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I.D. is not ABI

Published October 6, 2017 by helentastic67

ID not ABI

I.D. is not ABI

Apples and Oranges, it is often that people will assume all people with Brain Injuries are idiots or in some way Intellectually Disabled.

(I.D.) to be fair, it depends if that person was an idiot before they got their ABI or how long they were in a coma (if that is relevant) No idiots ‘here’ I promise!

One of the people in my ABI network had a rant the other day about an organisation I’ve only heard of recently.

There was no background for why I needed to hear the rant, but one of my fearless leaders in her need to rant explained said organisation was originally based around providing services for people or carers of people with I.D. In recent times, they have expanded their services to be more inclusive (don’t we ‘love’ that word?) to cater to other disabilities.

Ranting

All of this is relevant as my mother now months passed did some ‘training’ with said organisation where there were only 11 other ‘carers’. The training was for how to do the application for the funding for NDIS. The training was 2 days a week over 6 weeks and mum travels (unfunded) 3 ½ hours each way to do these things. She generally stays an extra day and by the 6th week she was here a whole week.

Training

By the last week, we had really had enough, to be fair, mum has a foot in both worlds. When she’s home, she doing “her stuff”, but I’m sure it plays on her mind what I need help with. When she’s here with me, she’s mindful of being home to work and make some money.

Like a Rockstar, my mum might arrive at midnight and she leaves so late a few days later, she cranks me when she gets home and it’s 3am. If she doesn’t ‘crank-me’ I worry. I’m generally still awake anyway.

Rockstar

When Mum’s down, she is always very tired, she has her head in a book or culling emails as until recently, she has had 3rd world internet access where she lives.

Internet

No, really when my younger sister and mum are rarely visiting, they have their heads in their laptops and they are like two teenagers (67 and 28-year-old teenagers) and while I’m on it, now my mum has the NBN now, so I’ve lost one excuse not to go home at Christmas.

Anyway, I digress.

The training my mum participated in was with eleven others. I didn’t understand why I wasn’t allowed to attend also. I do manage all my own “day to day”, all my own accounts and dealings. But it became more obvious when mum explained to the other eleven people were carers for ‘kids’ with ID. Varying ages, from Primary school age to my age. But severe ID with complicated and multiple issues, including ‘PIKA’ – type issues.

No eyebrows, eyelashes, no whiskers on the cat – poor cat. Bad! Bad! Bad! Complex issues. Did I mention I live by myself?

ID

While mum was down, she would constantly point out to me that I had to ‘act’ more responsibly in public, because the Disability sector and people with disabilities are being disrespected and I therefore had to carry myself in a way that was beyond reproach.

Training 1

If we were out shopping together, I might do a little grumpy ‘pout’ about something (I’m not beyond a little grumpy pout on occasion) but mum would growl at me and scold me.

“Remember what we talked about? Well, stop it!”

Yeah, that shit!

So, my point if you stayed with me is, when I found out the organisation in question was from an ID background it explains why mum was treating me less like someone who manages everything for myself.

Of course, I really now feel more for those with ID and how they get treated.

Ironically, when I’m out and about with my Carers, we chat all the way around the supermarket or wherever I have to go. Whatever topic we are discussing, we will put a ‘Pin-in-it’ when we have to stop and focus on a purchase or product or whatever else.

Shopping

And then we walk to the next shop or location and the previous discussion continues.

If I’m telling my Carer about a topic that is a bit less – public consumption. I abbreviate to make a point and at times I turn my head toward them to deliver the punch line, so only they hear it.

They often burst out laughing and I can’t help but smile and this is often what people see of me when I’m out and about.

This is one of the huge differences between family and my carers. My carers are only concentrating on the moment. I know they get paid to be there with me, but we are engaged and however their day started, going out with me cheers them up. Whatever stress or drama they had going on earlier, I manage (without intending to) to take their minds off it.

I think this is my gift to those people who allow themselves to be immersed in spending time with me. Of course, I attempted to explain the difference, I found in my mum dealing with me when she’s attending this training and scolding me.

“How dare you…….. on how I choose to help you!”

That hurt.

Truly, this is why I blog!

I hope you can tell my mum and I love each other, however we often do better apart…

Mum and me

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Hot off the Press – 31st July 2017

Published July 31, 2017 by helentastic67

Hot off the Press 3107a

And another week has passed and I’m wondering what a Normal week should look like? Monday, saw my shrink. I do love the adventure of going to the city, doing a little hunter/gather and ticking a few mental things off my list.

Mondays

Ironically Tuesday crashed and burned, did not have a good day. The flattest, saddest day I’ve had for a while. Just couldn’t do Person, let alone adult or human-being.

Crash and burn

Sick of family not doing what they have committed to, some family not helping at all and other family forgetting I live alone without so much as a cat! They dump their attitude on me! Always makes me think of when some old lady(parent) cries that her beautiful son has died by their own hand and didn’t even have the decency to leave a note to say why? Seriously, going back to bed until I’ve had enough sleep so I can better deal with the day! (as the roadwork continues outside!)

