Laughter

All posts tagged Laughter

Today’s Lunch – 25th December 2019

Published December 24, 2019 by helentastic67

Today’s Lunch

Good mental health day! Or as I like to say Merry fucking Christmas!

It’s actually Tuesday right now, Christmas Eve as I tap this out. It’s a good day, I’m well-adjusted as I’ve seen my chiropractor who I won’t see now until mid-January. My girl Friday and I had fish and chips for lunch in Fairfield.

I will have a medicine later at home. I received a gift from my mum yesterday in the post and presuming it was a tree, due to its shape, I’ve left it to open tomorrow. A message late last night came from my mum stating I should open it and that it wasn’t a tree? I don’t know, you tell me? Mine is on the right, she lied didn’t she! It’s a tree!

My Christmas Tree

Mums Christmas Tree

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Also, a photo of it during daylight without the lights on. I hope JD is impressed? As promised, cat-friendly. It is sitting on top of things in my living room about a metre off the ground and Mika can’t get to it, or shows little interest.

Wishing everyone a very Merry Christmas. Be safe and try not to eat too much. I received my new NDIS Plan just in time for Christmas. I’m not looking at it until Thursday and over the New Year, I need to take some time off. My first medical appointment in the new year is the 9th and all the crazy starts again.

Also, while my girl-Friday was away I had some fresh new carers, one day I was in K-Mart on an important call from a lawyer. Trying to take it seriously when I looked up and this is how my girl-Friday 2, Oh had kept herself busy……..

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I don’t know how I made it through that phone call.

Lastly, a big thanks for my wonderful blog administrator Noelle for whom hellonwheels would not happen. I am lucky her husband has a thing for trying to give himself diabetes. Last week, I managed to mule some gifts their way via a friend.

And today, the 24th, I managed to mule some goodies to the States to be sent to my friend in Texas! I have a post to write about to gift for appropriating people to mule things for me.

Also, Many thanks for my 200+ followers, for comments from close and far. Hope to see you in 2020!

Rest! Replenish and see you back for more in 2020!

Cheers,
H

Murder

Published October 28, 2019 by helentastic67

Murder

Oh, my Sweet Jesus Nelly! I don’t know if you can tell, but ‘Sweet Jesus’ has become part of my repertoire for swearing, but in this case it’s not in frustration or disgust, it’s because a carer shared the most hilarious side-splitting story with me on Monday.

Often as part of my time with carers I greet them with ‘how was your weekend?’ or whatever. I do see my carers more than family or friends, so I get their home lives set-up and know if they have had a good weekend or otherwise.

My Girl-Monday, lives with her son, daughter-in-law and 2.5-year-old granddaughter, while the husband is elsewhere finishing up selling a house, so he can join her in Melbourne. So, it was a bit of a surprise when Girl-Monday and I were in my ensuite and she came out with this statement.

“My daughter-in-law almost murdered my son on the weekend!”

WHAT?

I’m sorry What?

Did you say what I think you just did?

She did and she repeated it. My eyes darted to her face.

Apparently, the young granddaughter can get into the cot by herself (can you hear where this is going?) I’m thinking ahead and maybe they are already outsourcing parenting at bedtime and it goes like this.

“Oh, are you feeling sleepy? Do you want to get into bed?” Crazy right? I suspect this in reverse is why the son decided to teach the daughter (carers granddaughter) how to get out of the cot.

I looked at my carer and gave her a long Noooooo!!!!

So, he must have thought if in the morning and she wakes up before they are ready to get out of bed, they can call to her “Sweetie, do you want to get into bed with mummy and daddy?” and they wouldn’t need to go get her.

Again, I looked to my carer in a questioning his intelligence and of way. She informed me he is well educated intelligent young man.

I’m just thinking he has not thought this through and I’m with the daughter-in-law. Even now my sides hurt thinking about how my carer told me about this situation Monday morning.

I’m a single barren spinster, but I’ve had two younger sisters and even I know better.

 

Because Life is Short

Published August 17, 2018 by helentastic67

Life is too short

Because Life is Short

Because life is short, we should sometimes write about the little things that amuse us, that might amuse others. Rather than doom and gloom all the time.

