Grumpy

Grumpy

I need to have a grumpy rant!

So, if you can’t cope, skip this post now, but if you can hang in there, it might give you some understanding of why I swear in my posts so much.

That said, you should be prepared for some F*** Bombs. I’m currently house hunting, AGAIN!

I know, I know, I’ve lived here for four years, which in the last twenty-five years is my limit and I’ve only lived in four houses for four years each, so you can imagine the rest of that time I’ve bounced around a bit.

I‘ve been meaning to write about how I’ve been preparing to say goodbye to my friends. My friends being the five or so carers. I’m about to lose because I’ve now got the NDIS and I’ve got to start using my funding through an Agency and then there’s the painful process of “Training” new girls.

I’ve had to implement “Grumpy Helen” to do this, I am hating the “System” I live in where, if you fit some particular criteria, you get funding and assistance thrown at you.

Let me give you an example:

Are you Aboriginal or Torres Strait Islander?
Are you a refugee?

Hear me when I say, I appreciate why refugees need assistance, however, WHAT ABOUT ME?

I mean and they advertise assistance for these groups and so on. I have been told by people (carers) that they have other clients who live in private rental and when I ask how, they can’t tell me.

I rang a few places a few years ago that were recommended to me and no one could assist me. Today I sat with my CM (Case Manager) Dave and he told me of a “thing” for want of a better word, it is an organisation and acts similarly to a Real Estate agent and they have properties cheaper than the private rental market.

Ok, all the properties are miles from me or anywhere I need to live, however maybe I can have my property added to this program? Who funds this scheme? DHS

This is another Government Agency – called already. Department of Human Services, who manage Public Housing.

So how come, if they find all these other agencies to deliver programs and dole out assistance – how come no one could would tell me about this scheme?

I noticed with some regret, I am yet to swear in this post, that I promised or suggested it was likely I would swear. So, allow me to remedy that.

FUCK! FUCK! FUCKETY! FUCK!

Sigh, that feels better.

And I’m back.

I’ve found something fun to do in my neighbourhood, that is an evening thing. In my neighbourhood and I can’t find anyone to go with me. It would seem everybody else gets funded to do ‘fun-things’.  I can’t and I can’t even find a friend to go with me, am I going to have to pay a carer to go?

Oh that “event” is Midge nMe from Ultravox. For those who need Google and Wiki, I’ll help by sending you back to the 80’s and mentioning Synth-Pop and if your parents don’t cope with your music taste, they would probably cope with Ultravox.

OK, feel like I’ve maybe mentioned this before, but just in case, caught up with a Numpty-friend late last year. That translates to another friend with an ABI.

I mentioned another Numpty-friend had gotten into Public Housing in my old suburb. This is when I get livid to the agency of Public Housing in that neighbourhood. I outright call them liars, as I had been opposite some Public Housing and I knew there was new Public Housing this other person had been accepted to. The friend I was with told me the lucky person had been bragging a few years ago that they’d bought a house. So how did they qualify for Public Housing?

OK, I miss “cable internet”, I don’t know if I need to say anything else on this to pick. The house I rented before here, I was offered Cable Internet as it was available in that area. Is that a stupid question? So, I got it.

I lived there for fourteen months, beautiful house. Needed a housemate who could pay half the rent and I held in there as long as I could and that’s why I moved here. No housemate required. I’m sure you feel my pain.

After going out to my kitchen to cook dinner at about 10pm, I noticed a huge light in the sky. OMG it’s a full moon.

That Mother Nature has a lot to answer for.

 

Why I Blog

Why I Blog?

If you have been wondering with a weird array of randomness, what Hellonwheels is all about? Wait no longer, this is why, here is the answer.

Since my diagnosis in 2007? (I don’t know! It’s been a blur) I’ve met many people with ABI/TBI/general fuckwit-ism and it has led me to query, what means what?

Example;

When I first started going to ABI groups socially, because society loves to put you in contact with people with the “same” issues you have. (Please note eye-roll!) I walked in and young men and old flocked towards me, I felt like a Spice Girl in the mid-90’s. One guy, let’s call him ‘Fred’ (because it’s been a while) made it clear to take me under his wing. We got chatting, as you do and as you do you talk about your life before the ABI.

I mentioned my Club years and that’s always a big topic. But, push came to shove and after a little young woman joined us and I was introduced. Lovely younger lady, also with an ABI. Make mental note; got to be careful or might end up ‘paired-up’ with another numpty like me before long if I’m not careful. I didn’t say this reason/story would be simple so stay with me.

Totally worth it, Promise.

Over time, I participated in activities at this group and I supported people and they supported me, so all is well. Became friends with Fred and others outside this group. (it’s inevitable: stuff sticks sometimes) Fred had gotten his TBI from pure fuckwitedness (as I like to consider it) his girlfriend was lucky to be alive having been hit by a car crossing the street. But, unlike her boyfriend, she had not had a typical young adult life, like he had, had before his TBI, because she had, had hers at 17 years-old.

He also liked to bond with me because I had been ‘there’ (Clubs/parties) and I remember it. I wasn’t drunk and off my face like nearly everyone else.

Overtime, I became a bit more of a mentor to Fred. I was friendly to his girlfriend, also she was none the wiser. He was also finding excuses to visit socially. FYI: I don’t socialize at 11pm at night, that’s my time.

He even had a gay friend drop him over for a coffee one afternoon on a weekend and I was told to ‘look’ after him.

I hope you are getting that he seemed to have told people, I might have been a potential ‘whatever/girlfriend’ when in reality it was always a HELL NO.

I decided to discuss this situation with a friend who worked in the industry who was familiar with all of us and our past history etc, her advice to me was.

‘Oh, you should go out with him, because before his ABI, he had four or five girlfriends at a time. Now he’s only got one or two.’

WTF!

Um, I hope you realise, I would not have dated more than one guy at a time before my diagnosis, let alone date a guy who thought he could date more than one woman at a time, I certainly wouldn’t now.

I am also aware I am no longer some Jennifer Hawkins type, now or before my disability, however I’m still not prepared to lower my standards and just accept some broken bit of road kill.

Make mental note: Explain Helen’s definition of Road Kill later.

So, back to my point. Yes, apparently it is said, people retain their personality after their ABI/TBI what did I call it? That they had before their (as above).

Now, this is why I blog.

If I’ve always had my ABI (AVM), have I developed this personality, because of my AVM or despite my AVM?

BAM! There I’ve done it.