All posts tagged pain

Today’s Lunch – 28th August 2019

Published August 28, 2019 by helentastic67

Today’s Lunch
Good Mental Health Day

It’s come around again! It’s that time of the month, when I am emotionally brittle and have my monthly migraine! Just as Mother Nature ordered! So help me GOD! (Sorry)


As I’m sliding into the Pause, Shark week doesn’t always happen, but it seems all the other symptoms come around like clockwork, right on time. I spend a day confused and over thinking the whole “I can’t afford to live past 65/I will never own my own home/Will I die alone surrounded by cats and half eaten by an Alsatian?/Grieving Original Helen/Finding my new identity” and this emotion lasts all day, only to be replaced by a stabbing eye-gouging pain behind my left eye(my version of a migraine these days!) and I struggle to find the motivation to move off my couch. Even though if I get through dinner, I am just a little closer to getting back to bed.

Alas, yesterday, being at home with appointments I made something num-num (tasty) lunch. Here is my panini-pressed light rye bread with salami, cherry tomatoes, marinated split green olives, marinated black kalamata olives and 4 different cheeses! Because, why wouldn’t you? Hello! A slice of tasty coon, Camembert (or as I call it: Bert!), Feta and a slice of Kraft Plastic cheese. Which reminds me of my childhood and it looked like this!

Note, how flattening it makes it so much easier to eat.

But one thing that has made me very, very happy lately is this!

You know those albums, where as soon as it ends your soul feels empty until you put it on again? And again! And again! Give it a listen. There is something in it for everyone…….it’s like a score that ebbs and flows.

Today I’ve got a full crazy day of chiropractor, then acupuncture, then physio and I guess today’s offering? So, punchy/stabby and electric-shocky! Guess I should do it on a full tummy! Today’s offering, Pancetta Quiche, my medicine and a complimentary Macaron.



Here’s Mika with her new friend. Mika and the Unicorn! Also, a great band name, si?

*Original Helen is every version of Helen before whatever this fucked up shit is?
I’ll have something more cheerful on Friday. Promise!

And hit Like!


Published January 11, 2019 by helentastic67

junkies 1


Today I thought I’d have a bit of a grumpy rant about Junkies and I’ll premise this post by quoting Russell Brand when he appeared on Alan Carr’s Grand National Spectacular.

alan carr

If you are not familiar with his show, he’s from the UK and he’s night time show is similar to the American late-night shows and he starts the show offering his guest a beverage that he throws together at his drinks tray.

alan carr drinks

Now, Russell Brand has very publicly quit all of his bad habits and advocated to Governments about the problems of living as a heroin junky and such.

russell brand

So, there is that awkward moment where Alan Carr turns to his guest and prompts him with a “Oh, now you have a problem with…..?” Bit of an open-ended question. Very awkward.

now you have a problem

But rather brilliantly, Russell Brand responds with “I didn’t have a problem with drugs and alcohol” “I had a problem dealing with Life Problems” and I find that I greatly admire Russell Brand for that infinite wisdom.

lifes problems

So, it’s with infinite annoyance as not having a problem “dealing with life/pills/drugs/alcohol” that when I went to the chemist a month ago to get my over the counter packet of Panadeine, side bar, Panadeine, pretty low on Opiate list and it takes me months to get through a packet of 24, as I skip out my Panadol (very low grade opiate) for period pain as I’m not allowed to have blood thinners.

low grade opiates

NO MORE NAPROGESIC or as one pharmacist I have known call them the “Special Blue Pill, that stop us killing men” once at the chemist, I was informed I now needed a script for Panadeine.


Damn Junkies

Of course, the pharmacist came over and in front of the regular chic, I mostly get to see at the chemist, comes over to recommend another option off the shelf. I mention I can’t do blood thinners and when anyone starts mentioning Codeine and “whatever” my eyes glaze over.

eyes glazed over 1

I mention my baseline pain management is Panamax and that during my crazy-lady hormone time I swap out the Panamax for Panadeine. But I’ll get a script and this month I’ll hit it with some Oxy norm (5mg high on the Opiate family tree, but only takes the edge off serious pain for me for three hours).

pain relief 1

The regular woman immediately laughed appreciating my humour. The pharmacist looked somewhat concerned and I think I only got exempted from a lecture about being careful etc, because the other lady laughed.

pharmacy lecture

And I got a script.

