Melbourne

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Busy

Published October 18, 2021 by helentastic67

Busy


I have never known how to not be busy. I’ve always been busy. When I was 16 years old (yes! back when there were dinosaurs!). In the 1980’s, I was a full-time high school student, I worked part time as a checkout chick. I was doing hours of art folio preparation to get into college, I was a live-in babysitter to baby sister and I definitely didn’t have time for a social life or boyfriend. I did the household ironing and more than my share of the housework.

All while planning to be a poor art student, didn’t do a 4,000-word assignment until my first year of tertiary. I was still living at home then and it was all hand written. No computers, so many drafts, then only the battle of whiteout back then. You kids don’t know how good you have it.

So, it shouldn’t be a surprise that when I moved to Melbourne to be a poor art student when I was nineteen, that while being a full-time student, I transferred my supermarket job so I was working part time and being 100% responsible for my shopping and cooking. I introduced a little social outing in the form of going to clubs. I met one woman at college that went to a big commercial club very close to me. In simple terms, it was a very big wog club that was like a meat market. Huge dance floor in the middle of the room, upstairs, you spent much time going for a walk around the perimeter with a friend. As you travelled around a line forward and you just kept to the left. To your right was a line of people going the other way. As people passed on your right A guy’s face would loom into you to go for a kiss. Brushing them aside, all of a sudden, they would be pulled away by their girlfriend who had them by the hand and asking why they seemed to be holding them up. This is not why I stopped going to this kind if club.

The first few years I studied in Melbourne (two years actually) and I would go home long weekends and maybe a week of term break.

At Christmas, I’d transfer my supermarket job back to the country and also pick up seasonal work in the farm of blueberry packing. The last season I did some picking too, but while very stressful, packing paid better.

But to take a break from study and be at home in the country over Christmas meant I was literally working from 6am until 9pm with only a few hours off in the middle. Not even after college, I picked up some work in retail and clubs, which I literally set the hours according to what I considered it required to ‘get the job done’. So, my weeks, day and night were full.

I guess I’m saying life before my disability was always hectic, maybe why little symptoms I could later contribute to my AVM diagnosis went unchecked. So busy, my life has always been busy and I’m sure it’s not the last time I will cover this topic, or topics.




Special Edition

Published August 23, 2021 by helentastic67

Special Edition

When Melbourne came out of Lockdown for the blink of an eye.

Today is a very special edition of HellOnWheels bought to you by the letters C & not for the obvious reason. 

Today was the first day Melbourne was coming out of the harshest lock-down reported in the world. Today was the return of cafes being open and being able to dine in. During lockdown my Girl Wednesday/Friday and I have been doing Car Cafe sitting out the front of, wait for it. Introducing https://www.cavallini.com.au/

Finally, I’m telling you all where I go to eat and caffeine. Also, I write and where even during lock-down I would walk in and be greeted with a “Hi Helen. How are you?” 

It’s even more special today, because, anyone want to see Bruce Willis with actual HAIR? You’re welcome!

Now, today’s special offering. I previously just called this the salted caramel, chocolate, chocolate thingy thing, but it’s actually called a Maltalbarno. This week I would arrange several coffee dates here with friends so I can share a slice of this over coffee to help me celebrate and to share the calories. Calorie’s shared is calories halved right? 

I wish I could say I’ve been laying low during CoVid lockdown however; you can leave the house for several reasons. Number 1, Medical appointments and I have had plenty. Including a Brain-Scrape (yes, Covid test) I passed. So, I could go have my first Colonoscopy. 

Yeah, cos I’m “that” age and because my father had bowel cancer before 60. He survived. Not complaining. But it means, fifteen years before the age he was diagnosed I needed to start getting tested. Super! I was a bit overdue, but I’m good. I passed too. I’m good for another five years.

Just enough time to forget how disgusting the nasty prep drink is. No really. It’s hideous! I will do a post to share my great jokes I gave them before my procedure and the challenge I set myself after the procedure.

I hope you are all staying safe and getting tested for CoVid and well I guess bowel cancer too.

I will also add I’ve seen my father three times this year, I didn’t even see him at Christmas. It’s normally the only time I do get to see him. But I only got to see him because he had a heart attack. For Christ’s sake! He drove himself to hospital (in the country) because, I’m told it’s a “Wog-Thing”! Don’t worry, the nurse gave him a talking too and open heart surgery and three months later he is finally “getting there” so despite the “Fit hitting the Shan” in 2020, we could be coming out of it. Optimism, right?

I’m trying it out. Leave me be.

To be continued………….