No doom or gloom

So, this week I have been introduced to a new term for when a woman has her period.

I like the IT Crowd reference to Aunt Irma. If you are not familiar with the show, you just got homework. Wonder if my male followers read to this point.

Aunt Irma

The term I’ve been introduced to this week is called “Shark Week” I mean, on this topic in general, men can be such bastards. Oh, they think we blame everything on our periods, but if they had crazy hormones once a month and had just one full on menstrual cycle, they would bite their tongue and be much more considerate.

Crazy Hormones

Where was I? The other name I’ve heard, this one Oprah uses, “You Know where Aunt Flo visits.” Oh Oprah, so love her… Then theirs “I’ve got the Decorators in.” What? That person also explained ‘You know the painters?’

Oprah painting

What term do you use?

Tell me

Cheeky

Published August 3, 2018 by helentastic67

Cheeky

Cheeky

Now, I like to imagine by now, you are fully aware I am a bit cheeky. I can’t be my usually cheeky self around family, because they don’t get it. Weird right? But I’ve got a new carer who takes me shopping and she has worked out very quickly how ‘fresh’ she can be with me, which is good.

Family weird

We have been doing a little driving to locations, I can get to certain things without adding to the chaos and me having to carry things.

So, last Friday, after driving to a Health Food shop where I get some of my ‘good pills’ which I get in bulk, so they are cheaper. We drove to a neighbouring suburb to the Petshop. This pet shop has a cat that requires re-homing, there might be a kitten, bunnies, fish. Yeah! That kind of pet shop.

Pet shop

We pulled up in a car park on the street and when my carer was ready to disembark, she came out with a command.

“GET OUT”

Get out

To be fair, I wasn’t expecting it, but after a snort, I burst out laughing and so did she.

Burst out Laughing

To be fair, it is always good to have a laugh when out with my carers because people don’t just see me as someone with a disability. People see me out with my ‘girlfriends’ laughing. Sharing stories and wit and people then don’t notice my disability. However, some carers don’t realise if they think they can out do me with wit, they are mistaken.

Hanging out with friends

All I have to do is stand still and let out a screech.

“STOP IT”

And then

“YOU’RE HURTING ME!”

And people might come to my aid.

Hurt me

 

Motion Sickness

Published August 23, 2017 by helentastic67

Motion Sickness

Motion Sickness

I never understood why, but I was always plagued by motion sickness as a kid. Family road trips always started with me in the seat behind the driver with my head turned towards the side window (on the right) and my knees turned towards the centre of the vehicle. Did not allow for much room when the family car, growing up was a Valiant Charger.

 

Valiant Charger

 

Car trips usually ended with my mum in my seat and me in the front passenger seat!

These days any family car ride it becomes automatic that I ‘bags’ the front seat. While it’s been a long time since I’ve been ill in a car. With the exception of having a migraine once while back in the country for a brief visit and a trip in mum’s ‘Racing car” to the closest staffed emergency room, that day I needed a bucket, but that was extreme circumstances.

Front seat

 

Over the last few years, living where I now live mum an I have had many an adventure to the Swedish warehouse to get ‘storage solutions’, to the point we not only avoid the showroom, but we even drive up the exit (a spiral design) and park next to the pick-up area to go straight into the warehouse where we make a snatch and grab before getting the hell outta there.

Swedish Warehouse

One painful day, I was feeling more than a bit ‘seedy’. Lack of sleep, too busy, too stressed, migraine, whatever it was. Mum told me as we arrived at the spiral exit to get ready.

Reaching across my body, I held on to the handle above the door on the roof. I swear my mum was a rally car driver in a previous life.

Sitting in the front

Of course, I told her to take it easy. To which she chose to mention the sick bag in the pocket in the door beside me INSIDE A SNAPLOCK BAG!

Sick bag

I suggested if I was going to be sick I would not have time to deal with a snaplock bag one handed. I cannot tell you how quickly I was made to give her that bag so she could get it out.

Even at the time and no matter how many times I share that story it gets a laugh.

Sometimes, you just have to laugh…

Laughing

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