Husband

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Dark

Published February 28, 2020 by helentastic67

Dark

Okay, going full dark today and I’m not feeling depressed in any way while I write this. Quite the opposite really, but I will suggest I’m going to lose my male followers, before too long, much to their loss.

5, 4, 3, 2,

Most of my carers these days are older than me and a few of my friends. Which is great! Fine! Great, I’m not complaining because they bring a wealth of womanly advice.

And 1

Bet the guys are all gone.

Every month or so, the ladies and I get stuck on the topic of Crazy-Lady hormones.

Any guys still reading? Hit me with a like or a comment if you still are.

So, ladies this post is about sliding into the ‘Pause’ (yes Menopause) Apart from the irregular periods (shark week) and the heavy one month, light the next or the all-out ‘all the Crazy symptoms and a complete no-show of obvious. It came, no babies (said 1 young carer years ago)

One of my older carers and I used to share a conversation and you have all heard these stories.

Back in the day, picture the 60’s and theirs a couple chatting about their mutual friends. Two couples married around the same time, raised their children around the same time, holidayed together, worked together, did casserole night, you know, you get the picture. Then all of sudden, it goes full dark.

“Oh, I don’t know what happened, they were perfectly happy, married fifteen years, little ‘whoopsie’ was good at cricket (or whatever sport of the day) and then all of a sudden, he came home one day after work while she was cooking dinner and she just stabbed him to death. The Coroners report stated he was stabbed forty-seven times.

And now she lives in a mental asylum.

Scene end!

So, my carer and I share a look and a smile and this is the important part, if the guys kept reading.

Menopause SUCKS!

Here’s what the wife dealt with that day, the kids, the housework, the shopping, cooking, ironing, laundry, the crazy itching, the hot flushes one moment and then the cool the next. The kids. And then the husband comes home and complained about why was it so cold inside?

Read the room. Don’t mess with a woman who has limited control over what is going on with her hormones.

She doesn’t know what’s going on.

Ergo, case in point.

Stabbed forty-seven times.

You are welcome.

Single Barren Spinster

Published February 3, 2020 by helentastic67

Single Barren Spinster

Australia has a comedienne called Kitty Flanagan. This is a great way to start this post. I’m going with it.

 

I read a brilliant article where she explains why she is reclaiming the title Single Barren Spinster. She explains in this article she planned to have children if the circumstances were right.

Partner/Husband/Significant other – Tick, tick, tick

Baby – Tick

https://www.smh.com.au/opinion/being-childfree-is-no-reason-to-keep-mum-20150108-12kcan.html

As she got older, the clock started ticking and she states she didn’t want to do it alone. The above seemed important to her.

Tick!
Tick!
Tick!

And I agree, I completely agree. In my teens, I thought by my late 20’s, I would have a husband, two children, my own interior decoration business, a retail outlet, holiday’s overseas, a house, etc.

Oh God! Teenagers are so naive, aren’t they? And now, alas I’m 46 years old (47 by the time this goes live, however) none of the above happened.

I quote Kitty Flanagan and being a Single Barren Spinster to any carer and they look at me for a moment. I tell them in the dictionary under ‘Single Barren Spinster’ is a picture of Kitty Flanagan.

Then there’s a picture of me.

European Stare

Published September 2, 2019 by helentastic67

European Stare

There is likely a version of this in every country and culture, as is my style I prefer to describe a situation or scenario, so you can best imagine to which that I refer.

I had scheduled a time to call a friend, we are both busy. I often do this as it’s how I make sure things happen and my life works.

While I’m busy with my appointments, my ‘not-working’ and the voluntary stuff and the friend with her family and being a mum.

So, I rang her and after the bold statement that she felt ‘people didn’t call her because they think she’s OK, because she has a husband’.

Um, can you feel my eye rolls?

You all know I don’t have a husband?

The painful conversation continued and she was telling me about a toy they had purchased for their second child, said child was clearly in the background and correcting mum for calling said toy by its wrong name.

Can you feel my disinterest in said conversation?

This story come from about five years ago and I can’t believe how vividly I recall it. There seemed to be more conversation between mother and daughter than mother and Helen, so I cut the call short because it was giving me a migraine.

,

The following day I had a conversation with a friend in actual person. Said person comes from a Greek background and is as ‘Aussie’ as I am. She threw me a look of horror and surprise. I couldn’t help it, I smiled because we both know what she was going to say.

She said “Oh no! My daughter come up to me when I’m on the phone and they know not to bother me.” She went on to say the closer her children insisted on her attention the sterner the “look” would get.

My mum, who is not European, is from good Aussie/English/Irish stock, yet not first fleet.

Did not do European stare.

As a youngster, my mum spent a lot of time on the phone. No really, so long, if there is a world record for mum’s spending time on the phone it would have my mum’s name on it.

She did something different after stomping our feet and grumbling, doing the little grumpy dance (You know the one, lie you need to go to the bathroom and are waiting for permission) Didn’t need to, just painting a picture. I was young.

Mum can say to whomever she was speaking to “Can you just hang on a second?” as she put her hand over the mouth piece and said to you. “Can you go peel the potatoes” or maybe “Pick some carrots” or you know “feed the cat.” You knew, it was always something, seemed like busy work to me.

So, you either learned to leave her be and find something close to distract yourself, but you know she could talk. Now I use the European stare on her. It’s good for every time you need to communicate simple things and easy to add tone.

 

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