Wednesday, comes together nicely despite no Young John to tease me and scoop me up and make my life easier. I actually scootered a bit on Monday, then got around by tram, train, lots of steps on my pedometer around the city before another tram ride home.

Wednesday

Thursday, roadworks a constant out on my street, I had a much nicer massage at home from my lovely Caroline. I made sure the rest of the day was very low key.

Thursday

Friday, a newish carer took me out shopping, no pet shops this week sadly. Tried to not stress out my new carer I’ve got for the next month of Fridays. She is young and some of her giggly humour reminds me of my younger sister. She has a little fresh wit I like from my carers.

Friday 1

Have been on the serious Provo-trail this last week or so attempting to save some money, or catch up on rent. A friend advised the best way to save money is to not buy food! What the? You heard!
So, I’ve contacted the two major not for profit welfare agencies. Yield? $60 of which I think the checkout chic may have kept $20 of it, as it did not come off my groceries and I still spent some of my rent. All the bills are paid and the healthy pills restocked. So, now to catch up on rent.

Friday night I was out for dinner with my Boo. Wait! I haven’t been hiding anything. My Boo (sweetheart name) is a I lovely gay friend, and I had been unable to convince our friend Damo to come out. We went to a Greek restaurant and while the entree was ok, the main was substituted for a more expensive option. Not going back there.

Greek menu

Really want to go visit George at Helenic Republic and not just because it has my name on it!
My Boo once worked for the likes of Gordon Ramsey but now works in the Disability sector. He politely informed them what we had ordered versus what they gave us. They looked at me as if my ‘Date’ was trying to show off and that I was dating the wrong guy. Nice, right? My gay friends are the straightest looking men you will ever meet and the benefits for me is I know they like spending time with me for my stela personality.

Have ticked off 5 plus comics this last week. I started a sixth but it got dark. Sunset is around 5.30 at the moment and it snuck up on me. Looking forward to the spring blossoms outside my bedroom window just around the corner. Don’t plan on moving until then. Not that I have seriously been looking.

Forwent the single girl date night this week as I was getting into a show I couldn’t stop watching. You probably realise I watch a great deal of TV, it’s my thing. It’s how I switch off my very busy brain. It’s what entertains me and often how I mark time passing. Sounds ridiculous but…… So, I’m always behind. The distraction this week I will describe as this; Netflix, Baz Lehrmann, the Bronx, Late 70’s Disco and the Black Music scene that later became Hip Hop. Think Beastie Boys but black and all the classic 70’s clothes, cars and graffiti. And then you have a show called the Get down. Only 11 episodes, the first 90 minutes long and the rest an hour each. I know some people won’t commit to watching a show unless it’s more than a season however I understand this show was so expensive to make they couldn’t do more than a season. Baz Luhrmann does a great job though you can never say he doesn’t. I think the soundtrack would be a must have. For something very different from Helen’s normal.

Get down

The weekend has ended with a rare but welcome visit from a friend who lives hours away, but when working in this part of Melbourne for a day will come and stay over at the Chateau de Helen. Have I mentioned I’m lucky I have a spare bedroom? Single bed but….better than nothing. Phillip, I’ve known for 20 years from when he and his wife owned a toy shop in my country town that I grew up in, at a time I lived back in that area for two years in the late 90’s.  His kids were just little kids then but now are all grown up. Phillip is often my tech-support and while I barely speak Apple he has a PC brain. There is lots of disrespect for Apple and lots of me telling his where to go. But between the two of us, we upgrade and de-bug my laptop! And he’s off to bed hours before me. So, here I am writing this post before I start my wind-down. Supper and a Cuppa T, I think and maybe I might make my curfew of 1am. Closer to 1 than 2 isn’t really getting 1am………but I’m trying.

Computer wiz

My left shoulder is hurting, I’ve obviously done something. I can’t feel a drag of the muscles over my shoulder and down the front of my neck. Think I’ll be asking my Chiro to tape it this week. She prompts how much/where? I will be suggesting she put layers down, pull it up and put it just everywhere, front and back of my left shoulder prompting a laugh from her. “Just put it everywhere!”

Shoulder

To another crazy adventurous week. Trying to get the digits up on the pedometer to make Young John proud.

And hoping I get that final follower to get me to 100, not that I get that much feedback in the form of Likes, I know I have my small number of serious followers who like and comment. To you few, luv your work!
Cheers,
H

Good week

Carer v Family – Part 2

Published May 31, 2017 by helentastic67

Carer

Carer v Family Part 2

I often find my carers are more…. How do I say this without offending family? Well, I don’t think I can, so I’ll just tear off the bandaid shall I?

My carer left today after shopping, calling out “Love You”, to which I replied; “Love You Too”.

Love you

The only male carer I have does my Homecare (cleaning) and my shopping, two things that don’t require him to see me naked and he is a beautiful young gay “thing” who engages with me all the way around the shopping complex and we converse about anything and everything.

He has been mistaken as my son and I think some people mistake us for a flirty couple. They are rude and disrespectful, then there’s the stalker type who notice him and stalk him. I don’t see or realise until he tells me later, but they love to come up to him and offer him their phone numbers.

