underwear

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Thunders

Published February 28, 2022 by helentastic67

Thunders

Occasionally, you may have noticed I refer to something called Thunders or Thundies. Well, as women we’re on the eternal quest for comfortable undies. Actually, we hate that word. Undies. It’s like what your grandma used to wear, but the image we all have of knickers is something only afforded to the most young, bottomed girls most of us have long since passed.

When you are young, you can buy spares of knickers for $10 (based on 1980’s prices), you can wear just about anything but at some point (for me in my teens) you start to be told when your underwear shows through or despite of your clothing. We of course refer to it as VPL (Visible panty line or camel toe). I think the Canadians call it Moose knuckle. Yeah, that one is just plain wrong.

That’s for those who don’t know, is when you pull your underwear up so high your V-jay jay (vagina) is on display for all. Have you heard the line comedians use about guys wearing skinny jeans? Jeans so tight you can tell if they’re circumcised, yeah. It’s like that for girls minus the cutting, please. What?

I just Ross Nobled the shit out of this post too. Did you expect anything else? Back in 1994 OMG, I feel so old, not. I went to the UK and saving every cent before I left, I packed my three most comfortable pairs of underwear and did washing about every other day. I’m just saying it gets old fast. So, there you are in a foreign country with sizes that do not make sense. Choosing is a serious commitment (because it is) and getting it miserably wrong, because it’s not idiot proof. Just lucky I was in an English-speaking country.

So, my older sister had a similar situation many years later, but in New Zealand and I guess from her experience we all can reap the rewards. But in my sister’s case, she got lucky.  

I will admit they cost much more, but every pair I buy is 100% on the money and by that I mean on my ASS.

Thunderpants, are a New Zealand based company of big, amusing and totally comfortable underpants with attitude for those of us who don’t want undies that go up our bums. This is their tag lines.

They do different sizes, ranging from small to XXL.

They are for New Zealand real ladies bottoms after all.

For which we all benefit.

My older sister years ago advised me against the hipsters. I wear the ones Bridget Jones would likely wear. What? I’ve got these weird bits on my hips that splay out of nowhere. Just like my Aunty Agatha (Not her real name). Thanks wench.

And my ass has these nice hollow bits on the sides. What’s with that?  You can’t push those bits from up your sides to the hollow bits. Thankfully, on the whole, it’s still rather peach-like.

All things considered, where was I? These days, as the older ladies will at least, we prioritise money on things to have a bit of comfort. I will say, everything is better if you have on comfortable underwear and yes, they have different colours, patterns, styles even options for the kids and men.

Men’s underwear is not nearly as big a problem I suspect but matching thundies with your bestie brings a smile to my face.

Occasionally, I have been known to check the website five times a day, so I don’t miss my favourites and I will buy multiples of them when they do appear. I keep my eye on the sales page too for ones I don’t mind wearing around the house (ok, apartment), you know, your weekend plains. I will even gift special people with a pair. Not often, but I have been known too. Something chicks can do but, guys maybe not.

Every morning I announce to my carers which ones I get to wear, “Oh, it’s my space invaders!” then I sing a bar. Googled the song once. There really is barely a line I recall.

On occasion, I’ve stated to a carer “got my worms today!” She was a new carer and looked a little startled. She thought I meant I had actual worms. It’s actually, my older sisters nickname for one pair in particular. She has many names for some we’ve both had over the years. French Riviera (I called those deck chairs and umbrellas), but both works.

I’ve started a collection in my wardrobe for when my favourites get demoted (never thrown out, just demoted!) and it is a comforting thought, my search is over. Older sibling also gave me some wise advice years ago. Always get a size up from what you think you are, they will wear better and last longer.

So, I guess I definitely cannot get a fat arse as I will be in deep trouble. If you want to have a look, no commitments to purchase, here is the link.

Despite how it may sound, this is not an advert. How serious are you about your Thundies? And I think you realise I’m serious. They made me smile so much, I confess, when I have new ones, I purposely save wearing them until it’s a Wednesday when I see my chiro.

I have been known to get ready so when she enters the room I’m across the other side of the table with my pants down under my backside with full Thunder exposure awaiting her entrance. She sees them and lets out a laugh. Job done.

I will occasionally gift her with a text. It goes like this

Next text. You’re welcome.

She smiles. She laughs

Santa

Published July 1, 2016 by helentastic67

Kris Kringle

Santa!

I’ve been asking people this month what they get from Santa?

I’ve only really got another week of this to go I think, anything past January might be pushing my luck, but generally the reaction I get is an odd look that tells me I’m being nosy and they don’t know why I’m asking. So I explain…

If you tell me what Santa gave you, I can judge if it’s a good present or a rubbish present. Yes, I’m a good judge of this! And of course, if you got a crap present then that tells me Santa thought you weren’t good last year!

Present is always a drama in our family. A few years ago we gave into my older sister’s insistence to do a Kris Kringle, so we only need to get one gift.

I love buying gifts, however cash strapped Santa is a bit of a mood-kill!

Christmas for me becomes the time I can ‘ask’ for the things I didn’t get for my birthday. And in recent years it’s been a way family could get things for me that I needed. Underwear! Yes! I know! It happened! The worst gifts at Christmas are jocks, socks and handkerchiefs! Unless you get Thunderpants!

They just make me so very happy!

Thunderpants

Check them out at http://www.thunderpants.co.nz

This year I also bought myself the two books I always hope for that are purposely released in time for the gift giving season.

Whatever Jamie Oliver’s latest cook book is and whatever new Patricia Cornwall book is also in stores.

I don’t read the novels anymore. With my eyesight it hurts to read but because of how organised I am, it hurts my pocket some to bury them but would hurt my brain more to thinking my bookcase is incomplete.

Bookcase 1

 

 

*Note – the books that are note spire facing out are the ones I’ve not read. So it’s how I can tell I’ve not read them.

P.S. Keep in mind I don’t wrap presents anymore it’s rather disappointing results when you have to gift wrap one-handed! But, I sent gifts home a few weeks earlier and they never got wrapped! Then, I had to remind them “Where were they?”

What did I do last year that was so bad?

 

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