I returned to the chemist a week later with said script and was informed there was a problem at the manufacturers, so no appropriate pain relief again.

no pain relief

I gave it a rest for a few weeks before revisiting the chemist, only to be informed the script was rendered useless, because they had discontinued. I was offered other, other options and codeine and other words were bandied about. (My brain just goes to sleep)

pain relief

I don’t want to have to think about other options, I can’t do blood thinners. Why do I keep having to have the same conversation?

get home

Fine!  I’ll go home and hit my pain with some (Oxy norm) and a sledge hammer.

Apparently now, I can get Panadeine Extra and guess what I need, a different script. FARK!!!

Luckily, I book my GP every four to six weeks and even if I rang him, he would happily send me a script. But my point is, JUNKIES and their inability to deal with life (thanks Russell Brand) I had to jump through hoops to get.

jump through hoops

Furthermore, ironically when I started writing this post a week ago, in the back room of my favourite café, where I overhear the usual first world problems.

Three older ladies at a table beside me were discussing their ‘Problem Child’. The way she was speaking, I imagined said child to be around seven and maybe on the Autism Spectrum? I imagine Autism to be diagnosed earlier than that and I also imagine this woman to be too old to have seven-year-old. Not being “Ageist” but also imagined she was talking about a grandchild, because there was a slight sense of ‘distance’ in how she was discussing the ‘issue’.

problem child

So, write busy, eating, drinking and writing several pages of this post, I soaked up the conversation around me and managed not to react. (I’ve been accused at work years ago of having Dumbo Ears. Well, in my defence you do learn by osmosis in some work environments)

dumbo ears

So, the problem child, I’ll give it to you straight, seventeen years old, male, addicted to gaming. Um? Yes, it’s an addiction when you have to have your internet cut off at midnight so your teenage kids sleep. Sure, but seventeen-year-old boy.

addicted to gaming

Poor kid, was getting slammed for doing what a lot of teenage boys (sometimes grown men) do for oddly, their social down time.

So, yeah, also my eye rolls that this mum was putting her son’s addiction to computer games in the same league as Heroin.

eye roll

I have two words for how to snap teenagers out of their habits of too much gaming. Adult diapers. That should snap them right out of it, no.

adult diapers

Oddly having struggled to get any sugar from the sugar dispenser, I had helped myself to sugar from the ladies table, I had struggled so much, I gave up.


I couldn’t be bothered asking for their help so had given up, eventually, Gabriella came to clear the tables and I mentioned the sugar bottle being blocked and I asked the ladies beside me if they had trouble with getting any sugar? I was informed they hadn’t even used the sugar and the look I received as if I had a ‘Problem’ with sugar. I have half a teaspoon, hardly a problem.

“Several months later I am horrified to realise the solution now called Panadeine Extra, comes in a 24 packet and costs me $16 and I use half of this over a 3-day time frame.

panadeine extra

My other scripts only cost me $6.50 each. And then there’s everything else I take to keep me healthy I pay out of pocket, that I can’t get on a script.


I am aware this sounds like first world problems but I don’t have the option to not get medications and vitamins and the like. These things keep me healthy. Keeping healthy keeps a roof over my head and my independence. That’s how I deal with life issues!

stay healthy

I’m not drowning my sorrows in a bottle, yet when others do it, it still impacts me too.


Hot off the Press – 7th August 2017

Published August 7, 2017 by helentastic67

Hot off the Press 070817

Hot off the Press coming to you through a week-long migraine.

Was lucky I had a 4-day weekend, Monday and Tuesday, I’ve been suffering some diary dyslexia. It’s my term for when two people are not booking the same day/date so I miss out on appointments. Monday night I was actually in bed by 11pm so this is a sign I might have been dying.
Tuesday I didn’t even have my medicine. (Coffee) as someone was due to drop over for coffee and they didn’t……..

My chiro has stopped asking what colour I want. Because I’d either say “black! Got any blacker?” Or “Give me the one that hurts the most when it comes off!” Of course, we both laugh!

Shoulder strapping

Three days later, I peel off the tape in the shower when its wet. If I’m lucky the light fuzz of hair has not grown back yet from the last time. I know, I’m not growing carpet back there but we all have light hair there. Oh, so the tape is to do the job of those muscles that don’t work. I would wear it all the time but, then the muscles would never work so its purpose is to give those muscles a break. And the muscles to my neck wont struggle so much. And maybe my migraine will give me a break as well.