High Density Living

Published July 19, 2021 by helentastic67
Melbourne city, apartments, high density areas.

High Density Living

These days high density living in inner city Melbourne has become the norm just like everywhere else.

There are all kinds of short cuts developers take to get more levels in but at a cost to quality.  I overhead a story recently while getting a treatment in Collingwood at my free clinic.

A patient (or client) in the next cubicle stated he had a friend who had paid $750,000 for an apartment in that area and when he heard the kettle in the kitchen next door to his place going off, he knew it was time to move further out.  He’s lucky it was just the kettle.

Hot off the Press – 15th June 2021

Published June 15, 2021 by helentastic67

Hot off the Press

Change does not come easy.

So, I guess my posts these days have become more of a Hot Off the Press edition. Today, I’m writing on a Friday morning and every day this week I’ve been needing the pennies to stop dropping if you feel me.

There is just something fucking new every frigging day, I’m up to pussy’s bow, the end of my rope, not sure my nerves will cope with much more.

You may be aware, earlier this year I may have mentioned my shrink (makes me sound crazier). My psychologist is wanting to retire. WHAT? I know.

She’s mentioned for a while now, over more recent years and I’ve been in denial, obviously at some point she decided she was more and more serious and in 2021, it’s happened. She’s winding down. Very sad face!

You see, I’ve been seeing her for 13 years, I know, still not fixed (That’s a mental health joke!). I tried to entice her to stay, but I haven’t unpacked my baggage from my teenage years yet. I think we all know I have, but she could not be encouraged to work forever.

I asked if I could have half my money back, as I’ve got to start again with someone new.

Anyway, this week I found out why I’ve been unable to nail down my Support Co-coordinator (fancy name for a case manager). I’d been told she was sick, I now also imagine she’s been doing a job trial for her new job, because she’s leaving. Meanwhile, I don’t know if my new shoes have been paid for? Well, they haven’t and I guess now, I’m making sure all the wheels are turning.

Because the NDIA makes sure everyone else gets paid, even if they haven’t been doing their jobs. So, of course I started making calls. Like I don’t have enough to do already? FFS!

Have been meaning to do this blog post for days and yesterday I realized why I hadn’t, all the pennies had yet to drop.

Thursday, found out I’m also getting a new Occupational Therapist (OT). Are you breaking up with me too? So yes. She did too. I’d only had this OT a few months as I’d finally kicked the last rubbish OT to the curb.

2020 is still kicking me in the pants and I’m over having to rehash all the things. FFS!

I need a cheat sheet!

Wednesday, I heard (got a text!), I’m at 81% of my year’s funding and it ends in December. So, I need a review and my support coordinator better bring her A-game.

The NDIA like to give you just enough funding to cover you for 10 months of the year and then you have to go beg for more, by which time they have moved the goal posts to mean you can’t have what you previously had. I also heard the NDIA has trialed a new ‘thing’, it’s called Personas (Independent assessment) and an algorithm.

It’s just a funny way to put us all in little boxes as if we need the same things. We will all hurry the fuck up and go do study, or just get a job and not be a drain on the Australian government. It’s like they realized people with disabilities deserve a normal life and things and human rights. Until they realized how expensive having ethics is. Then they’ve tried to take out the human element so they can be more economized.

Advocacy never ends does it.

On the upside, Smith Street in Collingwood was voted the best street in the world! Voted by the editors of Smith Street has been named the coolest street in the world (timeout.com)


I got to catch up with Noelle last night by phone. I’ve started calling her every few weeks to chat. We were commiserating over how bitterly cold it got all of a sudden. Winter has hit. And Melbourne has come out of lockdown 4.0. We still need to wear masks and Noelle is in Sydney and they do not.

So, I just tease her at least we have heaters in Melbourne. They had their coldest day on record in 37 years yesterday and the rivalry continues between Sydney and Melbourne.

We still have better coffee, art and street culture. I mean they don’t even have a National Gallery, it’s in Canberra. WT Firetruck!? (Trying to swear less, is it working?)

We have the MCG and the laneway street art; Melbourne has all these things. Just saying.

Trying to end on an upbeat.

Hot off the Press 31st May 2021

Published June 1, 2021 by helentastic67

Hot off the Press


A Hot off the Press like no other. Last week I was able to have my visit to Young Betty. We met in Rehab and for just a moment I’ll let you imagine we met in drug-rehab, except we didn’t.

Betty is my 90-years young friend I tease every week day after and before watching a trashy TV show I introduced her to. I’m not even sorry.

