All posts tagged Problem


Published December 3, 2018 by helentastic67



I have a problem! Yeah, I know I have plenty, but in this case, it is my inability to go to bed and go to sleep by 2am at times.

Getting to bed

This is not a new thing for me and depression and chronic pain skewed my sleeping patterns, go hand in hand.

Sleep Pattern

I have had ridiculous sleeping patterns since my late teens, but these days I find I need to explain why I’ve fallen into this diabolical pattern.

Diabolical Pattern


I mean I won’t die, going to bed at 2am. However, it really very much impacts everything the next day, how well my brains is rested, my left leg works etc. So, I explain it like this, having one hand, not being able to dry myself, dress my self (very well), the brain strain it takes to do simple things like prepare breakfast (yes, I can, however painfully) hunger is a great motivator, all I’m saying.

Simple tasks

But, during the day, I’m out and doing the things, like going to appointments that keep me moving independently and fed. I text and cull emails or some quick phone calls when out on trams heading home, so I save time later. I get home, I really want to crash and face-plant and sleep, but I have learned that sleep at this point is bad. I get here and I do the chores that keep my home and life going, bring in washing, unpack/repack dishwasher etc.


I generally need time to rest and decompress. I have a coffee, even if it’s my second for the day and it’s 6pm. No it doesn’t keep me awake, no, don’t argue, it really doesn’t. I have some Italian blood after all.

Italian blood

Then, I get ahead of my “Brain Training” or what I consider my brain training. (you an ask me in other forums, I really can’t mention in my blog). Then I watch a few shows I feel keep me in touch with the real world.

Brain Training

But I digress. The evening is filled with hours of TV and some social media stuff and emails, let alone the admin/case notes I do every day, so if needed I can be billed correctly, I message friends so I can keep in touch with people I love.

I Digress

At some point I realise, should I eat dinner? Yes! It’s probably as late as 11pm.

You see the slippery slope to hell now? I prepare something tasty, lazy, but healthy and I get back to admin and emails. I like to have a cuppa T (yes cup of tea) and a brain numbing horror or two of TV to help wind down and switch off

Late night dinner

Before I know it, it’s 2am.

I’m working on it, I swear…

Working on it


Torture – Part 1

Published August 6, 2018 by helentastic67

Torture Part 1 a

Torture Part 1

There are some posts I put off writing, I’ve had this on simmer in the back of my mind for years and as usual, there are a million ways to address this one. It kinda follows one about the Neuro Angiogram, of which I’ve had two, of and I hated. And ironically, I’ve had two of these also and I hated both of these also.


Firstly, I should premise by saying 2011 was a rough year. Let me start by saying the issues started a few years earlier, but I didn’t piece everything together until sometime later.

2011 problem

By 2011, I had been living one handed for a few years, being fiercely independent and with the ability to keep doing some things one handed. With the encouragement of my physio and OT, I kept doing “things” one handed, ie) lifting a 10kg bag of kitty litter and taking it from the front door to the back door, so it took pressure off the boyfriend. (Yeah! I know, I had one.) Helen now don’t got one. I’ll get to that, it’s on the list.

Kitty Litter

Now, where was I?

On the 6th January that year, I lifted my small suitcase from the floor to my bed. It was full of my laptop, hard drives and other tech stuff and I didn’t want my mother to lift it, so I did it. In hindsight, that was the straw that broke the camel’s back.


Weird things started to happen like, it hurt to sit, but not my “butt” I had shooting pain down my right leg. Reminder; my right leg is my good leg, really don’t need anything going wrong with my good leg. I couldn’t sit on the couch in the evenings and watch TV.

Pain in the butt

Trips to my GP, had new medication added to my diet. I think we started with muscle relaxants.


Can’t recall now, what medications followed that, but I started getting Ultrasounds to my legs and other things.

What felt like forever, later we found what worked. The Silver bullet came in the form of Oxy and what I refer to as ‘Oxy, Oxy and Oxy.’

Oxy Oxy Oxy

Slow release, short release and don’t bother me with that because it’s just not going to help.

Oh yeah, eventually the diagnosis was a disc bulge and another crappy side-effect. I felt I needed to pee. All the time and of course if you have ever been on any serious Opiates, you know you have the added trauma of Constipation. Super!


So, as part of the process to get better, is medication. Some people can walk it off and it just gets better. Some people require surgery, but while brain surgeons (Nuero Surgeons) do brains and backs, they prioritise brain.

Brain surgery

Now my happy place that year was lying on my bed, my laptop now lived on my bed so, I just spent more time there. My happy place with Opiates, was 20mg of Oxy Contin during the day and 10mg at night. If I had to go out, I would take 5mg of Oxy norm, it works fairly quickly, but gives you only three hours of taking the edge off.

Lying in bed

I caught the taxi to my local appointments, because I struggled to even scooter to them.

My ‘shrink’ I saw over the phone, paying using online banking. I saw my GP while lying down on his bed, you know, that table thingy? So, saying all of this, it was a long year.

Shrink on phone

The ironic part was all the medical people I saw that year, couldn’t diagnose me, until an MRI told me what the cause to the pain was.

Dr Diagnosis

After diagnosis, a lovely Indian woman who dropped over, I told her I had a disc bulge and she asked “do you have pain down your leg?”



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