You may have noticed a lack of my standard Wednesday mental health foodie post?
That was because I had company my friend Susanne. We both ordered the same thing, the Zaffaro Arancini with the side salad and a latte. I don’t often have company so it’s nice to take advantage of company and put comics and posts aside and we might eventually catch up on the backlog of my scribbling? No, probably never.


Saturday morning, finally quit my damn email at 2am, I decided it was time to switch off the brain and single task. I have no idea who is turning up in the morning for my PC (personal Care) my carer provider is damn lucky I don’t name and shame.


Several months ago, you might recall a house across from me went to auction. A two-bedroom BV.
So, yeah. There was an auction across the road 3 months ago. It was a typical 70’s wog BV (that’s Brick Veneer for people who didn’t grow up with a carpenter as a dad, a grandfather and several others) it sold for practically 1.1 million. Two mornings ago, they started ripping it down. They are fast! And at one point, the earth moved! I wondered if I should huddle in a doorway or the bath. FYI; we don’t get earthquakes or tornado’s in OZ. If that’s your thing, come on down! And today I opened my front door to see this!
Yeah! A big yellow box that it not for growing plants in.

Big Yellow Box








Only read ‘A’ comic last week.  It all things considered…. migraine. I think I can be forgiven?
Also, I hit a blogging milestone last week! I now have 100 followers. As I convinced Susanne to follow so she wouldn’t miss any.

Single girl date night was substituted with a binge fest of a Melbourne show called, Offspring, I save up 3 episodes for an evening of pure unadulterated viewing. It’s the weird family dynamics where everyone gets way too involved in everyone’s lives. If Nina’s acting weird the extended family members want to join in to witness some crazy adventure. Best take away quote was “party pash and a poke!” Or something like that, it’s filmed on my side of town which is cool.


Lastly, because I have been recently asked to explain my single status……..I am single because I’m fussy! And I no longer pick up roadkill! Because roadkill don’t always become decent human beings…….I shall plan better another time.

Single status
So for another busy week!

And that’s it for another week.

Impulse Control

Published July 7, 2017 by helentastic67

Impulse Control

Impulse Control

So, there are times I’m at a clinic where there is little privacy. Such as my acupuncturist and physio work simultaneously. At times, you zone out, like when you work in an open-air office. You hear someone telling the Physiotherapist explaining the pain someone is experiencing is coming from somewhere completely different. After some massage of the affected area, they are sent on their way and I hear them ask “what if it keeps hurting?” And I hear him say to stop what they are doing. My impulse control proves lacking when I mutter from behind the curtain “more pain” insane!

More pain

Other times, a woman asks the younger physio if he’s going to use needles. He joyfully responds “first we’re going to electrocute you! Then we’re going to stab you!” He does dry needling. She murmurs her reply…

Again, waiting to create some humour, I call out “put me down for some of that.” And they laugh

To be clear, I’ve heard that physio use that line dozens of times and I could help it no longer.

Other times my impulse control is very useful for others present.

In my late 20’s I was sitting in a GP’s clinic waiting room in the country. A mum came in with her son, who was about 6 years old, my mum was there also. The young boy asked his mum a very strange question. “Mum, what’s an Orgasm?”

Out of the mouths of babes

Oh, dear God! She looked so uncomfortable. I raised my hand off my knee in a gesture and met her eyes and offered “I can do that one if you like?” She let me take it, but I’m sure she was holding her breathe, I looked at the boy and said “You know when you’re going to sneeze? And it feels really good, but you’re not sure if you’re going to sneeze? It builds up? Eventually you sneeze and you are relieved?”Snee


The boy looked at me like he understood and he seemed happy.

The mum looked equally relieved.

Kinda felt like I’d had an Atticus Finch moment as I’d explained the sensation without divulging too much. He must have heard the word somewhere. (I don’t know where the 6-year-old kid heard the word Orgasm…)

I’m sure my mum thought I’d not have gotten involved. Sometime, I think my problem with certain thoughts work out better than expected….

Noah the end

Hot off the Press – 15th May 2017

Published May 15, 2017 by helentastic67

Here is the news 150517

Wow! What a painful week! And here’s where I struggle to tell it in dot points so I’m still motivated enough to unpack the shit that was in an actual post you can read in well, some time from now…….

Painful week

Same as last week really, Osteo/Mio/Remedial/Chiropractor/Acupuncture….& Physio!

And when I got to the Physio it was she that was opinionated enough to tell me I was doing too much and how was I to know what was helping?

