Sister

All posts tagged Sister

View

Published September 30, 2019 by helentastic67

View

When I was a kid, well teenager, also had a bedroom along the side of our house. My sister had a bedroom with a view of the backyard.

Yes, this is a second child syndrome moment because, it is what it is.

My view was of a grey fence that actually also had racks added so my dad could store his extra timber, metal and god knows what else. Like the double garage wasn’t big enough.

The neighbours loved to work late into the night over the fence in their carport on their cars. So, bright lights and late nights aplenty.

I recall a brief time, my older sister and I slept in a caravan behind our Aunt’s house, mum and dad were on a mattress in their big back room. My parents were building the house I grew up in. I lived in that house until I was nineteen.

In that bedroom that was view-less, having moved out of home to move to Melbourne to be a poor art student. I’ve moved many times. Have I counted? Yes. I’ve got to find my list. Then add a few places to it. But I hate moving and I finally have a reasonable view.

Ok, now I can see other people on their balconies and other apartments. But I have a view.

Blessed.

 

Today’s Lunch – 25th September 2019

Published September 25, 2019 by helentastic67

Today’s Lunch

Good Mental Health Day

Yesterday, had a nice adventure planned and by 8am the wheels fell off. My fill-in carer had rung in sick and I was asked if I wanted them to be replaced? Just imagine I do like a shower each day, so I said yes please but, my agency outsourced me to another agency, who got lost 3 suburbs away and by the time she found me it was lunchtime.

I was in the mood to hibernate. I also thought I’d make up for doing full “Person” on Saturday, I also did hours of admin sitting at my desk.  Here is Mika, her idea of helping me.

That’s right, I went out! I went up and down several times in the lift and ran into people. It’s amazing how many people you see if you keep normal hours. I was even able to help a guy who was attempting to get into the garage entrance with a slab of beer in his arms. I called to him as he was about to put it down and clicked the button for the garage gate to open. He seemed pleased and surprised.

I had been waiting for my sister to pull in to “bump in/bump out” she bought me a vacuum cleaner as mine recently died and she collected some goodies for my dad. Ok, our dad. She was going up to stay with him for a few days before going onto Canberra with our younger sister. We had lunch locally.

I did take photos but they did not work! Again! Reasons why Helen cannot do Insta. I did however make my second last bread and butter pudding Sunday night. I even had some, I normally portion and package it all up to give away. Have delivered some today and while none is going to Sydney to my administrator Noelle. She is getting a box full of goodies. Should arrive Monday?

Another crazy day, not even getting to my favourite cafe in North Fitzroy. Stayed close to my last appointment in Thornbury for lunch instead. Today’s offering a black bean pie, with a little salad and relish and medicine.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Now, off to get stabbed!

Cheers

H

Tears

Published April 22, 2019 by helentastic67

Tears

There are sometimes these days when I have a superpower, I never knew I had. I can make my carers cry. What? I know, it’s not on purpose.

It’s often the best conversations with my carers about all things ‘Helen’ (for want of a better term) the things that have moulded me and made me the person I am today.

This particular day, I told my carer about what it was like in the early 80’s in my family after the death of my fifteen-month-old sister.

She had been born on my eighth birthday and for fifteen months I helped bath her, change nappies, do “mum stuff” and we had one birthday together where we had an Ice Cream cake and we were both sick. We have a photo to commemorate the day. Very understated and in the last month of her life, she was taken to the local hospital in the country town where I grew up. The doctors, I believe misdiagnosed her, but by this stage she had already likely had a stroke. She was flown to Melbourne and within a (hear me flown to Melbourne.) month she was gone. My parents had to make the decision to turn off her life support.

I recall a family visiting us and the father distinctly placed a dining chair in a location, so he could sit with his back to a photo of Linda (that was her name) so he couldn’t see it.

There is an assumption when a child dies, that you should rid your home of all the photos and things that remind you of them, almost as if they had never existed, which seems wrong.

To be clear Linda died from a huge tumor.

After a while, because family and friends just didn’t know how to help or were just too sad, they just decided to stay away.

From nine years old, for a good few years, life was really lonely. I then told my carer a story of a friend of mine in the ABI community who passed away about six years ago.

I had to stop going to the place I would see him, because when my taxi arrived, I would be crying silent tears and the poor driver would not know what to do (poor bastard). I had to stop going, but whenever I return for a rare one off gathering, I sat somewhere I cannot dart my eyes towards the picture of him. I used to get through our gatherings always casting a look in his direction and we seemed communicate so much with our eyes. Anyway, more of him another day as I can feel the tears.

So yes! My superpower is I can make people cry, but it’s usually when my voice breaks a little and in crying.

Next time I want a better super power. Feel free to comment below as to what your super power is or would want it to be.

No cliché, X-ray vision or invisibility please.

 

Family – Part 2

Published March 13, 2017 by helentastic67

Family Pt 2

Family Part 2

I’ve been procrastinating this topic, because it’s not an easy topic to cover. I don’t know how other bloggers deal with this however, maybe I should be able to say what I like and if family can’t cope, they can start their own blog. However, what generally would happen would be that any assistance I currently have from family would quickly dry up.

We like to imagine that if someone is sick, has a disability or is dying (I’m not dying in case you’re wondering) empathy would kick in and any other ‘issues’ you have had with that person or family member, you would be the bigger person and put it aside, get over it or just move one.

I luckily, have both parents still on this plain, they are 66 and 67 which is younger than most of my friend’s parents. And they have not been together for the last twenty years.

I also have two surviving siblings. My family was rocked by severe grief when I was only 9 years old, when a younger sister died from cancer.

People don’t know how to deal with grief, so they stay away. Apparently ignoring a situation that makes people uncomfortable, makes it easier. So, our family pulled through and when I was a month shy of my 16th birthday there was another baby in the house.

There I was at 16, a full-time student, working a supermarket job, 15 hours a week (Yes! I was a checkout chick) and changing nappies and babysitting. And preparing (like there was any time) to spread my wings to move to study.

I should point out over Christmas, I had several jobs to help save for College.

This sister is now 28 and living back at home with my mum in the country.

It’s hard to bond with this sister as she has been raised by mum only from the age of 7 and while she moved out of home to study for a few years, she’s now back at home, working and saving for the things in your 20’s. Like travel.

I attempted to bond with her over GOT (Game of Thrones).

Game of Thrones

She watched the 1st season and decided she wanted to read the books, then mum decided to read the books before they would watch it together. And I’m out…

My older sister actually lives closest to me, about an hour away and I see her less than 5 times a year.

She and I lived together twice in my 20’s and to say it didn’t go well, would be an understatement. Other than I didn’t get a real job, I’m not completely sure what I did wrong to offend her, but when we are together, it’s hard…

Sisters

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