Menopause

All posts tagged Menopause

Dark

Published February 28, 2020 by helentastic67

Dark

Okay, going full dark today and I’m not feeling depressed in any way while I write this. Quite the opposite really, but I will suggest I’m going to lose my male followers, before too long, much to their loss.

5, 4, 3, 2,

Most of my carers these days are older than me and a few of my friends. Which is great! Fine! Great, I’m not complaining because they bring a wealth of womanly advice.

And 1

Bet the guys are all gone.

Every month or so, the ladies and I get stuck on the topic of Crazy-Lady hormones.

Any guys still reading? Hit me with a like or a comment if you still are.

So, ladies this post is about sliding into the ‘Pause’ (yes Menopause) Apart from the irregular periods (shark week) and the heavy one month, light the next or the all-out ‘all the Crazy symptoms and a complete no-show of obvious. It came, no babies (said 1 young carer years ago)

One of my older carers and I used to share a conversation and you have all heard these stories.

Back in the day, picture the 60’s and theirs a couple chatting about their mutual friends. Two couples married around the same time, raised their children around the same time, holidayed together, worked together, did casserole night, you know, you get the picture. Then all of sudden, it goes full dark.

“Oh, I don’t know what happened, they were perfectly happy, married fifteen years, little ‘whoopsie’ was good at cricket (or whatever sport of the day) and then all of a sudden, he came home one day after work while she was cooking dinner and she just stabbed him to death. The Coroners report stated he was stabbed forty-seven times.

And now she lives in a mental asylum.

Scene end!

So, my carer and I share a look and a smile and this is the important part, if the guys kept reading.

Menopause SUCKS!

Here’s what the wife dealt with that day, the kids, the housework, the shopping, cooking, ironing, laundry, the crazy itching, the hot flushes one moment and then the cool the next. The kids. And then the husband comes home and complained about why was it so cold inside?

Read the room. Don’t mess with a woman who has limited control over what is going on with her hormones.

She doesn’t know what’s going on.

Ergo, case in point.

Stabbed forty-seven times.

You are welcome.

Today’s Lunch – 28th August 2019

Published August 28, 2019 by helentastic67

Today’s Lunch
Good Mental Health Day

It’s come around again! It’s that time of the month, when I am emotionally brittle and have my monthly migraine! Just as Mother Nature ordered! So help me GOD! (Sorry)

 


As I’m sliding into the Pause, Shark week doesn’t always happen, but it seems all the other symptoms come around like clockwork, right on time. I spend a day confused and over thinking the whole “I can’t afford to live past 65/I will never own my own home/Will I die alone surrounded by cats and half eaten by an Alsatian?/Grieving Original Helen/Finding my new identity” and this emotion lasts all day, only to be replaced by a stabbing eye-gouging pain behind my left eye(my version of a migraine these days!) and I struggle to find the motivation to move off my couch. Even though if I get through dinner, I am just a little closer to getting back to bed.


Alas, yesterday, being at home with appointments I made something num-num (tasty) lunch. Here is my panini-pressed light rye bread with salami, cherry tomatoes, marinated split green olives, marinated black kalamata olives and 4 different cheeses! Because, why wouldn’t you? Hello! A slice of tasty coon, Camembert (or as I call it: Bert!), Feta and a slice of Kraft Plastic cheese. Which reminds me of my childhood and it looked like this!

Note, how flattening it makes it so much easier to eat.

But one thing that has made me very, very happy lately is this!

You know those albums, where as soon as it ends your soul feels empty until you put it on again? And again! And again! Give it a listen. There is something in it for everyone…….it’s like a score that ebbs and flows.

Today I’ve got a full crazy day of chiropractor, then acupuncture, then physio and I guess today’s offering? So, punchy/stabby and electric-shocky! Guess I should do it on a full tummy! Today’s offering, Pancetta Quiche, my medicine and a complimentary Macaron.

 

 

Here’s Mika with her new friend. Mika and the Unicorn! Also, a great band name, si?

Cheers,
H
*Original Helen is every version of Helen before whatever this fucked up shit is?
I’ll have something more cheerful on Friday. Promise!

And hit Like!

Today’s Lunch – 19th September 2018

Published September 19, 2018 by helentastic67

Todays Lunch

Today’s Lunch

Good Mental Health Day

Another busy week, a whole lotta crazy! What’s new, right? Monday, I did 5,000 steps. Yeah, I’m a step-counter, at 45 and steps are still important. Oh and today is International talk like a pirate day! Ah, yah! Yes, me hearties.

Pirate talk

Very happily was down at my regular cafe yesterday and got to have one of my favourites, the almond croissant and medicine!

Almond Crossaint

Got to see my GP, who gave me a print out of my latest blood tests. He confirmed my liver is ok (I wasn’t thinking I had pickled it I was previously told I had a fatty liver!) that can’t be good right? But now it’s all good! I’m happy to even donate my liver!

Liver

One of my friends mentioned to me this week when you are sliding into the Pause, your weight fluctuates. I smartly asked, “when does it go down?”

Menopause

I confess I got lazy today and had a kip before leaving home to do “person”. I stayed local closer to home. And my two appointments. Getting stabbed and tortured by my beautician.

Doing person

Today’s offering, a Mediterranean focaccia. (Mina cut it up for me, she’s so sweet!) Medicine and this little pecan tart.

