roses. I could see people walk their dog’s past and stop to smell the roses. Part of the reason why I never picked the roses to bring them inside was because I could watch people appreciate them, from my couch and it also meant I discovered my garden hose cut by something sharp, I could tell it was likely my landlady who was insisted I not use the garden tap, telling me they paid for it.

smell the roses

Ironic, I don’t miss her and her ‘Handsy’ husband. However, the point being, is that when I had the CBF’s (Can’t be Fucked) to leave the house, I would stay in bed, but look out the window and see that I wasn’t alone, even if I didn’t want to go out and be a part of the world.


I remember a downside was the 50 something, man child who still lived at home, who parked outside my bedroom window. About six metres from my window and across the front lawn. The footpath, then the nature strip. (But still) and he would go out to warm his engine at 6am every friggin morning and he wouldn’t do it once, but several times. Every morning. I wanted to scream at him.

man child

“Dude! Your car is old, but it’s not vintage” now you know said ‘Man-Child’ was Greek. Because they are.

old car parking

But the main cool thing about having a street frontage was that most days there would be a car that drove past and tooted. Now, I didn’t know who was doing the tooting for ages and having lived in Clifton Hill years ago, opposite some low-rise Public Housing (don’t start me). Apparently, the norm is when visiting someone in Public Housing, you pull up in your car out front and toot your horn. None of this getting out, going in and using the doorbell. Don’t be ridiculous.


So, I had presumed (note: Avoidance of the word assume) that some lazy ass was saying hello to the wogs across the street without stopping.

lazy ass

It was a very fair assessment, trust me. So, the tooting horn continued, I have to give it to my carers who seemed to appreciate my frustration.


Until one day, I mentioned it to Aunty Christine and she growled at me “THAT’S ME”. What? Apparently, Aunty Christine would go past and toot a hello every other day, would have been helpful if I’d known this.

thats me

From then on, when I’d hear it, I’d turn to my carer in residence and point outside to say ‘That’s Aunty Christine’. Sometimes, she would later report a guy across the street looking strangely at her ass she drove past. So, she would just give them a dismissive wave. As if they were meant to know she was doing the 5 quick toot salute to Helen? Priceless.

dismissive wave

The downside is I now live on a very busy corner in an apartment and no more tooting.

no more tooting

Today’s Lunch – 8th November 2017

Published November 8, 2017 by helentastic67


Today’s Lunch

I confess to say food doesn’t motivate me today. But, you know its fuel for the body and all that.

I’ve got a crappy cold! (Again!) this one is likely stress-related. As I’m moving house next Tuesday……. Today’s offering is a mushroom and sundried tomato Arancini with a side salad and medicine.

Mushroom ArinciniLatte









Crappy cold

Apart from my cold, I have the added bonus of a rib out.  That’s going to-be fun when my chiro puts that back in and sore tummy muscles. (Side-note: there is no muscle memory in that region!) and an added disability today…….this is a great way for able-bodied people to feel an instant deficit if you are game?

I’m a big texter and I’m a thumb-texter. Today, I’ve a Band-Aid on my thumb! It’s a new form of torture………


Lastly, feeling very-frustrated my case-management agency is undoing all my organizing and not helping me.


I did however hear my new NDIS funding has been approved! What that actually means is a completely different story.




Published April 8, 2016 by helentastic67



So, sometimes I want to post a blog, just so I can tell people of my accomplishments. And I can but by the time you hear about them a month or more would have come to pass, but it’s the perfect Segway to me telling you about my process and intern my wonderful administrator.

My process starts with me trying to practice “mindfulness”.

Sometimes I’m waiting for the right thing to happen to trigger a post coming together, just right in my mind. I like to write with pen and paper. Old school.

Then, because of my many issues or deficits, whatever I have been stuck with that for about 5 years that I’ve been planning this blog and talking about it.

And I guess it’s taken a while for a few things to fall into place. Admittedly I was slow to get on the Social Media thing, and a bit longer to be introduced to the right person.

And that is how I met my Administrator!

She is my wizard who made my blog become a reality. More of this hero in a moment, but first I write long hand, copy and post about once a month. So far (Scanned once and emailed) and send to someone in Sydney who types my blog posts up, emails to me for final editing and then after she does some final searching for pictures and some networking “she posts”.

And she be my friend Noelle. And I’m not sure how much I’m allowed to tell you about her, so will pause here…..

Sometimes, I want to brag about the things I’ve just achieved, one-handed, but now there is no time.

I often debrief via text to check in with him.

Sometimes they go something like this;

“Had Chiro and Acupuncture today. And if I had a husband I’d be all over that as well!”

Over time I will tell you of my friends. I hope you will understand more about me and what I value by the friends I keep.

Also don’t be confused by the dates on my posts. I am a prolific writer and have been preparing and writing for this blog for years, so at times I will pull something out of my archives.

If and when I do it will be because it’s still current.

Or I’m still really angry about it….

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