Stalker

Seriously! Yuck! If I knew, I would give them some ‘what for’ and if that didn’t work, I would call the police on ‘000’!

If it were back in my club days, I would sort this shit out so easily.

But, anyway, my sweet young carer is going on holidays for a month now so I’ll truly miss him.

This is on the back of my mother being here for literally 24 hours to smash out some things. She left so late last night, she cranked me when she arrived home and it was after 1am.

I rang her tonight to say “thank you” and “I love you” and when she barely responded I told her I would imagine she had said it back to me.

Love you 2

She laughed!

It makes me so sad!

It makes me sadder still that soon, I’m going to lose all my friends. Friends that seem to care for me more than my own family.

Love you 3

Hot off the Press – 17th April 2017

Published April 17, 2017 by helentastic67

Happy Easter 1

Happy Easter!

Although I’m tapping this out on Sunday night in Melbourne, OZ. And this will go live Monday. Hopefully.

Easter always seems to be an excuse or a reason for families to get together. I live in the middle of my family. Definitely closer to part of my family but as I have no direct family of my own ie. Children/significant other(husband) I still consider my actual family to be my 2 parents and 2 siblings. One older the other much younger. I’ve not seen or heard from any of my family on Easter.
Wait! Mum just rang. It’s nearly 11pm! We spoke for over half an hour, and when I say that I mean my mum talked mostly and I listened.

on phone

Has been a really weird weekend. I normally pack my week with all the ‘busy things’ so I can go off-grid on Saturday and not do much more than eat, sleep, catch up on TV shows and cups of T(tea) and this plan was largely thrown by the fact that Good Friday was a public holiday and the day I have a carer to taken shopping, I could not go.

shopping 1

My carer was open to my asking me out for a few hours on Saturday, so very grateful I’m going to be contacting the office on Tuesday to make sure she is paid for the 2 extra hours she gave up of her weekend.

But after returning home around 4pm on Saturday, I still put all of my groceries and purchases away, took the tags off some new tops to wear around the house, I made a béchamel sauce and threw together a pasta bake for a friend who moved house this weekend. Ergo! Hate moving house! I finally made my own standard Saturday lunch and ate around 6pm.

Standout TV show this weekend I highly recommend is called Taboo. Sometimes, I see adverts or a mention somewhere and if a show looks good I add it to a Dream List. When I eventually start to watch it, maybe a year or 2 has passed and I can’t recall what made me add it to the list but I’ll give you 2 words. Tom Hardy. At first, he looked familiar and after a search on the google machine. There is plenty he has been in I’ve seen. Taboo itself is an odd little mystery, slowly peeled back to reveal much in only 8 episodes. Short and sweet, sometimes how I like it.

Taboo

Anyway, managed to read 2 comics since last week and still 5 years behind. But still noteworthy. Hope you had a lovely Easter, I guess I should get. My 2 Lindt bunnies out of the fridge. They have been in the fridge since I bought them 2 months ago. It will take me the rest of the year to chip away at them, even the hazelnut one.

lindt-deaf-bunny

Fridays Are The Best

Published October 24, 2016 by helentastic67

cat-friday

Fridays Are the Best!

I confess to say I don’t work! I prefer to say I’m retired, however the image that conjures is wealth and comfort and holidays. That’s the complete opposite of my version of retirement.

But my confession is not about that it is that despite not being able to work right now, I really enjoy and look forward to Fridays! No, really!

Friday for me means everything that needed to be done, was done. And on Fridays I go shopping with my Carer, young Janus.

car-stereo

I park a CD or MP3 player and despite it being a short drive to the local shopping complex, we rock out to some tunes! On one occasion another Carer (51) took me shopping. I parked a CD however her son had given her a CD so we listened to Eminem instead. At one point we stopped at a busy crossroad for traffic and she was compelled to turn it down. It was funny, I was laughing so hard I was in tears. I commented to her about Eminem (every other word was the F*Bomb!) I mean why is Eminem having such a hard time in life?” (It’s rhetorical BTW)

Another time recently, one of my other regular Carers (55, whom I’d seen previous 3 days already) took me shopping. I mentioned a CD and she shot me down! I just gave it to her “You’re boring!”

I joked, she was going on the ‘Blocked list’ for shopping! So, that added bonus to Friday is listening to music when I’m out encourages me to come home and put on more music.

And to say music is my best motivator is a vast understatement.

Since returning from shopping, I’ve re-potted a plant/reorganised some cook books, painted the 1st coat of a tray I bought over a year ago (shuddup! It’s been a process) and I’ve already got a head start on tonight’s ‘admin!’

The sure sign that my week is over is when I’m sitting on the couch with my daily coffee and my Friday treat! Which is a Custard Scroll.

-almond_and_custard_scrollcoffee-1

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Preferable, I’ve even had my lunch way before 5.30pm. It’s rare, but has been known to happen.

By the end of tonight, I do my admin and put my diary aside until Sunday night!

Saturday’s, I go off-grid! No emails! No Facebook! No diary! No appointments!

Sunday’s I try to pull the weekend back together, to do ‘all-the-things I’ve not done and then Monday it all starts again!

The end.

 

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