Retired

All posts tagged Retired

Online Dating

Published March 6, 2020 by helentastic67

Online Dating…. Arghh

I know I covered the Barren Spinster thing, but I didn’t as yet cover the dating with a disability thing. Until now.

After a few years of being single, I tried consciously to do the online dating thing.

Sweet Jesus! The Millennial’s! Can we blame them for that?

I mean, I did the clubs thing back in the 90’s, I was out there, I had exposure and nothing. Most of my 20’s, single.

Can you think of the top three questions you get asked doing the online dating? Please imagine my profile mentioned I did not drink, imagine it was something akin to personality. I wasn’t looking or interested in a quick sleaze. I wanted that eventually, but not from someone old enough to by my dad.

Right!

Question 1, What do you do? I tell them I’m retired. (to avoid catfishing, I quickly follow with retired, but poor) and I do advocacy for people with disabilities. Let me tell you what they want? 1. A quick shag, almost on order like Uber Eats. Cringe!

Older guys want Jennifer Aniston, wearing a tiny bikini while lying on the beach drinking a beer.

  • Are these men A-Grade specimens of man? Deserving of a Jennifer Aniston? Don’t be ridiculous.

Saturday

Published March 9, 2018 by helentastic67

Saturday

Saturday

I like to imagine I’ve mentioned it but just in case I haven’t or you missed it. I go off the grid on a Saturday.

Saturday 1

That means no mobile phone, none. No emails, hell no, no emails and no social media.

Despite the fact I’m ‘retired’, not bragging, I’m unable to do any of the things that used to pay me and I couldn’t manage what most consider ‘work’, so I am retired, but poor.

Retired

Yet I’m still busy with the phone calls organising things, the emails and the keeping tabs on other people’s ‘social media’. Damn I will never get through Facebook news feed, which I might look at twice weekly and hate myself for it later.

Doing admin

However, Saturday’s are the days I allow myself to do one of several things, I eat, I sleep and I watch some TV.

Eat sleep TV

And I repeat.

Today, I’ve mixed it up a little. After I watched ‘whatever’ show while eating breakfast, I decided part of my new routine should be to read a comic.

Read Comics

This is generally something that makes me tried anyway and I am five years (you heard) I repeat, five years behind on my comics, so I read a comic.

Everyone celebrate and do a little dance, because I can’t dance.

Celebration dance

And now sleep…

Last Friday, I went to the butchers, I don’t do it often admittedly and I normally save time be calling my guy “Jim” (OK, it the owner but still). This time I just decided to go get a ticket, stand and wait to order like everybody else.

Big Mistake…

Butcher

Apart from the full body slam from behind I received from some bearded hipster dude because, I mistakenly stood near the ticket machine, I didn’t get what I asked for and of course didn’t know until I unpacked it later. The full body slam, I confess to say was the highlight of this experience, since it’s been some years since I’ve had that level of full body contact.

I know, but from a chick who chooses to be celibate, but misses all the ‘smoochie’ stuff.

Smoochie stuff

What? I’m only human…

The celibacy thing, I’m sure I’ll cover that another time, but in short if I’m single, I’m celibate and now I guess that’s done for now…

Anyway, back to the meat. I don’t know if it’s my slight facial droop or that the woman wanted to sell a more expensive product or she was just deaf but, I was sure I said – “Can I please have four snags and a half a kilo of diet mince!” And what do you think I got? I got four snags – check and half a kilo of diced beef.

four sausages

Minced beef

 

 

 

 

 

 

Diced beef

Guess I’ll be rethinking how I use it. Which includes defrosting in time for a carer to cut it smaller and perhaps a nice salad with Portuguese spices.

Stew

mmm…. Now I’m hungry…

Hungry

%d bloggers like this: