Joke

All posts tagged Joke

Joke from Hellonwheels

Published May 25, 2021 by helentastic67

Joke from Hellonwheels

As you might all be aware of, I’m always busy. Did 2020 put a dint in anything? No.

One of the reasons you could get out in Melbourne during what was known as the toughest lockdown anywhere, to stop the spread of Covid, was medical appointments.

I was out at one yesterday, when I came up with this witty joke.

You remember the days when the military used ear piercing metal music 24/7 to keep their prisoners sleep deprived? Send water boarding? (I know this is wrong, but hang in there?)
So, the new torture device is………..
“Tell us the codes to end the world!”


Do you remember that song?


Your welcome!

Helen’s Joke of the Week

Published August 30, 2019 by helentastic67

Helen’s Joke of the Week

Today as a very special one-off post!

As promised Wednesday because I was a hormonal mess! Proof that even on shitty/miserable days there is always a possibility of a joke/laugh/opportunity to go full wrong!

My neuropsych was at my dining table and I pointed to my liquor cabinet. I still don’t drink but I have to put the jars of cumquat brandy and the “cooking” rum somewhere. So, why not with my photos, I pointed to the cabinet and told my neuropsych, “I know it looks bad. It’s not a drinking problem, it’s a I can’t find a photo problem!”

ro

Just remember: neuropsych, not just for crazy people!

Have a great weekend! I’m going off grid!

 

Punchline

Published August 5, 2019 by helentastic67

Punchline

So, continuing on about the whole Social Media thing, I think I just created a punchline to an old joke. Hear me out. Have you heard the one about?

A tree falls in the forest and no one is there to hear it?
Does it make a sound?

Then I confess, I forgot the next line and then a tree falls in the forest and lands on a mine, does anyone care?

Someone throws a comment out on Social Media and nobody likes or comments. Should I kill myself?

Ok, clearly not planning to kill myself, however people really take stuff seriously on Instagram and such, they really don’t cope if people don’t or can’t respond.

It escalated fast didn’t it?

I just think people should be strong, independent and learn to stand on their own two feet. Don’t be afraid to ask for help of course, but be strong in your convictions, learn, be educated. Have your own opinion.

You can listen to other people’s opinions, but have your own first. It’s also OK to change your mind, however only after you have all the facts.

Social Media

Published August 2, 2019 by helentastic67

Social Media

Ok, I think I made a joke, let’s see if you agree or just hear me out. Tell me your thoughts please.

You know the whole Social Media thing everyone else is on? That I am not. People on Instragram, Twitter and the like.

Yes, yes, I do have a blog and I did eventually get on board the Facey-thingy. Reluctantly.

But it seems some people only have conversations if they are being shared with 5,000 followers and of whom want to be in on the conversation, concentrate on other people’s comments and spread the hate.

I know I sound old, when I say some people are more interested in other people’s opinions than actually watching a documentary, or such to learn about it from the horse’s mouth (so to speak) than make up their own minds.

I’ve come to the conclusion, maybe people would rather communicate with people they don’t know, because they might live around the world from them and not in close proximity (is this safer?) or because they share a mind-set?

Because I guess there is the whole catfish thing. FYI I really am now a 46-year-old single barren spinster living in Melbourne Australia, advocating to/for people with brain injuries, with a cat.

Why anyone would make this shit up to get friends they may or may never meet is beyond me.

 

Joke

Published June 4, 2018 by helentastic67

Joke

Joke

Here’s a joke for you.

What do you call 100 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?

(I sweat this joke is 20 years old and I don’t mean any offense. It’s just a reference for the next joke.)

A: A bloody good start…

Lawyer joke

The 90’s! They were rough right? I think today the joke should be…

Q: What do you call 100 Real Estate Agents at the bottom of the ocean?

mmmmmm….

You get my point now, don’t you?

Looking for a new rental property can be brutal. A tenant seems to give notice and the Real Estate advertises it straight away. I get that it’s their job to keep rent coming in for their landlords, but….

Real Estate

The outgoing tenant hasn’t really looked around at their options. I can’t see it until closer to it being available and then there’s a ten-minute open for inspection, where 15-20 other people are there also.

Smaller apartment

I often email the agent to say, are their any stairs? I can do about four steps with a handrail, that’s my limit.

I have been to see a property, it’s cheaper than what I’m currently paying and smaller and not further away from my comfort zone.

There’s no washing machine taps in the bathroom. There is a shower over a bath. Yes, I did ask. The property is way too small. As I walk out, the property manager is standing there at the bottom of the steps to more flats upstairs and she’s telling everyone as they have a communal laundry up the stairs. Sometimes I think there should be a charge for my time and them wasting it.

Communal Laundry

I found a property online, seriously late last night, OK technically this morning. I received an email stating the property had been leased.

Too Late

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