Although Betty was not having the best day as it was the 1-year anniversary of the passing of her husband (and a day) and the day of the 4th lockdown in Melbourne F**k You! CoVid! (I might just mean thank you)

Friday, I put a rib out!!!!!!! Nothing! I’m just answering your question. Ok, I was putting on my jacket, then just couldn’t move. Trip to chiropractor (2nd in 3 days!) I actually used a swear word I’ve not used before, she laughed! Thankfully, as I was squirming. It hurt so much. Anyone who speak “Chiropractor” it was L10/11.

Friday night, the tram works began out the front of my apartment complex. I did get a 15 second audio sample of what I referred to as the “Soundtrack of my lockdown!” But didn’t save it. (Don’t even start me on that monumental fail!) Here are some photos instead.

The whole street is closed for a week. For all the noise they are making, they had better be making the new tram stop accessible. Progress, you know. I could Fang it out of the garage on hellonwheels and straight onto a tram, to my local appointments. Wouldn’t that be good?

On the upside to the lockdown, currently only 7 days, is I get a 4-day weekend. So much for catching up on what didn’t happen in 2020. At least I’ve got Mika for company next.

Stay safe.

Cheers,
H

Joke from Hellonwheels

Published May 25, 2021 by helentastic67

Joke from Hellonwheels

As you might all be aware of, I’m always busy. Did 2020 put a dint in anything? No.

One of the reasons you could get out in Melbourne during what was known as the toughest lockdown anywhere, to stop the spread of Covid, was medical appointments.

I was out at one yesterday, when I came up with this witty joke.

You remember the days when the military used ear piercing metal music 24/7 to keep their prisoners sleep deprived? Send water boarding? (I know this is wrong, but hang in there?)
So, the new torture device is………..
“Tell us the codes to end the world!”


Do you remember that song?


Your welcome!

Men/Women

Published May 17, 2021 by helentastic67

Men/Women

Sometimes I see the perfect example in name about how men and women differ. This is not to say one is better than the other or worse, however rarely the perfect example presents itself for me to share, so I shall.

I was on a tram heading into the city, in the early evening. It was still Spring, but towards the end of the season. In Melbourne, that translates as flowers, wind, winter, rain, hot, Spring, Spring, Spring, rain. Forty degrees in the shade. That about nails it.

Several of my carers have hay fever for months. A young guy was sniffling a lot on the tram and it was rather unpleasant, not that I gave any indication of disgust.

He got up to check the tram route map and when he sat again, he apologised for sniffling and explained it was hay fever. He had gotten up that morning and had run out of tablets.

Context done.

A woman a week earlier would have noticed, then to fit a visit in somewhere when she was close to a chemist during the week. By day five, let’s imagine Friday, she would have started to consider there had to be a chemist somewhere and she would have gone out of her way to be prepared. Guys – he just plain ran out.

I had not been concerned he was contagious, but I reached out a hand offering him 3 slightly crumpled tissues. I could tell he wanted to take them, but he looked concerned they were not clean. I reassured him I had only just put them in my bag.

I guess I’m a natural born Nona in the mix.

Adapt

Published March 2, 2020 by helentastic67

Adapt

Being one handed, the most important thing I can recommend in order to survive is, learn to adapt.

It’s the day’s I go to the city and I do some hunter/gathering, that I push myself a little more and while it exhausts me, I notice how my physical body adapts.

My standard trips to the city meant a lot more steps and carrying. If I can’t carry it, I can’t buy it. So, I’ve gotten creative.

Yesterday, I bought two novels and a box of envelopes. Not heavy, just cumbersome and sharp corners. These day’s I travel with one of those fold up grandma bags. (Not a slur) but you can carry it around until you need it. It weighs nothing, takes up no space, but once it’s got two novels and inside it, I usually ask someone to help me put the handles on my left arm above where my cuff and collar sits, just on my elbow. The bag swings along my side and doesn’t hit my left thigh.

My next stop I collected comics, they are flat and not very heavy, so they go in my bag that sits on my right glutinous maximus. Slap, slap, slap.

Then I stopped at a chemist and picked up a few things. Definitely the weightiest purchases of the day. I might even have behind packaging to save or bulk. At this point I’ve reached my maximum density.

I’m starting to feel weighed down and I’m walking a little sideways and bumping into people. Or it could just be people on their devices not paying the least bit of attention to where they are.

After a quick pee break where the bag on my left arm stays there to save needing to put it back on. I walk not far to the tram or Bourke Street Mall and I get on the tram.