Hear from the NDIA (National Disability Insurance Agency) this week they couldn’t justify a review to help pay for my Shrink (sorry, Psychologist) or my Chiropractor or my friggin’ shoes!

Apparently, none of these things are from my original diagnosis: WTF!

I don’t know about anybody else but I didn’t have the need of a Shrink! (I know, I prefer to call her that as it sounds more like I’m crazy?) or need my weekly Chiropractic appointments until my body decided every little thing I took for granted before it wouldn’t do without paying me back in weird ways….. Like reaching and closing the car door puts my ribs out?

Or the underlying migraine I’ve had for the last week?

And by Friday, the Physio was proved right! I hate that so much….. because it hurt to weight-bare on my left leg. As in sharp pains shooting up from my foot to everywhere in my body. And I do mean everywhere! By Friday evening I had booked another appointment with my Chiropractor on Saturday….Need I remind everyone Saturday is my Off-Grid day? No email, no social media….no adult, no responsibility, no bra or shoes! And therefore, I rarely leave the house on a Saturday…. I did all of those things including spending $50 the NDIA doesn’t seem necessary just so I could only late today (Sunday) move around my home without my walking stick for short periods of time!)


Sore body

I did implement Single Girl Date Night reasonably successfully, I watched two films I had recorded on my Toppy.

Single girl

In simple terms, it means I can record two channels at once on live TV while watching something previously recorded.

Good to record films & comedy….. Then watch whenever you like, while skipping the ads.

I didn’t watch anything ground-breaking this week, the films were “The Longest Ride” and “Cowboys & Aliens”. If you haven’t heard much about these films there is good reason. The first was a love story. The end! The second was what you get when you are a beautiful actress, retired 007! And Harrison Ford. My point is none of them (beautiful  or not) no longer need to work and it seems they thought, let’s do a cowboy and ‘What the Hell’ film because we don’t need to make money…….or I’m being very cynical. In short.

Cowboys and aliens

Finished 13 Reasons Why finally proving to be a tough week!

13 Reasons Why. Really well done. Challenging to watch but well worth it for anyone still undecided.

13 Reasons Why

13 Reasons Why (stylized onscreen as Th1rteen R3asons Why) is an American drama-mystery web television series ba…


Started watching season two of Billions with Damien Lewis this week also. I have a habit of not watching some shows until I have the whole season.

And to update, I actually read a whole comic today in one go! Ok, considering migraine all week this was a win. And there was the added pressure to report I’d read at least one considering I still head to my comic store once every few months to collect my order. I’ll try to read one tomorrow since I’ve decided I need a long weekend.

Reading comics

So, finally I guess I did do too much last week so I’ll be skipping Physio for a few weeks to give my body a break. And it didn’t help she played Devil’s Advocate suggesting the NDIA shouldn’t need to buy me shoes when everyone wears and buys shoes. Which was fine when I could wear my Adidas Gazelles at the cost of $130 a pair and I bought 2-3 pairs a year……But now I need medically approved shoes at $460 a pair and should have the option of two pairs, it shouldn’t be too much to ask I can’t and don’t buy my own shoes…..


If all goes well by this time tomorrow my food parcel will be safely in Sydney in Noelle’s hands.

Food Parcel

I shall save my brush this week with a famous chef for a full-blown post. Stay tuned!


New week charge


Dumb Down

Published September 30, 2016 by helentastic67


Dumb Down

There have been three occasions I’ve been in an Ambulance in the middle of the night to go to hospital and a third where my mum took me to hospital in her racing car, but that led to an aeroplane ride but that can wait!

Generally, anytime I have to go to hospital when it’s an emergency, I am feeling beyond ‘seedy’. My head generally hurts so much I’ve already taken every pain killer I can that should work and maybe a sleeping pill so I can try to sleep it off.


If that fails and because I live alone, I might go to hospital so I don’t wake up dead the next morning, if it’s more than I think it is.

Once at the hospital and the customary poking and prodding and interrogation, I’m usually given a few more pills, oxygen and a warm blanket.

They usually let me sleep and the next day when the staff are in and before they release me they will do a C.T. scan to confirm their suspicions. And that is that, I just have some brain swelling/I did too much/I need to rest and sleep.

I love when they go to do the C.T. scan and to remind me (as if they have to) the difference between a CT and an MRI.

In case you don’t know,

“The CT scan is when you get rolled into the big donut or as I see it (lifesaver) and the MRI is the BIG TUNNEL!



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