It fucking happened again. I know I started with my favourite word, but you shouldn’t assume there will be lots in this blog post. I’m just emphasising the fact that it’s like a new round of people are coming into my sphere, (didn’t know I had one like I’m a planet, right) but every now and again, I’m somewhere I wouldn’t normally be and new people will ask me ‘what have you done to your arm?’ Every fucking day, I leave the house and I generally mention it’s because of my brain injury, because it’s the perfect way for people to learn sometimes Brain Injury walks and moves amongst them like a normal person.
Sometimes, brain injury looks like this hot mess that I look like. So, I tell people, depending on their response I might, no will follow it up with my standard follow-on that my brain injury is NOT SELF INFLICTED.
Because, the second assumption is that all brain injuries are and I will describe a little more info. So, it’s understood how I have had my AVM (Arteriovenous Malformation) all my life and didn’t know it until I was thirty-four.
Then there’s the next round of questions. Well intended, sometimes the way I respond, I hope they read my mood correctly and stop asking questions.
Maybe? No! Don’t be ridiculous.
A few weeks ago, at my favourite café where I go because, well I love it. The staff have gotten to know and I don’t get treated like a weirdo/freak and I don’t get the questions about ‘what have you done to yourself?’
I was in the room, I’m a permanent fixture. Two men came into the room and asked me straight away. The question, don’t ask me to repeat it. And I did in layers of –
- Brain Injury
- Not self-inflicted
- Had it all my life, just didn’t know
- Bullied in a stressful work environment
After he had taken all of this in, I realised I’d disclosed way more to a complete stranger than I normally would have and it had all happened so naturally, I hadn’t stopped (he didn’t look horrified), but I felt a little raw and vulnerable.
I had a moment of weakness and almost cried. He obviously realised and he leaned forward and grazed the back of his knuckle against my cheek and told me “You’ll be OK”
And I was really surprised. Now, I don’t want to need to remind people however, if you made it this far? Please hit “LIKE”
Hate feeling needy, but we all have needs and, in this case, we all need validation.