Waddling like a pregnant lady now, I try to get two seats near a door facing forward. I might start with one seat and the bag sits on my lap, the straps digging into my shoulders. My right leg in the isle making people brush against me. The bag on my left arm is beside me digging into whoever didn’t think to offer me both seats.


• I’ll just point out here I’m not bigger than Texas. I’m just a wide load by this stage.

Thirty-Five minutes later, I’m at my tram stop (Maybe I was able to spread out for the last 15-20 minutes) I stand up on the tram, readjust my bags, the strap on my left shoulder. I carry my walking stick with the wrist strap between my teeth, so it doesn’t bang all over every piece of metal known to man.


Have I mentioned, I can’t do stalker or stealth? I manoeuvre my way to a door, favouring my right side as that’s my better peripheral vision. All the better not to step on or bump into people and while holding on to one handle or another I manage to get to the right-hand door handle. Walking stick still in mouth.


Tram stops, door opens and I swing my left leg out and bending my right knee, step down. I don’t let go until both feet are on the ground. Hoping just hoping people have followed the road rules and cars have actually stopped at the back of the tram. Yeah! That does not always happen.

I then use my walking stick to walk to the curb. Right foot up, lift and swing left leg attempting left toes to clear the curb.


Fast forward to me getting inside my apartment. There have been days I’ve taken off the bags and weighed them and I’m surprised I’ve carried the extra five kilos home from the city.


But the biggest surprise to me is after I’ve unpacked everything and take my extra layers off (jacket, scarf, etc) I’m moving around my home feeling like I’m on a permanent tilt.


So, by gradually adding weight, my body compensates to do what I insist on it and when all of that is gone, my body still acts like it’s needing to adapt to carry the extra weight and that is today’s lesson.


You don’t know what you can do until you try. Do a little more on top of that and a migraine.

Today’s Lunch – 11th December 2019

Published December 11, 2019 by helentastic67

Today’s Lunch

Good Mental Health Day

Today, while still a classic mid-week foodie post I’m giving you a crash course in classic Melbourne weather, we are only 10 days into summer. Part of Australia is on fire! Sydney, is covered in smoke.

And on Monday, Melbourne had a hot day, close to 40 degrees. I was down in Collingwood for my osteo appointment and as we sat around complaining about the oven-like temperature an older gentleman informed us in no uncertain terms we were complaining too much and I quote: “It’s been summer for 6 hours and you are all acting like you are going to die!”  I agreed with him but told him tartly, “you make a fine point except for the fact that two weeks ago we had our second fake winter!”

I’ve been way too busy of late and with carers away on holidays, I’ve had many a call or text to negotiate last minute changes. It’s an ongoing saga. I refer to it as Putting out spitfires! Obviously, preferable to actual fires.

Last week, I had a migraine for days! As I ended up taking a tramadol! And Thursday my carer convinced me to go back to bed. She actually tucked me in. #love my carers

Today, I’m over in the west, in Footscray! (I refer to it as ‘scray!) As I’m at a meeting finishing this post.  Had a visit with Wilbur yesterday.

What? You can’t imagine I can multi-task one-handed? Have you met me? My names Helen! And today’s lunch is…………….some healthy fruit, beetroot dip & crackers.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Note; NO MEDICINE?!!!!!(coffee)

Today’s Lunch – 27th November 2019

Published November 27, 2019 by helentastic67

Today’s Lunch

Good Mental Health Day

Where were we? I had an appointment today with a follow-up at the sleep clinic. Yes! Yes! It’s still going on and I booked an appointment in my 2020 diary today for next September. Looks like I’m carrying around two diaries until January already! Too soon! Just too soon!


Last Thursday night I went to see the world release of film called Spirits in the forest. It was amazing!

https://www.orlandoweekly.com/Blogs/archives/2019/11/20/depeche-modes-spirits-in-the-forest-documents-their-world-tour-at-maitlands-enzian

Take the time to watch it. My favourite quote is when a fan describes seeing Depeche Mode in concert as the closest thing to going to church. My other favourite quote includes a crown and a cape and retiring g the someone. I was not the only person to laugh! They are definitely my favourite band despite the fact they have not toured in Australia since 1994, when I went to the after party and met the band! You heard me!

Here is a quick shout out to my friend William the owner of this vlog! I know not much about V8 Super car, but then I don’t need to? I know someone who does………..

www.williamsperfectride.com

And just before summer hits in Melbourne, these are my first Christmas Lillie’s out on my balcony.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I’m actually currently planning my Christmas at home in Melbourne rather than going to the country. To be continued on that front…….

But it really feels a calmer week this week so today’s lunch is a nice change, so today’s lunch is the Moroccan chicken salad with medicine!

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