Med FoccaciaLatte

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And lastly, I think I should mention Mika my companion cat might be getting a name change to include Houdini, maybe a middle name? We will build on it.

Mika 2

Last Friday, I let my carer out via the car park and returned upstairs, when I went back inside and locked the door Mika made her escape and I didn’t realise for several more hours! Eventually having looked everywhere inside including inside the pantry and the European laundry I checked out in the hallway. Saw my neighbour and as I’ve only met her once or twice she offered to come in and help me find her. She is a nurse who works night-shift. Hence why I never see her.  Now you know I asked if she had eaten? I make my Nona proud every time!

Nona

As I had sent out my texts to my other neighbours to collect muffins there was a knock at my door and Will stood there and suggested they had something in their apartment that might belong to me? I’m sorry, I blurted out “Do you have my fucking cat?” His partner wanted to keep Mika and Mika wasn’t much interested in me or returning home. She had to be caught and carried and not by me.  Now don’t hate me, however, my new fur-child is not food-orientated. So, when I had been banging around in my kitchen she had not surfaced and she had not noticed me putting out her food.

Mika 1
Mika has not had a collar but she’s getting one this week and it’s going to look like a charm bracelet, with those things. So, she if found roaming the halls, please return to, “xyz!”

Cat bling

I’m also imagining her out in the hallway thinking all the doors look exactly the same! Feeling like a bad fur-parent!

Bad Fur parent

Cheers,
H

Hump Day

Grumpy

Published May 28, 2018 by helentastic67

Grumpy

Grumpy

I confess to say, on some days I make my carers laugh before they even get in the front door. I generally sleep until my carer rings the doorbell and wakes me. I know, what a princess, I usually wake and go back to sleep from only hours after I go to bed, so it’s weird sleep and any coma-like sleep I get from 7am until my carer arrives and rings the doorbell is maybe going to wake me.

I stumble out of bed towards the front door, usually calling out “Hang on”. Beside the front door are panels of glass, so I sometimes see them raise their arm to press the doorbell again. I let out a low growl. I’m sure my neighbours must think these women who come and go laughing must think I am mad.

Getting out of bed

At other times like this morning, Aunty Christine (one of my carers I’ve had for the last four years) was grumpy. She has been overworked and recent leave, she has taken off work, to be a full-time carer at home for family and stressing about all of that.

Auntie Christine

I’ve been stressed about life, the Universe and everything also, so while sitting on the edge of the bath while waiting to get dried, I had time to have a little scratch.

Scratching

I scratch just about everywhere I could reach with my right hand. It’s kinda what I do when anxious, it’s also been hot, so some might be heat rash.

Anxiety Scratching

Out comes the Tea Tree Oil and the moisturiser. She prepares to do the oil on my back. The other carers have been neglectful.

Aunty Christine has a little swear about that. (We have set up a standard where she only does this with me and no other clients. I’m very much OK with it) We move to the lounge and she picks up my AFO. She picks it up by a part that was added on after it was made. It was meant to solve a problem that wouldn’t have existed, if they had made what they were meant to make the first time, instead of a ‘Piss-Arse’ effort that caused me more problems than solved.

Swearing

Christine has a swear about the AFO’s also. I tell her it’s getting completely replaced Thursday, one whole day away. She threatens to bring her glue gun to fix it.

She notices my toe nails are a bit long, we had already discussed my scratching, my heat rash on my weak arm, back and side. Basically, anywhere I could reach with my right hand. Again, my nails are being attended to on Thursday. Nothing too expensive or extravagant, just maintenance I can’t do and I’m not allowed to have my carers to do for me.

Long toe nails

Those humans I choose to interact with and the teasing make life all worth while. Make sure teasing is teasing though and don’t take it too far. That’s when it becomes bullying. Very fine line!

Tera Toons

And now, as time has passed I’m now aware the scratching is partly to do with me sliding into the Pause…….(menopause)

MenopauseSuper! Right?

It just gets better and better……..

Gets Better

 

Hot Flushes

Published April 2, 2018 by helentastic67

Hot Flushes

Hot Flushes

Went shopping today with one of my regular carers of the last four years and our adventures are always a highlight of my week. Despite when you read this, it’s mid-January now and Summer.

My carer and I walked out of the shopping complex and because it’s important I did an instant commentary of the weather. First an assessing frown and “OH?” It’s a little humid, but a cool breeze and a little light rain. To which ’T’ (let’s go with that) responded with something about her hot flushes and an advisement, that you should be able to flip a switch and opt out of Menopause.

Menopause

And the banter had just begun.

“Well, I think your well past that option.”

T, still in fantasy land, so I tried again.

“OK, what if you sacrificed one of your children?”

She has three sons and one of course is the problem child. All adults now, but she loves them all the same.

My Three Sons

She made a little sound like her decision would be easy and I told her she could not choose. I suggested, if she didn’t paint some of her husband’s blood above the front door, she would lose her first born. She did not like that suggestion and it wasn’t the part about blood-letting her husband.

Blood Letting

She enquired where this has happened and when? Accompanied with the query “Does that really happen?”

“What?”

I looked at her and told her where I had taken some of my inspiration and imagination from and declared nine years of Catholic School, such influence. I emphasised the “nine years” and pointed my thumb to my chest and I thought Catholic School has been a waste of my time.

Catholic School 1

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