All posts tagged Motivation


Published December 3, 2018 by helentastic67



I have a problem! Yeah, I know I have plenty, but in this case, it is my inability to go to bed and go to sleep by 2am at times.

Getting to bed

This is not a new thing for me and depression and chronic pain skewed my sleeping patterns, go hand in hand.

Sleep Pattern

I have had ridiculous sleeping patterns since my late teens, but these days I find I need to explain why I’ve fallen into this diabolical pattern.

Diabolical Pattern


I mean I won’t die, going to bed at 2am. However, it really very much impacts everything the next day, how well my brains is rested, my left leg works etc. So, I explain it like this, having one hand, not being able to dry myself, dress my self (very well), the brain strain it takes to do simple things like prepare breakfast (yes, I can, however painfully) hunger is a great motivator, all I’m saying.

Simple tasks

But, during the day, I’m out and doing the things, like going to appointments that keep me moving independently and fed. I text and cull emails or some quick phone calls when out on trams heading home, so I save time later. I get home, I really want to crash and face-plant and sleep, but I have learned that sleep at this point is bad. I get here and I do the chores that keep my home and life going, bring in washing, unpack/repack dishwasher etc.


I generally need time to rest and decompress. I have a coffee, even if it’s my second for the day and it’s 6pm. No it doesn’t keep me awake, no, don’t argue, it really doesn’t. I have some Italian blood after all.

Italian blood

Then, I get ahead of my “Brain Training” or what I consider my brain training. (you an ask me in other forums, I really can’t mention in my blog). Then I watch a few shows I feel keep me in touch with the real world.

Brain Training

But I digress. The evening is filled with hours of TV and some social media stuff and emails, let alone the admin/case notes I do every day, so if needed I can be billed correctly, I message friends so I can keep in touch with people I love.

I Digress

At some point I realise, should I eat dinner? Yes! It’s probably as late as 11pm.

You see the slippery slope to hell now? I prepare something tasty, lazy, but healthy and I get back to admin and emails. I like to have a cuppa T (yes cup of tea) and a brain numbing horror or two of TV to help wind down and switch off

Late night dinner

Before I know it, it’s 2am.

I’m working on it, I swear…

Working on it



Published November 21, 2016 by helentastic67

Lack of motivation


Plenty to write about at the moment, just lacking the motivation to do so. Sometimes, the living life and dealing with idiots gets to me. There’s the daily carers on those days I aim to be presentable to get out of the house, the call to keep those things ticking over! The constant negotiations to keep even those things to happen. And hoping and praying that at the end of the month, I have the money to pay the rent on time! I like to pay things on or before the due date. I don’t like having to rely on others to do more than I need them to, so I’m disappointed or let down.


Right now, I’m mentally preparing for my 2nd appeal for my Pension and the debt. I’m hoping I can appeal to their humanity (I know, I’m crazy) because no matter how it goes on the day, if it’s a positive outcome, my mum will claim victory and if it’s a negative outcome, my mum will interrogate me as to what I said and that it was somehow pivotal to their decision.


I hope what I say expressed to them how their decision will impact if I have to move (AGAIN) if I will need to live further from my comfort zone, in a less safe area! Further from the services I rely on and even if I can afford to buy the 2 new pairs of pants I wear all year round, but time getting new ones, just in time for winter when I need the added warmth more. Two new pairs cost less than $100.00 and I’m struggling with the concept that this is not the world I want to live in!


But I can’t afford to survive or live anywhere else!

My hand is numb! Stopping now!




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